SIM-G-M productions!
(bell rings)
Okay girls, welcome to another meeting of GWSLRATB.
Before we get started, I would like to welcome our newest member Mercedes.
She had her first love triangle and cheated on her boyfriend.
Congratulations!
Thank you!
Now, ever since my miraculous recovery from my accident,
It has occurred to me that if we want to win Nationals ,
Us girls need to band together.
So we're basically doing Mr Schue's job.
It took him 10 minutes to spell Nationals on the board.
Trust me, he needs help.
No one is going to ruin this for me.
I will be Number One!
Even if that means shaking a bitch.
Wait I have a question.
Why are we still called the 'Girls Whose Story Lines Revolve Around Their Boyfriends Club'?
Tina, we discussed this last meeting,
We are now the 'Girls whose Story Lines Revolve Around The Boys' Club.
Well, maybe we don't have to be that club anymore.
Sit the fuck down.
[Tina]:NO!
I refused to be silenced all of a sudden!
What's her name again?
Tina stop it!
[Tina]:NO!
What ever happened to us girls showing independence?
Or being strong?
Your talking crazy.
I am not performing at Nationals with a bunch of wimps.
I'm out of here.
(dramatic music stops)
I'll take care of her.
(camera zooms on Rachel)
(Tina walks in)
Tina, wait!
(Rachel walks up to Tina)
I've made up my mind Rachel.
And I'm here to change it.
Your not going to ruin this for me Tina, I've been working my butt off for...
That's bullshit.
You have everything handed to you and when it isn't, you throw a bitch fit.
And do you know how hard that is for me?
Throwing a bitch fit isn't easy, it uses up a lot of my energy.
So why are you taking it out on us?
You have no idea what its like to walk in our shoes.
Tina, listen to me.
If you ruin this for me, I'll be forced to take matter into my own hands.
Is that a threat?
Let me ask you something.
Have you ever wandered what happened to Shelby?
She kinda-just disappeared.
Exactly.
(suspenseful music)
[Finn]: Hey Puck, go long
(Finn throws the football)
(Football hits Tina's head)
(Tina passes out)
(dreamy music)
Finn?
Finn? Are you listening to me?
Ummm.. What?
Finn if you want to be a supportive boyfriend and cater to all my needs.
You have to listen.
I was.
Kind of.
Wait, did you just call me Finn?
Finn, are you okay?
Wait, I'm not...
[Santana (played by Rachel)]: Yo, Boobs and Midget!
(camera zooms onto Tina and she is shocked)
(camera shows Santana (Rachel) and Brittany (Finn))
What do you want Santana?
One time, she wanted a threesome with you included but I told her you speak too much.
Britt!
What?
Oh my god!
[Santana]: Gross!
Don't get too excited, Green Giant!
Look, Mr Schue called us for an emergency meeting.
We will be there momentarily.
(Santana and Brittany leave)
This is freaky.
Are you sure your okay Finn?
Your making me uncomfortable and I'm more important than anybody in this whole school.
Yeah. I'm fine... Rach.
(Tina grins widely)
Glee Spoof
Okay guys, Nationals is literally 2 days away and I haven't thought of shit.
So in order to help, we've got Sue.
Isn't that moving backwards?
Coach Sylvester has never helped us before.
Well the answer is simple, Q.
They don't know what to do with my character.
Now do you guys wanna win Nationals or what?
My life will be over if we don't win.
Then shut up, and start coming up with ideas.
I think we should do a Tater Tots number!
How would that work?
You guys will dance around while eat some tots on the stage.
That idea is stupid.
Sugar, everyone is allowed to share their stupid ideas.
What if we do a song where I toss a microphone at Finn's head?
Hey!
I hate you.
My girl is a genius.
I think I should get a solo. My rapping is of the chain.
If anyone should get a solo, it should be me. Right, winky fairy?
Not really.
If you wanna impress the judges, you can't give them same old boring crap.
You need to change it up.
We're going to win even if we don't try.
Like we always do.
What's the point?
M-Maybe I can sing?
Tina, stop!
Your embrrassing me!
