you
oh hi I'm two times Saturn Award nominee
Kevin Bacon and I would like to talk to
you about 80s awareness awareness of 80s
culture and Technology has been in a
significant decline especially amongst a
certain demographic I'm talking to you
Millennials all you guys born after 1985
had no idea how hard life was if I was
too shy to ask a girl out there was no
okay twin Durr I went to the white pages
google it and called her house and then
you had to make small talk with a mom
for like 20 minutes before Alicia even
came to the phone and let me tell you
when she turns down your invitation to
spa Rose you can't just swipe away the
hurt you want to know my favorite app
rubik's cube I saw you tweeted an
article about Russia you think Russia is
a threat now let me tell you about a
little thing called the Cold War they
had nukes pointed at us for 20 years
you couldn't even skateboard to a
blockbuster without getting nuked my
friend Tommy went out to rent a copy of
gremlins and never came back
you know why nuked least that's what my
parents told me hey hey I'm trying to
make a point here what you guys can't
pay attention for more than two minutes
I'll get it I've had it let me take this
mic please
you people will never know the comfort
of parachute pants
you couldn't even skateboard to a
blockbuster