Hey guys! March Madness is coming up wanna get an office pool going?
Yeah, that sounds like fun
Do you hear that?
I hear that.
It's money.
These fuckin' nobodies are about to get taken for a ride
and they're to stupid to see it coming.
I know these teams backwards and forwards.
I've got ears all over the country.
Somebody has a new formation?
Loses a man to an injury?
Hell, somebody takes a fucking fowl shot, I hear about it.
Maybe you wanna say, "Grant, stop. You're taking your office pool too seriously"
Fuck you.
Go watch hockey.
I'm gonna win
Do you guys know what you're doing
- Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, we know how sports work.
Oh jeez, who should I pick?
Do you smell that?
I smell chumps.
These guys don't know I have a strategy.
How do I win?
I pick the teams I that I think I have maybe heard of once
That's the key, and baby, that key starts the ignition
Duke?
Boom.
I've heard they're good at basketball
They're in my final four
So are Louisville and Kentucky.
I looked it up and those are two different schools.
Boom.
Alabama?
They're good at sports, right?
I know they're good at football so they're probably pretty good at basketball too
Boom.
That's how you pick a winning bracket, dickheads
When do they play the first game?
On the thirteenth, I think?
Do you feel that?
I feel power.
And it feels like falling in love with for the very first time
I'm gonna beat these drips.
How? By going online and copying the first bracket I see.
Think that takes the fun out of it?
You're a child. Go find a fucking swingset and a camp counselor to have wet dreams about, litte girl.
This is an office pool.
The most important competition there is.
Can I borrow someone's pen?
Oh, here, take mine.
You taste that?
It tastes like opportunity.
And it's making my mouth wet like a pussy.
I pick the teams with the funniest names.
Gonzaga?
Valprezo?
No, it's not a drug, it's a school
Wufford. Wuff, wuff wufford. Oh yeah
Fucking Xavier?
Xavier's a funny name
You wanna know why? Professor X, that's why!
Yeah, they're pronounced differently but I don't give a shit.
You could shit in my hand and I wouldn't give your own shit back to you.
That's how little a shit I give.
How much should we bet?
Oh, I hope it's not too expensive.
Do you see something?
I see cash.
And it's like the face of god,
and he is smiling, and saying:
"Nobody remembers that embarrasing thing that you said in middle school."
I fill in my bracket alphabetically.
So get ready for your new national champions:
Motherfucking Abilene Christian University, motherfuckers.
Uh, how about five dollars?
Well that sounds good enough.
I'm in.
Do you have an intuition about that?
It's possibility.
I'm gonna fill out my bracket.
It'll get busted right away and I'll get real mad at myself
Then, I'll act superior to the whole thing and sports in general
Why?
Because I'm no fucking fun
Who's collecting them?
I will.
Hey, pre-season baseball is about to start, do you guys wanna take some bets on that?
Uh, actually no, I hate baseball
- Yeah. - Yeah, me too. - It's just like, bad.
Baseball is very boring.
Hi, I'm Zach from CollegeHumor.
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