A GROUP OF CHEERLEADERS IN UTAH WERE URGED TO STOP WEARING THEIR
CHEERLEADING OUTFITS, OR UNIFORMS, IN SCHOOL, AFTER A
MALE STUDENT COMPLAINED THAT HE WAS DISTRACTED AND HAVING IMPURE
THOUGHTS JUST BY LOOKING AT THEM.
WELL THAT PART IS TRUE.
WELCOME TO THE CLUB, BUDDY.
THIS HAPPENED IN UTAH.
AFTER THE TEEN SAID HE WAS DISTRACTED BY THE CHEERLEADERS
SKIRTS, AND HIS MOTHER EMAILED AN ADMINISTRATOR, THAT SCHOOLS
CHEERLEADING COACH WAS ALERTED ABOUT THE CONCERNS, AND THE 44
GIRLS ON THE CHEER SQUAD WERE TOLD NOT TO WEAR THEIR UNIFORMS
TO SCHOOL THE LAST FRIDAY BEFORE THE FOOTBALL GAME.
IT MADE IT SOUND LIKE, JUST LEAVE THE UNIFORMS AT HOME.
WHOA, WAIT I WOULDN'T GO THAT FAR.
FIRST OF ALL, YOU'RE A TEENAGE BOY, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE
IMPURE THOUGHTS.
AND THE ONUS ISN'T ON ANYONE BUT YOU TO CONTROL YOURSELF.
THIS NOTION OF, THESE WOMEN, THEY ARE TOO HOT AND I
CAN'T CONTROL MY IMPULSES.
THIS WHOLE ARGUMENT DRIVES ME CRAZY.
I DON'T CARE HOW RELIGIOUS AND, YOU KNOW, FUNDAMENTALIST
THAT PARTICULAR SCHOOL IS.
THERE IS NO WAY THAT EVERY OTHER BOY AT THAT SCHOOL DOESN'T
TAKE THAT KID.
WHO GOES TO THEIR MOM?
WHO GOES TO THEIR MOM AND SAYS, MOM I CAN'T HANDLE THE FACT
THAT THESE GIRLS ARE WEARING SKIRTS, CAN YOU PLEASE CALL
THE ADMINISTRATORS?
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM IS HIS PARENTS, PROBABLY.
AND THE FACT THAT WE THROW AROUND THIS WORD, THOSE ñ
THOSE THOUGHTS AREN'T IMPURE, THEY ARE COMPLETELY PURE.
THEY ARE THE MOST PURE THING IN THE WORLD, AND HIS JOB IS,
AS YOU SAID, NOT TO ACT ON THOSE THOUGHTS.
WHEN YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT, IT REALLY TAKES A LOT OF THE
FUN OUT OF IT.
THE STORY STARTS WITH THE SIX WORDS, A GROUP OF
CHEERLEADERS IN UTAH, IT DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER THAN THAT.
BECAUSE NOW YOU'VE TOLD THESE PEOPLE THAT THERE IS SOMETHING
WRONG WITH LUSTING AFTER A GIRL IN HIGH SCHOOL, AND THAT'S
WHAT YOU DO.
AND AS A PARENTS, THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED ñ WHAT YOU ARE
SUPPOSED TO DO IS THOUGH, THAT'S OKAY, MAYBE YOU COULD ASK HER ON
A DATE, AND THEN MAYBE WHEN YOU'RE 26 YOU CAN HAVE SEX.
AS YOUNG WOMEN, WHEN YOU ARE APPROACHED BY AN ADULT WHO
TELLS YOU, DON'T WEAR THIS ON CAMPUS BECAUSE IT MAKES
OTHER PEOPLE UNCOMFORTABLE, IT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'VE
DONE SOMETHING WRONG; LIKE, IS IT HARLOT?
LIKE YOU'RE SOME SORT OF HARLOT?
NO, YOU'RE WEARING A NORMAL CHEERLEADING OUTFIT.
LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THAT PICTURE AGAIN, THIS IS ONE OF
THE MOST MODEST LIVING OUTFITS.
DON'T SHOW A PICTURE, THAT KID IS GOING TO GET OFFENDED IN
UTAH.
DON'T MAKE ME LOOK AT IT!
DID HE GET A ñ
DID HE JIZZ IN HIS PANTS AND HE WAS REALLY EMBARRASSED?
THAT'S WHY FUNDAMENTALISTS ARE THE SAME ALL OVER THE WORLD.
THEY ARE LIKE, COVER THEM UP, COVER THEM UP.
WHETHER IT IS BURQAS, OR IN THIS CASE IS DON'T WEAR THE
CHEERLEADING OUTFITS, BECAUSE MEN ARE UNCONTROLLABLE.
WOMEN NEED TO BE CONTROLLED, AND OBVIOUSLY YOU CAN'T CONTROL
MEN BECAUSE WE ARE ALL WILD ANIMALS.
