In this video you will learn five simple tips that will make your man more
attached to you. . These tips are based on solid psychological science and are
designed to strengthen the emotional bond and attachment he feels for you so
if you're dating someone and you really want to bring him closer then this is
the video for you don't go anywhere because we're starting right now
hi everyone I'm Dr. Antonio Borrello and I'm a psychologist and a relationship
coach this channel is all about helping you build great relationships so you can
grow happy with the people you love so if you're interested in making your love
light the best part of your life start now by clicking the subscribe button and
hit the bell notification so you aren't missing anything ok on to the five
things that strengthen your man's attachment and connection to you
oh and one of these tips is something so unusual and controversial I've never
talked about anything like this before but it could be a game-changer so make
sure you watch the whole video so you can decide if you want to try it but
first I need to quickly explain attachment theory and what it means to
be attached to someone so attachment theory is an area of psychology that
describes the nature of emotional attachment or emotional connections
between humans attachment begins in childhood and is essentially the bond
that forms between a baby and his parents or caregivers having an
attachment figure is critical for healthy development because it provides
a baby with a secure base that protects them it provides for their needs and
helps them to regulate their emotions it is the attachment figure that helps to
soothe or calm the infant think about what a toddler does when he's afraid of
a stranger he hurries back to his attachment figure and he holds on to
their legs though this attachment behavioral system is in place to ensure
the survival of helpless infants but what does this have to do with getting
your man emotionally attached to you well as it turns out the attachment that
develops between infants and caregivers is a function of the same attachment
behavioral system that bonds or attaches romantic partners in other words the
same physiological systems that attach babies to their parents is responsible
for attachment and adult romantic relationships and this attachment
develops and is strengthened in much the same way through the same processes okay
now stay with me here cuz this is where it gets really good on the surface it
might seem kind of weird I mean the bond between babies and parents and the bond
between romantic partners doesn't seem very similar they seem to be different
types of relationships but let me give you some
examples of the similarities so in each of these examples think about how babies
and parents interact with each other and then how to people in romantic love
interact with each other for example both feel safe when the other is nearby
and responsive both engage in close intimate bodily contact think about how
we hug and kiss babies both feel insecure when the other is inaccessible
both share discoveries with one another they learn new things about each other
both play with each other's facial features and exhibit a mutual
fascination and preoccupation with one another and both engage in baby talk
with each other it's crazy how similar these interactions are well that's
because they are all interactions that are a result of attachment and
attachment is facilitated by the same physiological systems and the same
powerful neurotransmitters or hormones specifically oxytocin are used to form
that attachment so oxytocin is released in great amounts during labor and
childbirth and that facilitates the bonding between infants and mothers but
oxytocin is also released in adults through physical contact sex and orgasm
and that facilitates the bonding between romantic couples and the most exciting
part when oxytocin is released the positive bonding and attachment effects
on couples is profound for example high levels of oxytocin is associated with
feelings of love sexual desire and bonding among romantic couples and
oxytocin is the hormone responsible for the rose-colored glasses that make your
partner seem so perfect when you're falling in love and oxytocin prevents
you from becoming close to other potential mates and help to maintain
fidelity think about how you feel when someone suggests you date other people
when you're falling in love you don't even want to it would be a waste of time
yeah that's actually Tolkien as well and oxytocin has been widely studied
scientifically in fact artificially administered oxytocin has been used in
human experiments and found to be effective for example man in committed
relationships who were administered oxytocin through a nasal spray viewed
their part as more attractive and they stood
further away when interacting with an attractive female stranger also nasally
administered oxytocin has been shown to reduce stress and increase feelings of
trust between partners so without a doubt oxytocin is an important and
powerful hormone that facilitates attachments between the couples in
romantic relationships and the best news there are things that you can do to
trigger the release of oxytocin in your man and facilitate and strengthen the
attachment between both of you so without further ado here's number one
number one physical touch the best way to get more oxytocin in
your life is with physical touch non-sexual cuddling hugging and even
shaking hands gets oxytocin flowing so connect with your partner hug and kiss
every morning and night and make sure they are good hugs you should hold a hug
for at least 6 seconds to get the happy chemicals oxytocin and serotonin flowing
this is sure to boost your mood and his mood and promote bonding also it's
important to know that the amount of oxytocin in the brain changes moment by
moment that means that keeping the oxytocin levels high is an ongoing
process that should be repeated throughout the day so again make sure
you're having plenty of physical touch hold each other longer hold hands and
stay close number 2 the look of love they say the eyes are the windows to the
soul but it turns out they're also the windows to the heart there have been
many studies on how nonverbal cues from the eyes affect our behaviors towards
one another and simply put gazing into another person's eyes has been shown to
trigger the release of oxytocin as well as other neurotransmitters that are
