[MUSIC PLAYING]
What up, what up, what up?
Welcome to--
No, social distancing.
OK, all right.
It's the barnyard boys out here--
Yeah.
--for the fall Now I said about to bang out this
hay ride, drink some apple cider, and maybe
[AUDIO OUT] a pumpkin. Let's do this thing.
I'm saying they've been sitting in the sun all day.
They're nice and warm inside.
All right, we're going to jack in the Jack-o'-lantern.
All right, that was too far. That was too far.
I apologize.
You ever been apple picking before?
Yeah, mad times.
It's fun because just like a bunch of white people
doing stuff, and I like to watch white people toil,
'cause it's kind of like fun.
Let's ride around with the homies,
you know what I'm saying?
Just cruising.
Look to your right, you'll see pumpkins.
You look to your left, probably more pumpkins.
I'm gonna be honest.
I don't know much about this place, like--
You got a lot of barns.
We be playing?
A lot of barns?
You know who has a lot of bonds?
The homey Selena, rest in peace.
Oh wow, wow.
[SCATTING] They're gonna turn us into a pair of duck boots.
Apple time, apple time.
So now we're just gonna pick some apples while you guys
listen to, like, I don't know, Garth Brooks
or some shit in the background.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I figured out-- I'm just flexing now.
This is like A1 apple-picking mix tape right now.
These are Freedom apples.
They're real American apples.
You know what I'm saying?
Oh, I used to be in America. MERO: See what I'm saying?
All right? Not anymore.
These apples don't wear masks.
You-look at these apples are they six feet apart?
No, they're not.
They're on the same branch, because they're Americans.
But at the same time, there are a lot of dead apples.
There's actually more dead apples than apples on the tree,
so maybe they should be wearing masks.
So, you've got to pay for these apples.
You're paying to work, and then you got to pay to take
the work that you did home?
Look at this.
You don't gotta to pay for all the apples,
you know what I'm saying?
He's got a little down the leg, you know what I'm saying?
Down the leg, huh?
Somebody's making a pie tonight.
You got me stuffing apples in your sack?
Yeah, put more on in my sack.
You want more apples in your sack?
Yeah, put apples in my sack, Daddy.
Is your sack full of apples yet?
Yeah, put it in my sack.
Yeah, it looks like your sack's about to burst.
Yeah, it's about to burst.
Showtime.
Cheers.
Clink.
God damn, that's a good cider.
Whoo.
What I like about this cider, it's very warm.
Is similar to when you drink Henny
on the corner in the summer and you
have on black jeans and no ice.
It's that same burning sensation going down your throat,
so it feels very at home.
I just miss the homies.
Start your morning right.
Get warmed up.
Yeah.
Yeah, someone's not driving the tractor after this.
I'm going to fight a apple tree after I drink this.
[DING]
Here is the definitive apple power ranking.
Number one, Macintosh.
Number two, Granny Smith.
Number three, the red apples. Number four--
Number four, Tim apples.
--the yellow apples.
Number five, Fiona apple.
Boom.
Number six--
Gwyneth Paltrow's child.
Number seven, Appleton Estates where they made Wray
& Nephew's rum down in Jamaica.
You know what I'm saying?
I'll shout out my yardies.
Number eight, Applebee's. - Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
A great place for the first day, or the last day--
Be good in the neighborhood.
--depending on how you feeling,
you know what I'm saying?
Break up with them over some jalapeno poppers.
Pow. What's nine?
- Number nine-- - Apple Jacks.
They don't stay soggy.
You pour milk on them, wait 45 minutes, take a walk,
dump, come back, they're still crunchy.
Number ten is appellate court, which isn't really an apple,
but avoid the bookings.
You know the vibes.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Wouldn't be autumn without a little pumpkin
picking and pumpkin carving.
Can I get that super automatic wild crazy thing?
Yeah.
Oh, you didn't take out the trash.
Waa, waa.
You didn't take out the trash.
Want me to take out the trash?
I'm going to wait another week, and the garage smells.
I'm taking out trash.
So yes, then the next thing you do
is just dump out the insides.
You all right?
Oh, yeah, I'm good.
Everything good at home?
Yeah.
They put a fucking tea light in, and then you're fucking done.
Fucking garbage, bro.
Yeah, so, they don't regret doing that.
The first ones were warm-up pumpkins.
This is in honor of the lost 28 ring.
Let's carve something that's going to bring us both joy.
Someone we need in these dark times.
Who? - Exactly.
The one, the only-- - The god.
The god. MDB,
- Maurice DuBois. - You know what I'm saying?
The DuBois boys. You know we out here.
In the building. You know what I'm saying?
[INTERPOSING VOICES] - We do.
You know why he's called the anchor?
Because he holds us down. DESUS NICE: That's right.
You know what I'm saying? In these dark times.
Pow.
From a god to a gourd.
Doesn't get better than that. - What?
Oppression.
He's-- why, you spittin', boy?
Whoo.
[MUSIC PLAYING]