- My name is Marty.
I'm an actor.
[static burst]
I think I need to call my accent coach.
I have an audition for a production of The Christmas Carol,
where I would play Bob Cratchit,
so, I need to master a Cockney accent,
and I think it's best that I give my friend Page a call.
[static burst]
[clock ticking]
- Hi Marty. - Hi, I am back.
- [Page] So you have another?
- I have, yes,
another audition. [both laugh]
And if you could believe it, it's today, again.
- Ah, okay. - Yes.
We're doing Christmas Carol.
Yes, Bob Cratchit, and the director
has specified they want Cockney.
- Okay. - Yeah.
- All right. - And you can help me.
- I can. - I hope.
- [Page] I can indeed. - Yes, okay.
- We're skipping over a step in doing Cockney.
We're not starting with standard British,
because Cockney is really working class Londoners.
- Okay. - And so,
it's a different socioeconomic accent,
if you wanna call it that.
Let me ask you, do you have any history
with British, English, any over there?
- What I can say is this.
I have played the role of Bob Cratchit,
at the ripe age of 16.
- A married man with children--
- So, rumor has it I, [laughs]
you know, have experience with this accent,
but I can't imagine it was very well put together.
- All right, six hours we'll get it done.
- Yeah, easy peasy.
- [Page] Dialect boot camp.
[laughing] Here we go. - Here we go.
[quiet upbeat music]
- [with Cockney accent] And how did little Tim behave?
- [with Cockney accent] As good as gold, and better.
Somehow he gets thoughtful, sitting by himself so much,
and he thinks the strangest things you ever heard.
He told me, comin' home, that he hoped that people
saw him in the church because he was a cripple,
and it might be pleasant to them to remember,
upon Christmas Day,
who made lame beggars walk, and blind men see.
- Good!
It's actually - you've got, a few sounds in there
that are already correct. - Okay.
A few is better than none.
- And then we've got a lot that need to change.
- Uh huh, okay.
Very good.
- So what we need to do is work bit by bit.
- Here we go.
[upbeat elevator music]
- So, here we have a scene in "A Christmas Carol."
- Okay.
- So let's listen. - [Marty] Okay.
- [with Cockney accent] Very well then,
who's the worse for the loss of a few things like these?
Not a dead man, I s'pose.
- [laughs] No indeed! [laughs]
- So I can honestly barely even understand
what they're saying. - [laughs] Right.
We'll work on this accent, just as actors should,
to be clear for the job that they're going to do.
- [Marty] Okay. - In other words,
it will be Cockney, you're gonna work toward that,
but the goal is really to be understood.
- If he wanted to keep 'em after he was dead
why wasn't amiable in his lifetime?
- Okay, so this is a clip from "Mary Poppins."
- Ah!
The best. - [Page] Yes.
- Sweet. - Except,
lovely Dick Van Dyke, as we all know and love him,
really bad example of Cockney.
- Okay! - Okay?
But I want you to hear why. - Okay.
- He's taken a lot of guff for this. [laughs]
- Dat dere is what you might call a--
- So did you hear him say the word "there"?
- Yeah. - He said "Dat dere".
- Dat dere is-- - "Dat dere."
- "Dat dere". - So he put a hard "R,"
automatically, that's sounding American.
- [Dick Van Dyke] [singing] When there's hardly no day,
nor 'ardly no night--
- So you heard an H in the first "hardly"?
- Yes. - And then he took it out
in the second one. - Yes.
- [Dick Van Dyke] There's hardly--
Nor 'ardly--
- We will drop H's,
which we'll talk about too. - Completely.
- [singing] On the rooftops of London--
- So, "rooftops". - Rooftops--
- "Tops" is a vowel we'll talk about as well.
He opened it up,
placed it in the back of the mouth,
and that's very American.
It's inconsistent. - Hm.
- He's hitting a lot of the sounds
that are correct for Cockney,
and then all of a sudden there's a word that pops out.
So this is "Legend" with Tom Hardy,
playing two roles, and he's using an authentic
Cockney accent in this. - Okay.
- [with Cockney accent] Look at that.
Full of iron, that is.
It takes a while, that does, you know, to settle.
- Well, Charlie Richardson said
we're to knock the granny out of you, Reg.
- This is the epitome of really good accent work.
Now if you really listen to Tom Hardy,
you'll hear that he's not using his T's.
- [with Cockney accent] Go on, let him in he's only li'l.
- He'll say, "a li'l bit" and things like that,
so just listen for those sounds.
- [Cockney accent] Oh yeah, he did, did he?
That's good of him.
Right, listen.
When you see him next, you tell him for me,
yeah, that I say,
"Fuck Charlie", right,
"And fuck his brother", yeah?
