And we're back.
So right around now is when college graduations
are supposed to be happening.
As I'm sure you know, most of them have been canceled.
I know how special college graduation
can be because I've been to one, not my own.
I'm still 60 credits short of graduating.
The graduation I went to was at Tulane University
in New Orleans back in 2009.
The graduates were known as the Katrina Class
because they were freshmen when Hurricane Katrina hit.
And I got to give them their commencement speech.
The Katrina Class had been through an extremely
challenging time, and I thought that watching that speech again
today might help and inspire some of this year's graduates.
Enjoy.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
So we're here in the Superdome, which is a giant, giant place.
And that up there, I'll be doing a puppet show probably
either before or after.
I haven't figured out when.
I might not have-- if I can't find them
I'm going to go to see if anything's open.
If not, I'll just use, hey.
Hey.
You know.
What I like to do, see we have-- there's
a president of the university here, President Cowen.
And what I'm going to do is switch him back here with Marks
and switch Marks.
I like to switch all the things around.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[SIREN]
It really is like--
it's Saturday morning, and this is all traffic
for the commencement speech.
Well, when you give a commencement speech,
it's very important.
Yep.
[LAUGHTER]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
You all right?
There's only one left.
Yes.
No, I had measured my sleeves to be longer.
It's fine.
OK.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
How are you doing?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I think my hand is going up your sleeve.
I didn't mean--
It can go anywhere it wants.
I am so sorry that happened.
It can go anywhere it wants.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hi.
I feel like I'm always an afterthought on your show.
Oh, Tom Cruise canceled.
Let's call Harry Connick.
We have the New Orleans connection.
Yeah.
That's how I feel.
Yeah, that's what happens.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I'm the most famous one.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
So just small talk, but what are you getting out of today?
I'm going to be a doctor.
Oh.
Yeah.
I'm getting the President's Medal, which
I think is the highest honor.
Mm.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
How does one introduce a woman who is on the first name
basis with the world?
Mention that Ellen is speaking at your ceremony,
and everyone instantly knows to whom you're referring.
Please join me.
Welcome, Ellen DeGeneres.
[CHEERING]
Oh, boy, thank you so much.
Thank you so much, and thank you to all the graduating
class of 2009.
I realize most of you are hung over and have splitting
headaches and haven't slept since Fat Tuesday,
but you can't graduate 'till I finish so listen up.
[CHEERING]
When I was asked to make the commencement speech,
I immediately said, yes.
Then I went to look up what commencement meant.
[LAUGHTER]
So I had to break the word down, myself,
to find out the meaning.
Commencement, common and cement.
[LAUGHTER]
Common cement.
You commonly see cement on sidewalks.
Sidewalks have cracks, and if you step on a crack,
you break your mother's back.
[LAUGHTER]
So there's that.
[LAUGHTER]
But I'm honored that you've asked me here
to speak at your common cement.
[LAUGHTER]
I thought that you had to be a famous alumnus, alumini,
aluminum, lumis.
[LAUGHTER]
You had to graduate from this school,
and I didn't go to college here.
And as I don't know if President Cowen knows,
I didn't go to college at all, any college.
And I'm not saying you wasted your time or money,
but look at me, I'm a huge celebrity.
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERING]
My point is that by the time I was your age,
I really thought I knew who I was, but I had no idea.
Like, for example, when I was your age, I was dating men.
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERING]
So what I'm saying is when you're older, most of you
will be gay.
[LAUGHTER]
Is anybody writing this stuff down?
Parents?
So to conclude my conclusion, follow your passion,
stay true to yourself, never follow someone else's path.
Unless you're in the woods, and you're lost,
and you see a path.
Then, by all means, you should follow that.
But why am I here today?
I'm here because of you.
Because I can't think of a more tenacious, more courageous
graduating class.
I mean look at you all wearing your robes.
Usually, when you're wearing a robe at 10:00 in the morning,
it means you've given up.
[LAUGHTER]
So the Katrina Class of 2009, I say congratulations.
And if you don't remember a thing I said today,
remember this.
You're going to be OK, dum, da, doom, doom, doom, just dance.
[MUSIC - LADY GAGA, "JUST DANCE"] Just dance,
gonna be OK, da da doo-doo-mmm.
Just dance, spin that record, babe, da da doo-doo-mmm.
Just dance, gonna be OK, da da doo-doo-mmm.
Just dance.
Ju-ju-ju-just dance.
Ellen embodies the culture, the heritage, and the spirit
of this magnificent city.
And I am pleased to present Ellen DeGeneres with Tulane's
Presidential Medal.
[MUSIC - LADY GAGA, "JUST DANCE"] Just dance,
spin that record, babe, da da doo-doo-mmm.
Just dance, gonna be OK, da da doo-doo-mmm.
Just dance, just dance, dance, dance.
Just, ju-ju-just dance.
[CHEERING]
We'll be back.