associated with bonding attraction and love similarly increased levels of
oxytocin causes couples to gaze into one another's eyes for longer so it works in
both directions eye contact releases oxytocin and oxytocin increases the
duration of eye contact so when you're with your man make it a point to gaze
into his eyes and hold that gaze for three to four minutes I know it sounds
silly but trust me you will immediately feel these effects and feel closer as a
result number three give him a massage massage is one of the best ways to get
axon released into the body in fact massage benefits both the person
giving the massage as well as the person receiving the massage both show
increased levels of oxytocin and you don't need to be a professional at it
but simply spend 15 to 20 minutes massaging your partner and you will both
experience an increased feeling of closeness and attachment again many
studies have shown the effectiveness of massage in helping to reduce everyday
stress enhancing the immune system and generally making people feel more
healthy and relaxed and many of those benefits are directly related to the
oxytocin increase that's associated with massage and physical touch so make it a
point to give him a massage it really works
number four physical intimacy and sex it has been well established that physical
intimacy and sex causes both men and women to release oxytocin and as such
they are both more likely to develop a bond and become attached for both men
and women oxytocin is released due to the physical touch and closeness
involved in sex actually Tolson is released when gazing into each other's
eyes and oxytocin is released when hugging and kissing so physical intimacy
and sex certainly increases oxytocin however there are some very important
differences between how and when oxytocin is released in men and women
and here's where things get interesting women produce more of this hormone and
in particular a surge of oxytocin is released when a woman has an orgasm on
the other hand when a man has an orgasm the main hormone released is dopamine so
instead of getting a surge of oxytocin and wanting to cuddle more men receive a
surge of simple pleasure now you know why he's not so into cuddling after so
if you want to take advantage of triggering oxytocin in your man make
sure you engage in plenty of foreplay before having sex the more hugging and
kissing and gazing into each other's eyes the more oxytocin that is going to
be released so having those quickies with him probably isn't going to help
that much with the bonding process instead make a deliberate attempt to
lengthen your lovemaking session and in clewd as much physical contact hugging
kissing and gazing into each other's eyes as possible okay now the next one
is where things start to get really interesting and controversial I mean I
almost didn't include this one at all and that is number five
oxytocin supplements if you look into the research on oxytocin and adult
attachment you will see that in many of the human studies participants were
administered an oxytocin nasal spray as a way of artificially increasing
oxytocin levels in their brain and what's even more exciting this nasally
administered oxytocin did in fact increase actually Tosun levels and also
have profound effects on behavior not in one study but in many studies just
Google oxytocin effects on men and you will see so many research studies using
this method of administration in other words the nasal sprays used in these
studies worked so what does that mean well because oxytocin is a natural
hormone produced in the human body it is widely available as a natural supplement
as well and if you do a quick Google search you will see that there are many
companies that are selling oxytocin nasal sprays and other supplements that
are purported to increase oxytocin and this is where things get interesting and
controversial let me also say this I have no affiliation with any of these
products I've never tried them or even heard of anyone who has I have no idea
if they are legit or if they even have oxytocin in them
I actually just found out that they existed while doing research to make
this video however if these products legitimately contain oxytocin
theoretically speaking they may be effective in increasing the bonding
between you and your man having said that imagine asking the guy
you're dating to take a hit of an oxytocin nasal spray because you want to
bond with him it's unrealistic right however if you both wanted to increase
your feelings of attachment perhaps you could try them as a couple well things
are about to get a little crazier there are also oxytocin perfumes and
sprays that might have a similar effect yes as it turns out there are companies
that make perfumes and sprays that are said to contain oxytocin now just to be
clear I no affiliation with any of these
companies and I have no idea if their products even have actually chosen in
them I do think that they're interesting to think about and theoretically they
might even work but before you go off and start googling these things there
are a few things to think about first there are ethical considerations
here is it right to spray yourself with oxytocin perfume knowing that it might
have an effect on how it feels about you I suppose if you told him that you were
wearing a perfume that's going to make him attached he probably wouldn't even
believe you but is not telling him okay and when he finds out is he going to be
okay with it and would you be okay with a man who used oxytocin Cologne before
going on dates with you it's crazy to think about here's the second problem if
you're using this perfume your level of oxytocin is going to be spiked even
higher than his I mean you're wearing it and you're going to become more attached
as a result so be careful what you wish for nevertheless if these perfumes are
real and effective they really could be a game-changer
anyway I really want to know what you think about this topic would you ever
consider using a perfume or spray like that if so would you do it without
telling your partner and if your partner use that on you what would you do leave
a comment below and let me know what you think about this I can't wait to read
them by the way a good friend of mine just started a family channel on YouTube
and they're hilarious so if you want a good laugh check them out by clicking
here I'll see you in the next video