- So you can hear-- [both laughing]
Lot of wonderful F-bombs in this film.
- Yes, I love that.
- But, he's not finishing words at times.
- [with Cockney accent] You always got one bloke,
harpin' on about trust, haven't ya?
- Uses glottal sounds.
- [with Cockney accent] There's another bloke there, right,
with his Hampton in his hand.
- It's a big part of it.
- So, I have a question for you,
actually. - Yes.
- A wise woman once told me, when learning an accent,
it's best to pick one person.
- Yes. - Would you say
he's a good ticket in?
- I would say he is absolutely authentic.
- [Marty] Okay.
- If you're working with someone who's saying,
"Yes, but we've got to make it more clear,"
we could probably go toward Michael Kane.
- Okay.
- 'Cause he has Cockney, but you don't miss a word.
- [with Cockney accent] You squeezed 'em
and you hammered 'em to the point of desperation.
And in their desperation, they turned to a man
they didn't fully understand.
- There's still a little bit of keeping the mouth closed,
it's a little sloppy, but you understand him,
yes? - Yeah.
- And clearly they're different people,
he's playing a butler.
It's accurate, of course, because he's from there,
so, we can't really critique Michael Kane
too much, can we? - Right.
- Listen a little more.
- [Michael Kane] With respect, Master Wayne,
perhaps this is a man you don't fully understand, either.
- You hear that?
[with Cockney accent] "You don't fully understand, either."
- [Michael Kane] You don't fully understand, either.
- And he's using good musicality.
- Well, because he thought it was good sport,
because some men aren't looking for anything logical.
- [Page] You hear his voice, you get the words.
- Yeah.
I like him.
- I think it's a good choice
to use as a guide. - We'll watch him, yeah.
- Yeah.
[upbeat elevator music]
So, the first thing is what we call the Ask List.
It's a list of words that change
from our "ah" sound to "aw."
So it's gonna be, "awsk."
- "Awsk." - "Pawth."
- "Pawth."
- But think back of the mouth, like, "awsk."
- "Awsk." - [Page] "Pawth."
- "Pawth." - [Page] "Dawnce."
- "Dawnce."
- [Page] That's it. - All right.
- So the next sound, and this is gonna be
a really important one -
it's the "ah" sound in the word "not."
So I want you to think right here,
around the lips, "nawt."
- "Nawt."
- [Page] "Awn." - "Awn."
- "Want." - "Want."
- And I'm dropping the "T," which I'll describe.
"Awn." - "Awn."
- [Page] "Wa'." - "Wah."
- [Page] For the word "want."
- What, oh, I was just gonna say,
what did we just say? [laughs] - Right, exactly.
I think you have the word "Bob," like "Bob Cratchit,"
you may not have to say it, but,
his name is a good - I have to be it.
- example of this vowel.
So instead of "Bob" - "Bawb."
- "Bawb." - [Page] There you go.
- "Bawb."
- [Page] "Bawb." - "Bawb." [laughs]
- [Page] "Bawb Cratchit." - [laughing] "Bawb Cratchit."
- "Nawt." - "Nawt."
- "Wan'." - "Wan'."
- "Awn." - "Awn."
- "Awff." - "Awff."
- "Nawt, wan', awn."
- "Upawn." - "Upawn."
- There you go. - Thanks.
- So I want you to think of this next vowel sound
almost like you have a straw in your mouth
and you're trying to keep it in your mouth.
"Ooh." - [laughing] "Ooh."
- That's right, so that would be in words like "saw."
- "Saw." - [Page] "Soh."
- "Soh."
- [Page] How different is that for you?
Right? - That's crazy.
- [Page] Yeah. - Okay.
- So other words, like,
"talk" would be "tolk." - "Tolk."
- So we've really moved from back
to front. - [Marty] "Tolk."
- "Thotful." - "Thotful."
- "Soh." - "Soh."
- "Wolk." - "Wolk."
- "Becose." - "Becose."
- "Thotful, soh, wolk."
- "Thotful, saw, walk."
- "Soh." - "Soh."
- "Soh'r 'im." - "Soh'r 'im."
"Thotful, soh, wolk."
- "Becose." - "Becose."
- Good.
- The "e" and "oo" vowels that we know very well--
- Like? - [Page] Like "we,"
and "you." - Oh, sure.
- [Page] Okay? - [laughing] Okay.
- What we're gonna do is have what is called an on-glide.
In layman's terms, I would call it kind of scooping up
to the sound. - Thank you.
- And here's what I mean.
Instead of saying, "we, me, see," with just one shape,
we're gonna kind of put a vowel before it,
and it'll feel like an "uh, ee."