(Finn is angry)
(Tina looks down and is upset)
(Finn gets up)
[Finn]: Wait, I think Tina should have the solo.
Dude, are you okay?
I think this the first time we ever said Tina's name.
I'm a wee bit in shock.
We always say we appreciate Tina but we don't
I think it's about time we show her some respect.
(silence)
(more silence)
(even more silence)
I think you need to go see Ms. Pilsbury.
I keep telling Will to stop sending you guys in here.
I don't know what to do for you.
Look. I know this sounds crazy, but this is not how it's supposed to be.
This isn't real.
You need a mental institution or something.
I don't do this kind of freaky shit
I just don't understand what's going on. This isn't you or me.
(silence)
Get out my office.
Finn?
Yeah?
Did you mean what you said back there?
Yeah. Tina you deserve better.
No, I don't.
(sad, quiet music)
But Rachel does!
Oh my god!
Your right!
I see it all so clearly now!
Rachel is the best person and singer in the whole wide world!
She sure is.
(Tina walks away)
Thank you Tina!
[Off screen]: Hey Finn! Catch!
(Puck throws the football and Finn falls)
(blank screen)
(dreamy sound)
(Tina gets up)
(camera zooms on to Rachel)
(Rachel looks up from her music)
Oh good! Your finally awake.
How long was I out for?
3 hours.
And you didn't wake me up?
I forgot.
Look. Tina. About what I said earlier.
[Tina]: No Rachel.
It's fine.
I deserve to be treated like shit.
Because you deserve everything.
Thank you. I'm glad you came to your senses.
Do you want me to wash your car?
Yes. Remember to wax it too.
(Tina grins widely)
And now, for the club that's going to win but don't deserve it. It's the New Directions.
♫ There used to be a show, Awesome and original
♫ That was when the writers really cared
♫ There used to be a show, Well-developed characters
♫ That was when the writers really cared
♫ [Everyone] Shut up!
♫ Now I hate that choir room
♫ Each episode was filled with doom
♫ We used to smile, now we cry at night Cuz our show is gone, is gone, is gone
♫ How did we get here? Storylines just don't exist
♫ They're replaced with stupid-ass songs
- I'll sing a solo. - No, Blaine.
♫ Potholes, characters Popping in and disappearing
♫ Cuz they're hiding somewhere out of sight...
(rock music)
TATER TOTS!!!!
♫ We stopped believing We've lost that feeling
♫ Storylines don't exist, no...
♫ We stopped!
(blank screen)
(bell rings)
Am I in trouble Mr. Schue?
No. It's not you in trouble. It's me.
What do you mean?
Finn, there's something I've been wanting to tell you for a couple of years now.
I know about the drugs you planted in my locker, Mr. Schue.
It's okay. I forgive you.
Really?
Yeah.
I love you.
I love you too.
Your like a father to me.
[Mr Schue]: No Finn.
(emphasized) I love you.
Just kidding!
Oh. Oh. Haha
[Mr Schue]: Haha!
No but I do.
[Rachel]: Finn, this doesn't look like a wedding chapel.
[Finn]: I know.
Why did you run out of Mr Schue's office and why are we at a train station?
We're at a train station because your going to New York and I'm getting out of the country.
But-But I thought...
I changed my mind, don't ask questions.
I can't believe this.
What?
Your breaking up with me.
Yes.
Why! Why in the fucking car Finn!?
Why not my house or the park or anywhere?!
I've got a lot of memories in here.
Finn, what am I going to do? I don't have any luggage, my dads don't know where I'm going and I don't have a place to live!
Good luck with that!
Unbelievable. I'm so over this shit.
[Finn]: Kiss goodbye?
(slap) [Finn]: Ow!
(sad music)
Fuck all of you, were not friends.
(door opens)
I should've whooped her ass when I had the chance.
I guess that's it guys.
What do we do now?
Hey. Where's Brittany and Santana?
Santana, look. There it is.
(a magical unicorn appears)
I think its's time for me t reveal my big plans.
Here she goes.
All year I've been working on this and the moment of truth has finally arrived.
My big plans are...