The Sopranos follows New Jersey mob boss Tony Soprano as he juggles family life with being
the boss of a crime syndicate.
In the crime world, Tony comes across many colourful individuals, some who work under
him, some with him and some against him, like Paulie Gualtieri, Richie Aprile, Mohammad
Reza Pahlavi and Bobby Bacala.
Once such character is Ralph Cifaretto.
Ralph a soldier and eventual captain of the DiMeo glorified crew, and is not present in
the first 2 seasons as he oversees the family’s real estate interests in Miami.
Ralph eventually becomes captain of the Aprile crew, and he is known to be a manipulator,
highly cunning and perhaps the most intelligent member of the entire crew, for sure one of
the highest earners at the very least.
He is known even to the boss of the New York Lupertazzi family boss Carmine, who refuses
to have him whacked after Ralph steps out of line, and stepping out of line he does
so on numerous occasions, due to his unstable, obnoxious and downright dangerous behaviour.
Ralph brings home the big bucks, but he also causes many problems, from killing a pregnant
stripper, making a fat joke about the wife of an underboss, and being a bad influence
on Jack Jr, son of former boss Jackie Aprile, leading Jackie down a spiral of idiocy ending
with his death.
Ralph infuriates Tony on numerous occasions, and the issue for Tony is compounded by the
fact that Ralph is not scared of him and even has cause for legitimate beef when at one
point Tony physically attacks him.
During an argument at Ralph’s house about a fire which killed Pie-O-My, a race horse
which Ralph owned and which Tony was emotionally attached two, the two get physical, leading
Tony to choke out Ralph, killing him.
It is difficult to think of a character more despicable than Ralph.
Some of his actions are utterly depraved, and he seems to actually enjoy hurting others,
or at the very least, does not care at all how his actions affect others, like when he
damages Georgie’s eye at The Bing.
The overall treatment, and eventual beating and murder of Tracey is sickening and ranks
among the very worst tings a character has ever done on the show.
With all that being said, Ralph is still a very entertaining character, portrayed charismatically
by Joe Pantoliano.
If most evil characters are ones you love to hate, Ralph is one where you hate that
you love him.
On this channel, I like to take a look at certain Sopranos characters and offer alternative
narratives to what the general perception is regarding the character.
Examples include Why You’re Wrong About Bobby Bacala, Why You’re Wrong About Little
Carmine, and The Case for Phil Leotardo.
I make these when I just feel that there’s a little more to be said for some of the characters,
things that aren’t really being said.
I never intended to make one for Ralph – as far as I was concerned, Ralph is entertaining
but was a despicable individual, sticking out even among the murders and thieves of
The Sopranos.
Even if I wanted to, it’s almost impossible to argue a case defending Ralph as a person.
But recently, an episode of The Sopranos was on TV and I watched it.
It just happened to be Whoever Did This, the episode in which Ralph dies, and I was struck
by the character of Ralph, and all of a sudden felt this man had a side of the story to tell.
Of course even without this episode we can infer that Ralph is a damaged person.
His bedroom escapades with his female companions are weird and fetish-like.
We’re told he bottoms from the top, there’s the “mommy’s little _*****” scene, there’s
the line about wanting a cheese grater used on his privates, and then there’s things
like the threesome with Tracey where she was clearly unhappy.
It’s like he enjoys sex when he’s abusing someone, or when he’s being abused, or at
least is fantasising about being abused.
That’s d***ed up.
It’s extremely common in sociopaths, mass murderers, serial killers, and all sorts of
messed-up people to have been abused themselves as children, especially sexual abuse, and
Ralph’s bedroom activities very much imply he’s been through some kind of trauma, maybe
abused as a child.
Ralph lost his dad at a young age, and perhaps his mother used him to fulfil her emotional
needs in her husband’s absence, a concept known as parentification.
Maybe she even used him for her sexual needs.
Hey, I understand Freud…as a concept.
There’s a lot about mothers and sons in The Sopranos; Melfi and Tony speak about this
a lot.
This isn’t the video to discuss all that, but its interesting to note that Ralph’s
very first scene in the show is him at Tony’s giving him condolences for his dead mother,
and he mentions that he lost his last year.
But I don’t think it’s out of the question to suggest his mother, or maybe his mother’s
boyfriend, did things to him, and in adulthood he likes to abuse others.
I mean, why would you want to be penetrated being called “mommy’s little *****?”