"Aee." - "Waee."
- Yeah, can you hear - good!
Do it again. [laughs]
- Oh my god. - [Page] I know!
- Blowing myself away, "waee."
- [Page] That's great. - Oh my god.
- [Page] So when you-- it's called an on-glide,
so you can be the - - On-glide.
Gorgeous. - [Page] The man in the know.
Now, we would do the same thing with the "oo" vowel.
"Yaou." - "Yaou."
- Really good.
- It's like, am I Cockney? - [Page] "Whaoo?"
- "Whaoo?"
- That's what we're gonna say about you. [laughing]
- "'aee." - "'aee."
- "Maee." - "Maee."
- "Paeople." - "Paeople."
- "Baee." - "Baee."
- "Saee." - "Saee."
- [Page] "Yaou." - "Yaou."
- [Page] "'aoo?" - "'aoo?"
- "Maoove." - "Maoove."
- "Saoon." - "Saoon."
- "Yaou, 'aoo, maoove."
- [laughing] That's right.
Very good. - What was the middle word?
- "'aoo," like "who."
- Oh, okay, I see.
[upbeat elevator music]
- [with Cockney accent] As good as gold, and better.
- [with Cockney accent] As good as gold - and be'er.
- Better. - Be'er.
[bell dings]
- Somehow he gets thoughtful sittin' by himself so much.
- Somehow he gets fotful sittin' by himself so much.
- Thoughtful. - Fotful.
[bell dings]
- And he thinks the strangest things you ever 'eard.
- And finks the strangest fings you ever 'eard.
- Things-- - Fings--
- You ever 'eard. - You ever 'eard.
[bell dings]
- That's be'er. - Fanks.
[upbeat elevator music]
- This is probably what you would recognize
as one of the more stereotypical Cockney sounds.
It's the "a" as in "Page."
Right? - "Page."
- "Day, great, name."
So say those for me, just the way you would.
- "Day, great, name." - Okay.
What we're going to do,
and this is very forward in the mouth,
drop the jaw, open it up,
and it may sound very similar to "i."
So instead of saying "say, today, great,"
"sai." - "Sai."
- [Page] So you're thinking "i."
- Oh!
- [Page] Do you see what I mean?
- "Paige." - Yes.
We're gonna overdo it for now. - Okay.
- [Page] I think it's really important,
let's go over the top. - Let's go for it.
- [Page] Easy to pull it back. - Okay.
- So you have the word "strangest."
- "Straingest." - [Page] Yes.
- Wow, wow. - [Page] You did it.
- "Christmas Dai." - "Christmas Dai."
- There you go, Bob. - Wow.
Bob? [laughs] - Bob Cratchit.
"Straingest, dai, maide."
- "Straingest, dai, maide."
- "Laime." - "Laime."
- "Straingset, dai, maide, laime."
- "Straingest, dai, made, laime."
- "Maide." - "Maide."
- Very good. - Thank you.
- So the next sound is another diphthong,
it's the "ow," like in "now."
Again, we're gonna put it right here around the lips.
"Aow." - "Aow."
- And you can try to almost put the voice
into the mask a little bit, and close the mouth more,
so you get "aow." - "Aow, aow."
- [Page] It's kind of a harsh sound.
Do you hear that? - Yeah.
- So, "daown." - "Daown."
- You don't wanna round it at all.
Real flat, "daown."
- "Daown."
[both laugh]
- [Page] No, you wanted to go, "down"--
- Yeah, I'm like-- - [Page] With your eyes.
- Getting it really up in there.
- [Page] [laughing] It's really tricky.
- "Aow." - "Aow."
- [Page] That's it. - "Some'aow."
Yeah?
- Yeah. - [Marty] "Some'aow."
- Better, better. - [Marty] Okay.
- It's a tricky one, right? - That's a hard -
I can confidently say I don't like this one.
[Page laughs]
- [Page] "'aow." - "'ow."
- [Page] "Raound." - "Rownd."
- "Naow, raound, 'aouse." - "Now, rownd, 'owse."
- Can you think "ah," when you do this, the vowel "ah"?
- "Ah," "now." - Like in "pat"?
- "Nah." - "Nah."
- Yes, "naow." - "Naow."
- There you go. - "Now."
- [laughs] And then you turn straight back.
- I went right back.
[upbeat elevator music]
- We're going to do what is called glottalizing.
And, I know, [trills lips]
another speech term. - Yikes.
- You're creating a "T" in the throat.
So "might" becomes "moigh'." - "Moigh'."
Oh, I see that. - Yes.
You just created what is called a glottal stop.
[laughs]
That's right, you did it. - Thank you, thank you.
