[gasping]
[snoring]
[laughing]
I wouldn't believe it if I didn't see it
with my own eye. The bearded weirdo in the flesh.
[giggling]
What would you like for Christmas?
Oh, besides peace on Earth,
I'd like a new luxury three-story shelf for Gary,
a lifetime supply of ice cream for Patrick, and-
Pipe down, children.
What the?
[gasping] SpongeBob SquarePants?
Hi, Santa.
Did you know that I'm your biggest fan?
Oh, that's very sweet of you Santa,
but actually Patchy the Pirate is my biggest fan.
Ho, ho, ho! Ahoy, SpongeBob and Patrick!
It's me, Patchy the Pirate.
[gasping]
Come on in, mama.
Mamamama.
Isn't it lovely, dear?
I've adopted your two little friends.
Brothers.
[babbling]
Oh, what a beautiful family. Ee. Smile.
♪ It's shaping up To be a wonderful holiday ♪
♪ Not your normal Average everyday ♪
♪ Sounds like someone fell My old coral tree ♪
♪ SpongeBob, Patrick Why'd you do this to me? ♪
♪ The world feels like It's in loverly ♪
♪ Go away Before I harm you bodily ♪
♪ This Christmas feels like The very first Christmas to me♪
♪ There'll be shopping Decorating and plenty of snow ♪
♪ Hey Patrick, who's that Under the mistletoe? ♪
♪ What? Who me? Would you look at the time ♪
♪ I should go! ♪
♪ People seem A little more brotherly ♪
♪ Here's a special something To you from me ♪
♪ Even the trash On Christmas smells sweetly ♪
♪ This Christmas feels like The very first Christmas to me♪
♪ Da da da da da da da da da ♪
♪ What do you want Can't you see that I'm busy? ♪
♪ Step outside, we've got Something for you to see ♪
♪ SpongeBob, take this stuff Down immediately ♪
♪ Chestnuts roasting and burns In the third degree ♪
♪ Tonight things are as good As they seem to be ♪
♪ A star on top will complete All the scenery ♪
♪ This Christmas feels like The very first Christmas to me♪
[laughing]
♪ This Christmas feels like The very first Christmas to me♪
[dinging]
Mail!
They let a moron like you deliver the mail?
Oh, you'd be surprised what they let morons do.
[gasping] It's here! It's here!
[laughing]
What's wrong with Squidward's face?
[hyenas laughing]
I think he's smiling.
I finally got it! My turbo clarinet!
Whoa!
[screaming]
Worth every penny.
I can't believe anybody would celebrate
a holiday where a jolly prowler breaks into your house
and leaves gifts.
Like a genie.
Pipe down, Squidward. I'm trying to concentrate.
This thing is as good as a blank check direct
from the First National Bank of Santa Claus.
Oh, brother.
Yeah.
Okay, who's next?
- Ooh, ooh, me, me! - Oh.
Here you go, Patrick.
There's no words on this paper.
Not yet.
Yippee! A writing stick.
C'mon, Squidward. Write a letter.
SpongeBob, grow up will ya? No one's going to give me a gift
just because I write them a stupid letter. [ripping]
SpongeBob, I ripped my paper. Could I have another one?
Sure, buddy. Here you go.
Okie dokie, Squid... [ripping] ward.
Uhh, SpongeBob...
Thanks. Dear Sant... [ripping]
D'oh! Not again.
Here, Patrick, watch me.
Dear Santa, what do I want for Christmas, you may ask?
All I want is for you to visit the gentle folk here
in Bikini Bottom. That is my wish.
Patrick, I designed this mechanism
specifically to shoot bottles to the surface.
The hopes of everyone rests on the success
of its maiden voyage. Fire in the hole!
Santa! Haha.
Where's Santa?
He doesn't come till Christmas Eve.
The only way to relax YOUR LEG is to walk on hot coals.
Hot coals?!
Now, Fred, close your eyes and repeat after me
the ancient mantra.
My feet are cold. My feet are cold.
My feet are cold.
My feet are cold. My feet are cold.
[moaning]
My feet are cold. My feet are cold.
Ow!
Ow! My butt!
[moaning]
Oh, my feet are cold. My feet are cold.
My feet are cold. My feet are cold.
Ooh.
[crying]
I still want you to have this.
What? What's this?
I made it for you so you wouldn't be left out
when... Santa came! [crying]
Oh, gee, I, uh, you know I- I- I-
You're welcome.
[crying]
SpongeBob. He made me a present?
It's probably a jellyfish net or an old Krabby Patty. Heh.
Or... his favorite underpants. Present. Heh. What?
Why, it looks like a clarinet.
[sniffing]
It smells like one, too. Handcrafted out of driftwood.
And it's even got my name on it. What's this?
[music playing]
Oh, wow.
This is the greatest gift I have ever gotten.
Oh, I feel like a... I feel like a...
I feel like a...
[braying]
big jerk.
And I have the love of my friends.
And I live in the bestest place in the whole wide world,
Bikini Bottom, where nothing bad can ever happen,
and there's nothing to ever, ever be scared of.
[screaming]
"From your biggest fan." Hmm? I have a fan?
Ahh, surprise! [chuckles]
It's Patchy the Pirate! Happy birthday, SpongeBob!
Oh!
Thank you, Patchy!