His relationship to Tracey is also interesting for similar reasons.
She also abused her son, burning him with cigarettes, eventually telling Tony she wanted
to change and become a better parent.
Maybe in a sick way that abuse turned Ralph on, and when she changes for the better he
starts to lose interest in her.
He seemingly likes to be abused by women, but only when he is safeguarded by having
a measure of control.
When he’s actually abused – well, I mean, look at Tracey’s death scene.
When she hits him, his entire demeanour changes, it was like something inside him was triggered
and he switched, just going at her relentlessly.
Because there really does seem to be two Ralf Cifarettos.
There’s the crazy maniac who clearly has some kind of sociopathic mental issues, but
there’s also the captain who whipped up the Aprile crew into shape and is a solid
earner, the man who is well liked by his crew and a fun guy to be around when he isn’t
acting up.
Whoever Did This leans heavy on the religious and spiritual side of things, I feel.
As we know, the episode deals with Ralph’s son being hit with an arrow and him having
to deal with the possibility of his son living with brain damage.
He starts off the episode having a bath, which is similar to Detective Makazian, who also
has a shower before he throws himself off a bridge – a spiritual ablution perhaps,
a physical cleansing before death.
Ralph mentions that his son didn’t get oxygen to the brain, and Rosalie mentions that he’s
going to be a vegetable.
But later in the episode, Ralph is hopeful and says to Tony that it might just be a matter
of re-learning how to talk; in other words, his son will recover.
In the same scene of course, Ralph is choked out, dying because of a lack of oxygen to
the brain, almost as if he took the punishment that had at first been given to his son.
Very allegorical.
It’s ironic as well because earlier in the episode Ralph tells Nucci that her son had
to be rushed to the hospital, when this is what actually happens to Ralph’s kid.
And this tragic accident that befalls Ralph’s son has a profound impact on Ralph.
He is a man that simply does not care, he lives life nonchalantly and he has no reason
to care or worry about anything.
But all of a sudden, he is given a reason to care, he is reminded how fragile life is,
how much he actually has to lose.
He used to feel untouchable and had no empathy, because he had no reason to have it with everything
going his way in life.
All of a sudden, he is made to feel vulnerable and is humbled, he understands other peoples’
pain, in particular the pain of Rosalie after the death of her son, a time where Ralph,
as her boyfriend, failed to be there for her.
You know, legend has it that Rameses II, who clashed with Moses, had such a perfect life
that he never even suffered a headache in his lifetime.
This, in addition to living life as a king anyway, led to such an inflated ego he eventually
called upon people to worship him as a god.
I feel there are comparisons to be made here with Ralph, a man whose narcissism is fuelled
by the lack of genuine issues in his life.
We see this in the real world also – egocentric people who are knocked down a perch or two
after suffering trauma which makes them more empathetic to the troubles of others.
And sometimes, as is the case with Ralph, it can change a person.
In Abrahamic religions such as Christianity and Islam, it is mentioned that people can
often receive afflictions from God to be reminded of their weakness and their need for God,
so that they may turn to God in their time of need and hardship.
Which, of course, Ralph does, by meeting with the priest.
And it seems to be genuine – he’s lost, can’t find his bearings and this sick, depraved,
utterly despicable man…turns towards his faith.
Ralph’s attitude with the priest was commendable, and he actually impressed me – he could
have easily lashed out at the priest and given a cliché “why me?”
speech or said an oft repeated line in The Sopranos “what kind of God?”.
Instead, he is actually remorseful and guilty for the way he's lived his life.
After all, he has no reason to fake it in front of the priest.
On top of this, he is introspective and reflective enough to recognise that he is being punished
by God for his actions through his son, or at least, that’s the way he sees it, and
it is quite remarkable for this kind of reflective dialogue to be coming from someone like Ralph.
Sometimes you need an extreme moment of heightened trauma to make you see sense, sometimes you
need a sharp slap in the face to awaken from your slumber, and Ralph recognises that his
son’s injury is that slap.
He has an epiphany; a moment of clarity, and in his own words he’s “a changed man”.
And its not as if the priest is putting words in his mouth – in fact, father Phil was
pretty weak in consoling Ralph or giving him advise.
Ralph’s issue was a pretty common one, known as the problem of evil and suffering, for
which numerous answers are available, but Phil just gave Ralph a few contradictory words
in their scene together.
You have to factor in the drug use as well.