I'M PARTICULARLY AMUSED BY THE CONVERSATION HE HAD WITH
HIS MOM.
MOMMY, I SAW THESE GIRLS AT SCHOOL AND THEY GAVE ME AN
ERECTION.
CAN YOU MAKE MY ERECTION GO AWAY, MOMMY?
UGHHHHH.
HOW WAS THIS CONVERSATION GO IF YOU GOT FRENCH POLITICIANS
INVOLVED?
FRENCH POLITICIANS GET INVOLVED IN THEY GO, NON!
MORE NUDITY!
THEY GO BACK AND FORTH, BACK AND FORTH.
HOW TERRIBLE WAS THAT FRENCH ACCENT?
THE WORST.
I APOLOGIZE.
NOW, ON THE OTHER HAND, I'VE GOT NO PROBLEM WITH PEOPLE NOT
WEARING THEIR CHEERLEADING UNIFORM DURING SCHOOL.
LIKE, DO IT WHEN YOU'RE CHEERLEADING.
BUT THAT'S WHAT HIGH SCHOOL IS FOR, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WHERE
YOU ARE LIKE, LEATHERMAN JACKET.
I GET IT, YOU'RE PLAYING THE ALTA HAWKS, IT'S A BIG GAME.
IT JUST SEEMS GOOFY TO ME TO WHERE YOU'RE CHEERLEADING
UNIFORM.
IT IS SUPER GOOFY, HOW IS IT GOING TO GET THE FOOTBALL TEAM
MORE MOTIVATED IF SUSIE IN MATH CLASS IS WEARING HER
CHEERLEADING UNIFORM.
IT'S NOT LIKE HE'S SITTING THERE GOING, OH MAN I GOT A BEAT THOSE
ALTA HAWKS!
I PLAYED FOOTBALL, I WAS NEVER LIKE, OH HAWKS I'M
GOING TO GET YOU BECAUSE OF HER SKIRT.
IT'S A PRECURSOR TO A PEP RALLY.
I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL, I WENT TO ST.
LAWRENCE ON THE SOUTH SIDE OF CHICAGO, AND WE HAD A GOOD
FOOTBALL TEAM WHEN I WAS THERE, SO EVERY FRIDAY YOU WOULD HEAR
IT, THE GUYS WITH THE DRUMS, THEY WOULD GO DOWN THE HALLS,
AND IT WAS ALWAYS, OH MY GOD THERE'S GOING TO BE A PEP RALLY.
SO WHEN THEY WEAR THEIR CHEERLEADING OUTFITS DURING THE
DAY IT WAS LIKE, IT'S FUN, IT'S A THING; IT'S PEPPY.
BEN, IT'S CALLED AMERICA.
IT DOESN'T HAVE TO MAKE SENSE, IT'S AMERICA.
IN FACT, IT'S BETTER IF IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
EVERY FATHER, WITH THEIR CHEERLEADER DAUGHTER,
REGARDLESS, WHEN THEY WENT OFF IN THE MORNING IT WAS JUST
ALWAYS, JESUS.
I'M JUST GOING TO SAY JESUS A LOT.
RAISE HER TO BE FRIGID.
THAT ALWAYS WORKS OUT.
IN UTAH.
THAT GOES TO THE POINT HERE, YOU CAN'T STOP IT.
THIS IDEA THAT YOU CAN STOP YOUNG KIDS FROM BEING ATTRACTED
TO ONE ANOTHER IS INSANITY.
IT IS LITERALLY LIKE SAYING, WELL THEY SHOULD JUST TRY NOT
EATING, RIGHT?
BECAUSE IT IS A NATURAL URGE; IT IS AN URGE AS STRONG AS
EATING, AND OFTEN TIMES STRONGER.
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO MAKE A URGE GO AWAY.
IF YOU ARE EXTREMELY RELIGIOUS, OBVIOUSLY THAT'S WHY WE ARE
HERE, WE DON'T BELIEVE IN THAT WE BELIEVE IN DNA, BUT IF
YOU ARE RELIGIOUS, GOD GAVE THAT TO YOU.
WAIT, I DON'T GET IT?
SEX AND FOOD ARE NECK AND NECK.
SEX WAS WINNING FOR A LONG TIME, BUT SOMETIMES IN YOUR 40S YOU
REALIZE, FOOD GREAT.
BUT TELL YOU WHAT, IF YOU'RE STILL HERE AFTER I GET
THROUGH THIS CHEESEBURGER, THEN THAT WOULD BE GREAT, BUT
I'M GOING TO EAT.
YEAH, I HAD A SMALL LUNCH AND I'M REALLY HUNGRY, SO, YOU
LOOK GREAT.
BUT THE GREAT CITY OF UTAH, LET THEM GO!
LET THEM BE AMERICANS,
LET THEM WHERE THE CHEERLEADER OUTFITS