Hey guys Emma here I just wanted to let you know that this video is one segment
from my much more in-depth course on coping skills and self-care. The course
is on udemy.com and there's a link in the description with a coupon code where
you can get a massive discount, so if you wanna learn more coping skills or ways
to manage your emotions when they're really intense check out the link in the
description. Okay back to the video.
Most cars can drive for hundreds of miles without oil but without oil as a
lubricant the engine will be wearing itself down and destroying itself with
every stroke, because the metal is like literally rubbing on metal eventually
driving without oil will destroy a car's engine. However if you take the time to
stop the car and get regular oil changes and new filters and these filters they
remove little bits of metal and debris that can wear down the engine, the car
can go for hundreds of thousands of miles. The oil lubricates the engine
preventing friction and keeping the car running smoothly. Like cars we humans are
capable of sprinting around and trying to do everything without taking breaks,
but we can only last for a short while before we have a breakdown. Whether it's
physical or emotional we just aren't made to go-go-go
without taking time to heal rest and rejuvenate. Self care is what people do
for themselves to maintain health and to prevent illness, it includes taking care
of your body, working through emotions, developing healthy boundaries, and taking
the time to rest and heal. In the short term self-care may take more effort than
coping or it might feel uncomfortable, but self-care makes things better over
time, and that's because self-care is about
creating habits that lead to a sustainable life. In this section you'll
learn to take care of your body and mind in a way that renews your energy,
resolves emotions, helps you make progress, find joy, and have better
relationships with others.
If self-care is so vital why do so many people not do it? There's three main
reasons. Number one, they say they don't have time for it, number two they think
it's selfish or, number three they don't know how. So let's talk about the first
one, I don't have time for self-care. If you think you don't have time for
self-care let me share a story with you. Once upon a time a very strong
woodcutter asked for a job with a timber merchant and he got it. The pay
was really good and so were the work conditions, so for these reasons the
woodcutter was determined to do his best his boss gave him an axe and showed him
the area where he was supposed to work. The first day the woodcutter brought
eighteen trees. "Congratulations" the boss said, "keep working". Very motivated by the
boss's words the woodcutter tried harder the next day but he could only bring
fifteen trees. The third day he tried even harder but he could only cut ten
trees. Day after day he was bringing less and less trees, "I must be losing my
strength" the woodcutter thought. He went to the boss and apologized saying that
he couldn't understand what was going on. The boss asked, "when was the last time
you sharpened your axe?" "sharpen I had no time to sharpen my axe. I've been very
busy trying to cut trees." As a mom of three girls under the age of five I
certainly understand how busy we all are and how little time each of us has. But
even though I'm busy almost every minute of the day I've learned that I have to
take time for self-care or I'm just not a good mom. When I'm not taking care of
myself I'm cranky with my kids, irritable with my husband, and frustrated about my
life. I may be giving them all my time but that doesn't mean I'm being the best
mom and wife I can be. I've learned that when I schedule in a couple hours every
week to do something that I enjoy like my hobby metal detecting, and when I
exercise and get enough sleep and make the time for at least a couple of social
interactions a week then I'm a better mom. I enjoy being around my kids more, I
have a better attitude, and I actually get more done in less time. Let's talk
about obstacle number two I'm afraid that it's selfish.
Self-care is not selfish, it's allowing yourself to function at your best to
reach your purpose by channeling some energy time and resources towards self
maintenance. Just like a car goes further with oil you function better when you
take care of yourself. Self-care isn't selfish because it helps you be better
for the people you love. If you think you don't have time for self-care you need
to check your perceptions. You've probably created the belief in scarcity,
that there's not enough time energy or money to take care of yourself. But if
you make an honest assessment you're probably not helping others out by being
all stressed out exhausted and at your wits end. Of course no one has enough
time to do all the things they want or need to do. You have to choose your
priorities, but self-care should be one of your priorities because without it
you won't be as effective at your other priorities. Self-care is essential for
mental health and personal growth. It doesn't happen naturally it takes effort,
but that effort eventually pays you back in increased productivity. You're able to
get more done in less time because you're more efficient. Self-care helps
resolve and prevent problems saving you time in the future, and when you're not
running at your wits end you'll have extra mental resources to face the
challenges that come up. Every day provides a new opportunity for renewal, a
fresh opportunity to recharge yourself instead of burning out. Obstacle number
three I don't know how. Well that's an easy one in the next sections I'm going
to teach you some specific ways to take care of yourself so that you can plan
activities that renew your body and spirit. You're gonna learn skills for
emotion processing, physical self-care, getting stuff done, finding joy, and
strengthening your connections. So, let's get started with emotion processing.