- Like, a word like "bottle."
- "Baw'le." - It would be "baw'le."
- Ah. - [Page] That's right.
Or a word like "water,"
it would be "waw'er." - "Waw'er."
- That's glottalization of a "T."
- Okay. - And that's the case here,
with "blind."
I know that's a "D," - [Marty] "Bloin'."
- but sometimes you even glottalize that.
- "Bloin'." - [Page] "Moigh'."
- "Moigh'." - [Page] "Bloin'."
- "Bloin'." - [Page] Yeah.
You can just let it go. - I know, forget it.
- "Be'er, sittin', fotful."
- "Be'er, sittin' fotful."
- Now this next consonant is another
stereotypical Cockney change.
"T-H"s.
Some people, when they use the really heavy Cockney,
change the "T-H" to an "F," or a "V."
We're gonna go, "fotful." - "Fotful."
- Use a voiced "T-H," you've got the word "that."
- "That." - [Page] And "the,"
and the word "them," so let's replace
that "th" with a voiced "v." - [vocalizing] "V."
- [Page] So, "vat." - "Vat."
- "Ve." - "Ve."
- "Vem." - "Vem."
That feels better to me than the--
- [Page] "Thotful." - "Thotful."
- Let's go really slowly.
"Vat." - "Vat."
- So you're putting a "V" in for the "T-H,"
and glottalizing the "T."
"Vat." - "Vat."
"Vat 'e 'oped."
"Ve paeople saw 'im in ve church."
Okay, not bad.
- Not bad.
"Vat, ve, vem."
- "Vat, ve, vem."
"That, the--" [laughs]
Will you say them again?
- "Vat, ve, vem."
- "Fotful, finks, fings."
- "Fotful, finks, fings." - Very good.
[upbeat elevator music]
- [with Cockney accent] And how did little Tim behave?
- As good as gold-- - And better.
- And be'er. - And be'er.
[bell dings]
- Somehow he gets thoughtful sittin' by 'imself so much.
- Some'ow he gets fotful sittin' by 'imself so much.
[bell dings]
- And 'e thinks the strangest things you ever 'eard.
- And finks the straingest fings you ever 'eard.
[bell dings]
- "Blind" is here-- - Really, you've come so far.
- Well, thank you.
- In such a short amount of time.
- Thanks for joining me on this ride.
- Always, always. - Yeah.
It's fun, yeah. - Yeah!
Have a great time. - Well...
[static burst]
[clock ticking]
[building static]
[echoing boom]
[beep]
[clears throat]
- Hi, I'm Marty Miller,
and I'll be reading for the role of Bob Cratchit.
[clears throat]
[sighs]
As good as gold.
And be'er.
Some'ow he gets fotful sittin' by 'imself so much,
and finks the strangest fings you ever 'eard.
'e told me, comin' 'ome, that 'e 'oped that people
saw him in church because he was a cripple,
and, it might be pleasant for them to remember,
upon Christmas Day, who made lame beggars walk,
and blind men see.
[with his own accent] Thank you.
[percussion]
[upbeat elevator music]
- As good as gold.
And be'er.
Some'ow he gets fotful sittin' by 'imself so much,
and finks the strangest fings you ever 'eard.
- He sounds like an Eastern European
with a very good English accent.
- As good as gold.
And be'er.
- Okay, so he's gone, "As good as gold and be'er."
But he's gone, "As good as gold, and better."
- "Good as gold, and better," [stammers]
that's, "Good as gold an' be'er."
- Can you hear the difference?
It rolls.
- If I were to guess at what people would say,
that they would just notice the accent.
- 'e told me, comin' 'ome, that he 'oped that people--
- "'e 'opes."
So he's overexaggerated to "O" on "hopes,"
he's dropped the "H," but he's gone--
We would just say, "'e 'opes,"
not "OPES," with the exaggeration
at the beginning of the "O."
- That can sound like you're working on an accent.
Always needs to kind of
[with Cockney accent] flow a little bit better, like this,
and, kinda move around a bit, like that, you know.
- I would probably give him seven and a half.
- No, listen, I've given him a six, haven't I?
I've not been horrible.
- Time is needed, but yeah, I think seven,
seven and a half is probably fair.
- You know, he's had a couple of hours, he's an American.
But I can see that he's really keen to pull this off.
- Just to be fair, that was good, one day,
yeah, sorry, it was good, yeah.
Don't mean to come across like Simon Cowell.
- I think that both of our languages are obviously the same,
but our accents are so different, even within America,
and forget it when you come to England,
and let alone the rest of the country,
sometimes I can't understand Scottish people.
- Where you from, mate, New York?
Get out here!