[laughing]
[music playing]
Oh boy, a Christmas parade!
The perfect occasion to spread some mouthwatering joy.
♪ Oh, everyone try Some hot fruitcake today ♪
♪ Eat it all up And you will shout “Hooray!” ♪
Yay!
♪ Everyone can get behind A mouthful of warm sunshine ♪
♪ Everyone eat A Christmas time cliché ♪
[popping]
[crying]
♪ Everyone can get behind A mouthful of Christmas time ♪
♪ Let's all eat Some hot fruitcake today ♪
[clamoring]
This just keeps getting better and better.
Ho ho ho! So, little boy,
what would you like for Christmas?
I want a sled and a truck and a bike and a train.
Hi, Santa! Have some fruitcake.
And a water pistol and a helicopter and, and uh...
Ho ho ho.
Oh.
Well, why don't you get a job and buy all that junk yourself?
And while you're at it try brushing your teeth,
you little-
Have some fruitcake!
Thanks! That's it! I'm outta here!
Whee-ee-ee!
Oh, yeah. And I want a trampoline!
Aww.
Happy holidays, everybody. Sheldon.
Lump of coal.
Merry Christmas, Plankton.
Another lump of coal no doubt.
What's this?
Yes, I will, SpongeBob. Yes I will.
[laughing]
[grunting]
Destroy! [laughing]
[roaring]
Ho ho ho! [laughing]
Squidward, in honor of employee brotherhood,
I present to you a gift. Ta-da.
I heart you.
Try it on, Mr. Squidward.
It's got you written all over it.
[laughing]
I wasn't sure how big to make the hole for the head,
so I used a watermelon for size.
Do you love it?
It's a little itchy.
What's this thing made of?
Eyelashes.
[whimpering]
Now, may I resume my minimum wage duties?
After you present your brotherhood gift?
I'll buy the little twerp a gumball!
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, lad. You know the rules.
You have to make the gift.
The only thing I'm making is for the exit.
Is this any better, Squidward? I made this one with my tears.
[sighing]
Patrick, you fool! This was over before it started!
I will now consider your unconditional surren...
...der.
[laughing]
So that's how he wants it to go down.
[laughing]
Ha! You missed me!
Whoo.
[clicking]
[groaning]
Score one for the boys back home!
[knocking]
Yes? Oh, Patrick. What an unpleasant surprise.
Oh, boy, nothing like a game of charades.
I was trying to tell you that I was choking on snow,
but the snow melted and turned into water,
and I drank all the water, now I'm better.
Fascinating.
Just put those patties back when you're done!
Will do, Mr. Krabs.
I'm really glad I don't eat here.
Order up.
Hey, where's my food?
Mmm.
I want my Crabby Flabby!
Coming right up, sir.
Ow!
Delicious!
[whistle blowing] Yay!
Wow, that looks like fun. I'll have two Krabby Patties,
but don't cook them.
I'll have two frozen Krabby Patties too.
Yes, sir.
I want patty skates.
I need two patties now.
It's beautiful.
I'm selling twice as many patties
and I don't even have to cook 'em.
This is the happiest and most cost effective day
of me whole life. [laughing]
[Plankton] No!
[meowing]
That a boy, Gary.
[screaming]
[sighing]
Cliff!
[screaming]
Hold on, SpongeBob!
We made it. Hooray. Right, Squidward?
[gasping] Oh, my gosh!
Patrick, lend to the other side.
- Excuse me, ma'am. - What?
[grunting]
Got ya.
Hey, Sandy, have you given any thought
to how we're gonna... land?
You'll be happy to hear
we're out of the black lemonade business.
We found something new.
Yeah, it's all yours, buddy. Homemade cookies.
Yay.
Huh. You know, a- a homemade cookie is
just the kind of comfort food I could use right now. Thanks.
Hey, these cookies are delicious! What's in them?
Spider eggs!
Yeah, say hello to our new partner.
Mildred, you've met Squidward.
[screaming]
♪ Oh ♪
Oh, no, he's not gonna sing.
♪ Oh, Krusty Krab Oh, Krusty Krab ♪
♪ Oh, how I love you Krusty Krab ♪
♪ Your Krabby Patties From the grill ♪
♪ The smell of grease gives me A thrill ♪
♪ Oh, Krusty Krab Oh, Krusty Krab ♪
♪ Oh, how I love you Krusty Krab ♪
♪ With prices high And portions small ♪
♪ The stains of mustard On the wall ♪
♪ Oh, Krusty Krab Oh, Krusty Krab ♪
♪ Oh, how I love you Krusty Krab ♪
[humming]
♪ Oh, Krusty Krab Oh, Krusty Krab ♪
♪ Oh, how I love you Krusty Krab ♪
♪ Oh, Krusty Krab Oh, Krusty Krab ♪
♪ Oh, how I love you Krusty Krab ♪
[humming]
[humming, crying]
Mr. Krabs, look.
Me customers? They're coming back?!
SpongeBob's dopey little song is bringing 'em back!
[laughing, humming]
[humming]
Oh, Krusty Krab, you've always been there for me.
When I'm tired and hungry, I just reach out my hand,
and there you are with a Krabby Patty
that's all so hot and juicy.
Are you with me, people?!
Yeah!
I said, "Are you with me, people?!"
Yeah!