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nothing little fresh air you told me to
take a hike
so much for peace and quiet
whoa I wonder what made them a toy it
was obviously a Bigfoot yep
I hope we didn't shoe it away I forget
it
perhaps this is a mystery that was never
meant to be solved that's what get your
sasquatch swag ah
step right up ash holy no check
no-no-no I'm sassy squash you get it
it's called branding kids look into it
why would you want a brand a kid what if
the official Sasquatch spotting
flashlight give that Yeti a run for his
money only 3995 but for you guys we'll
call it 50 even we're not here to fly
anything we don't even know what ass
asking what ever is don't you want you
two knuckleheads never heard of the
Sasquatch for crying out loud it's the
mythical missing link stupid GPS forget
Zelda just tell me which way is not no
not him Sasquatch the guy on the t-shirt
the Giant Man monster that left those
footprints oh yeah because I'm sure it
wasn't that blunder with a footprint on
it oh so now I'm a fraud why don't you
tell it to that guy huh what guy works
every time
orange this isn't the mall you don't
have to buy things to have a good time
what the you like that it's a sasquatch
call pretty neat huh I prefer texting
okay we're leaving now okay really I'm
gonna put that one on a t-shirt
speaking of which either of you in the
market for a hoodie hey put that down
you break it you bought it
oh I've gotta my mouth a bag boy
I'm serious pal
this ain't no lending library hey check
it out
sasquatch out of motorboats
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you're nuttier than trail mix you you
twerp I'm a sasquatch
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[Laughter]
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thanks for coming by little Matthew it's
not like I had a choice
my mom says you're lonely cuz you have
no friends okay we're gonna have a lot
of fun that's because it's story time
no no not again did I ever tell you
about the time that I got Bigfoot yes
there I was in the forest I was fishing
in the great Colorado river catching
minion rainbow trout of course I was
sending all sorts of world pitching
records does he really think we are
going to eat that icky where I know
right like gross please hmm
anyhoo I'm minding my own beeswax when
all of a sudden by hearing that's
potatoes oh okay
bullion where was I oh yeah at first I
thought it was every person in the world
the bloody simultaneously from how
awesome I am
that was actually wrong shocker you know
what it was a Bigfoot ad
hey Bigfoot hey anybody else know an
unnatural you lad stinky foot oh I
turned my back for five minutes and you
can't a fish his mind I chased that
silly Bigfoot to the n07 T national
panic effect but you know what he
actually lost him
where'd he go how are you chasing him
again cuz you don't have any legs at
that point I thought always lost that
fishing rod was everything to me
what about your family everything to me
that's why I invented the most
technologically advanced piece of
technological technology the world has
ever seen
there that ought to do it and then I
perform the greatest Bigfoot call the
world has ever heard
hey hey Bigfoot where the heck are you
smelly fishing both evening whimpers Oy
oh crap
that's how I got the missing link
aka sasquatch aka Bigfoot but you didn't
even catch him oh did I no one's your
mother picking you up see fruit lovers
and welcome to a special orange free
episode of how to I'm pear and today I'm
fortunate to have my mother
tik as my co-host say hello Lou I'm
broadcasting this what's the range of
this television signal message for the
people of Triton if we're broadcasting
as far as Neptune I'm afraid we're not
fine they'll just say hello to the alien
Triton's secretly living amongst us here
on earth Tony in for steak sauce don't
worry about it we're doing this video or
what whatever you say dude alright as
requested today we would I will be
showing you how to find Bigfoot now
we're talking step 1 make sure no one in
your immediate vicinity is Bigfoot yes
we're a costume are you hiding big feet
under your butt get off me you know who
I am
I'm hair we see each other every day but
maybe but Bigfoot is crafty aha
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did you just check to see if Bigfoot was
hiding under that pebble you can never
be too careful exactly how big do you
think Bigfoot is think that me pear I
don't think yeah I think I got that now
on step 2 make sure you are Bigfoot come
here
oh is this a costume are you hiding big
feet under your butt
let me take a look oh are you wrestling
yourself can't be too careful pear if
that is your real name
it is Lou stop looking under your own
butt
you're not big boy you'd know if you
were that's good point this is vicious
though telling me to stop looking for
Bigfoot is exactly the kind of thing
Bigfoot would say doctor boo you already
checked me sack three no sir no one in
your vicinity is a Bigfoot come here boy
I don't
wait that's a good point I never looked
at it that way haha really dude okay
step four no hunting for Bigfoot
finally just kidding that was a ruse to
triple-check that oh yeah your derriere
is hairier than most peoples are but
your dance moves are tights and they'll
get your real bar some people say that
you look like a noodle slide down the
hill but when it comes to your dance
moves I can't get my fill big foot you
got to lose big foot you've got the
crews sliding down the mountain you know
everyone approves if you're feeling
lonely then just mix up four friends
dancing down the mountain with my bugs
we can 2016 Big Foot dance party on the
mountain yeah buddy
I'm not smile now they're falling out no
quickly we gotta go serious you guys got
a step falling out of the truck there's
a reason that you're in the truck we
need to bring joy to the world everybody
all now everybody wants to see a bunch
of waving big feet we're making the
world a better place
that's it that's falling out of the
truck waving big feet okay Tommy its
thrusters here we go
the party you campaign yes synchronized
waving all right now we have to go bring
joy to all the good boys and girls and
Grand Theft Auto K oh man who wouldn't
be happy to see a truck full of big feet
waving at the same time synchronized
it's a good day in Grand Theft Auto I'm
telling you although those couple cars
in front I'm gonna have to talk your
pain cuz you're not doing it well oh
what's happening whoa what's happening
oh I think there might be too many pig
feet on this on the truck that's not a
good sound I think we might have to take
our truck to the auto repair shop but
then at the same time I don't want to
because I don't want him to tell me that
I'm carrying too many big feet oh no big
feet get back in the truck we're
supposed to be delivering joy fine we're
gonna deliver joy very quickly here we
go y'all fell out again I'm getting in
there I'm getting in there okay the
rules are simple it's like a Royal
Rumble to get this qualified you have to
throw your opponent over the top ropes
okay oh you're down oh yeah Oh Oh got
what off the top ropes yeah first guy
eliminated
I am the missing sausage link you lay on
the ground for longer than five seconds
you're disqualified
oh there's only a couple contestants
left sorry I didn't mean he ain't you in
the breadbasket oh you're out you're out
Oh is he out yeah
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