Not that it excuses him, but Ralph repeats throughout the show, even before his son’s
injury, that he regrets taking coke and it made him do stupid things, which it does of
course.
His actions have made some fans think of his as an actual devil, and its interesting that
there’s elements of this in the show, with the episode incorporating lyrics from the
song Sympathy for the devil into it.
For example, Ralph says “please allow me to introduce myself” to the surgeon, he
says “pleased to meet you” to father Phil, and Phil says “were you there when Jesus
Christ had his moment of doubt and pain”.
Its like we’re supposed to have sympathy for Ralph, sympathy for the devil who is returning
to the church, begging for his son not to be punished, and instead taking on the punishment
himself, leading to is own death.
There’s also the goat symbolism – an animal which is often attributed to the occult and
evil, even being outright called the devil.
And remember, Ralph’s horse has a goat friend, and the goat survives the fire.
So maybe the Ralph isn’t changed, maybe the devil is still inside him, and this episode
is a momentary blip, a door that opens for Ralph but quickly closes again with him destined
to go back to his debauchery ways, starting with the arson attack on the stable, and as
such he is given the ultimate punishment, death.
Or maybe, looking at it a different way, he is cleaned by returning to the church and
feeling remorseful, and is instantly killed in this new purified state before he goes
back to his old life.
Sticking with the horse, and I don’t want to go into the did he/didn’t he debate in
this video.
For what its worth, the actor played it like he didn’t do it, but in an interview The
Sopranos creator said he did.
If he didn’t, its sad in a way for him to go out being blamed for the one thing he didn’t
do, but if he did, I mean, its terrible and all but is hardly the worst thing he’s done,
and you could argue it was out of necessity as its implied he needs a cash injection to
pay for the medical fees.
Either that, or maybe he was just angry with Tony for sleeping with his ex and was back
to his wicked ways.
Then there’s the fact that he was still making collections and he says he smacked
someone around, so who knows how reformed he actually is, if he is indeed on the path
to righting himself?
Either way he's at the precipice of an enormous crossroad.
I like to think that Ralph made genuine intentions to change.
He is known to be Machiavellian and manipulative, but when he is crying along in front of Tony,
his enemy, I think he’s being genuine.
After all, crying is a sign of weakness in his culture, so why fake it, and he has nobody
to cry with – he has no-one, no wife, only an ex, none of his ***** are here to share
his pain – maybe Tracey would have done so but he already killed her.
He mentions the possibility of having a woman like Carmella, essentially fantasizing about
taking a different path in life.
Maybe in some way Carmella keeps Tony in check and stops him from being utterly depraved,
and Ralph did not have that element in his life.
Maybe he recognises there was something like this is Rosalie, which is why he proposes
to her in this episode.
This is all giving Ralph the benefit of the doubt though, as Ralph probably hooked up
with Rosalie and Janice to climb the ladder, and the remark about Carmella may have been
a dig at Tony because of Tony’s line about Ralph’s ex.
The way I like to think of it is that Ralph was on the path to redemption, if at least
ambling his way there.
And it was Tony who put a stop to that, that same man who is often a barrier for people’s
progression, like Chris, Bobby and Janice.
Tony bought up that he was sleeping with Ralph’s ex at Ralph’s weakest moment which, in this
theory I’m purporting, led Ralph to go back to his natural instincts and seek revenge
by taking one of Tony’s loves, the horse, from him.
You can see it in his face – his entire demeaner changes when Tony tells him about
the ex.
Tony then comes to Ralph’s house starting sh**, Ralph fails to keep his cool and Tony
goes for him, ending with Ralph dead.
As is often he case, when a character fails to change for the better, Tony is there somewhere,
partly sharing the blame.
Two episodes later, Tony has a dream where Ralph is in the passenger seat of a car with
a caterpillar appearing on Ralph’s bald head and then turning into a butterfly.
Discussing this with Melfi, she says that the caterpillar changing into a butterfly
signifies a change, suggesting Ralph was trying to becom a better person.
In the same episode, Tony complains about his lack of control which causes him to make
mistakes, suggesting he regrets killing Ralph.
So food for thought in my opinion.
We all know Ralph was evil, but like I mentioned in my Bobby Bacala video, the state in which
he was known for was not the state he died in, and it might actually be a case that Ralph
was on the way to reforming, until the real ogre of The Sopranos got in the way – Tony
Soprano.
So what do you think of all this?
Let me know in the comments below, subscribe to the channel, and thanks for watching.