- Heya playa, is there a girl in your group of friends
that you like and wanna ask out,
but you're just too nervous to?
Don't worry, in this video
I'm gonna tell you exactly how to do it.
Stay tuned.
For those of you that are new here, my name is Josh,
and every single Monday through Friday, I make videos,
sharing tips, ideas and stories
teaching you how to be your best self.
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Now the first thought in your mind might be,
"This is never gonna work, we're friends.
"It's gonna ruin our friendship.
"Everyone's gonna look at us weird,
"it's gonna be weird if she rejects me,
"I'm just not even gonna go for it."
Before you assume that things
are just not gonna work out, though,
you need to take what I call the friend zone test.
Ask yourself this,
are your romantic feelings for that person so strong
that you're willing to risk the friendship
just to potentially date them?
Or, do you see them as such a good friend
that you don't ever wanna lose that,
and you're willing to put your romantic feelings aside
even if it means seeing them with other people,
and just never potentially dating them ever?
Pursue dating, or keep the friendship?
It's a tough choice to make, but don't worry,
at the end of this video, I'm gonna link up a playlist
with all my different friend zone videos,
how to escape and things,
so stay tuned for that.
But for those of you that want to pursue this girl,
that wanna ask her out,
and wanna navigate this kind of awkward situation,
here's what I think you should do.
The first step is to change the dynamic
of how you interact with that girl.
Most likely, you talk to her
just like you talk to all your other friends.
You treat everyone equally,
and that's why she doesn't see you any differently.
If you're doing things like calling her bro, or dude,
or even just rough housing with her like you would
your other guy friends,
you're really setting a tone
that you don't see her in a romantic light.
And that's something you wanna change.
So I would say, drop that behavior entirely.
Instead, you might wanna make that transition
by saying something to her, like,
"Wow, I don't know what it is about you today,
"but something is very different,
"and I wanna get to know that better.
"What are you doing later?
"The two of us should hang out one on one
"just to really get to know each other better."
I get it.
She's your friend, you probably already know
everything there is to know about her,
but the point really isn't to learn more,
the point is to show her
that you're changing the way
that you're interacting with her.
So when the two of you hang out one-on-one,
your behavior's gonna change up a little bit,
you're gonna be a little bit more flirty,
a little bit more hands-on,
a little bit more curious about who she is as a person
so that she can read that difference in behavior.
The second thing you should think about
is what is the dynamic of the friend group?
Has this girl ever dated anyone else in that group?
Does anyone else know that you like her?
You might wanna talk to your closest guy friends there
and let them know beforehand
so when you start flirting with her
they don't call it out and make fun of you,
or just find it weird altogether.
I've been in situations where I knew
one of the guys in a friend group
started to like one of the girls.
So, instead of making fun of him or teasing him
whenever he started to act differently,
I supported him, I tried to help him get with her
because I knew beforehand what was going on.
And if the two of you do start going out,
that's a change everyone is gonna have to prepare for.
They may have to start getting used to seeing
you and that girl walking together, holding arms,
kissing, and all these different things.
So, preparing everyone beforehand
makes it a whole lot easier when it finally comes together.
The third thing your gonna have to think about
is what if it doesn't work out?
What if at the end of the day,
she only sees me as a friend?
How can we continue being friends in that friend group
without it being awkward?
Well, a lot of times the solution
to getting past awkward moments is to not dwell on them.
Meaning, if every single time you see that girl
you're shy and you're timid and you avoid her,
that's only gonna add to the awkwardness.
But, if you continue talking to her regularly afterwards,
she might start to see you as a friend again,
and things might go back to normal.
That's why I don't think it's a good idea
to confess your feelings to her.
It's way easier for you to
kinda casually work in that you like her,
to start asking her to hang out one-on-one,
to start complimenting her, to start flirting with her,
to build up to the potential of you two dating,
and that way, if it doesn't work out,
fine, just keep that same behavior with her,
and let that be the new norm of how you interact with her.
Yes, she may figure out that you do like her,
but she's gonna start to see you
as a flirty person being the norm now,
this is just how you talk and interact with her.
Better than before where you were shy and timid
and just treated her like a bro.
Also, people work in this funny way
where if we know someone likes us,
and they're flirting with us,
and doing all these different things,
the moment we start to see them
doing that with someone else,
flirting with someone else and pursuing them,
it piques our jealousy, our curiosity,
it makes us more interested in that person,
because hey, why aren't you paying attention to me anymore?
And look, if your friends decide to start
making fun of you for pursuing her, who cares?
At the end of the day, if you get the girl,
they're gonna get used to it,
and they're gonna stop making fun of you.
So, it's not that big of a deal in the long term game.
And, there's nothing to be ashamed of
if the two of you do start going out,
and you do hang out in your friend group.
Your friends just have to understand
that you will need alone time with her.
The two of you are gonna wanna
get to know each other better on a deeper level.
So that's just something
everyone's gonna have to learn how to balance.
So what do you think, though?
Is there a girl in your friend group
that you wanna ask out,
but you're just afraid of how things are gonna play out?
Maybe it'll ruin the friendship,
maybe your friends will make fun of you,
you're not really sure how to go about it?
Leave your comments down below, and we'll talk about it.
But the learning doesn't end there.
If you wanna know how to get out of the friend zone
and pursue something with one of your friends,
check out the playlist right there on your screen.
You could tap it to go watch more videos on the topic.
Also, check out my book "Embracing the Awkward,"
where I go way more in depth
on how to build better relationships.
I think both resources will be super helpful,
so check them out.
On that note, guys, I'll catch you tomorrow.
As always, love and peace.