Welcome back to the show.
Donald Trump, famously, gives most of his interviews
to Fox News.
It's the closest thing he's ever had
to a monogamous relationship.
But his marriage to Fox must be growing stale because last week
he cheated on them with ABC's chief news
sprite, George Stephanopoulos.
If Russia, if China, if someone else
offers you information on opponents, should
they accept it or should they call the FBI?
I think maybe you do both.
I think you might want to listen.
I don't-- there's nothing wrong with listening.
If somebody called from a country, Norway,
'we have information on your opponent.'
Oh, I think I'd want to hear it.
No!
You don't take info from foreign governments, especially Norway.
Everyone knows they just want to conquer America
and turn us all into lutefisk.
While Trump is openly saying that he thinks
it's fine for foreign powers to meddle with our elections,
the Senate is making sure there's nothing standing
in the way of a good meddle.
Since the 2016 election, members of Congress
have introduced several bills aimed
at securing elections and preventing
more future interference.
But all of these bills have met a huge roadblock
in the form of Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell.
He is refusing to bring any election
security bill up for a vote.
Of course Mitch McConnell is blocking
election security bills.
Just like he spent years stalling health
aid for 9/11 first responders.
McConnell is good at blocking things,
he's like the kidney stone of the Senate.
Mitch McConnell's awfulness gets only
a fraction of the attention Trump's awfulness gets.
So instead of focusing on the president tonight,
we thought we'd do something no one in the history of the world
has ever wanted to do: get to know this guy,
the dry rot of democracy.
If our institutions seem like they're
on the verge of crumbling, Mitch is the guy who
gnawed away at the foundations.
Rarely has a man so powerful been
as dull as Mitch, who's been described
as a warmed-over vanilla milkshake.
But old master shake here didn't get
into politics because he had big ideas or a passion
for public service.
For most of his career, he's just
been focused on being a winner.
Maybe he's trying to compensate for a loss he experienced
earlier in life, like the time his chin
went out for a pack of cigarettes and never came back.
But whatever motivated him, Mitch
has spent most of his career finding loopholes and bending
the rules to achieve victory, regardless of the damage
it causes.
When he first entered local politics
as a moderate Republican and novice thumbs-upper,
Mitch was actually a strong supporter
of abortion rights, unions, and the Civil Rights movement.
But after just barely getting elected to the Senate in 1984,
he was worried about losing in 1990.
So, he pandered to the right wing, which
was more effective than his previous strategy,
pandering to the urban vote.
McConnell made his mark by becoming
a master of Senate procedure.
That's how he got the idea to use the filibuster
as a "wonderful tool to gum up the works,"
which, unfortunately, is also how he describes his penis.
Mitch realized the filibuster could
be used on just about any Senate business, which kind of makes
him a genius, like the first person to think of using mold
to kill infections, or the first person
to think of using the bathtub faucet to masturbate.
McConnell has used the filibuster
to stop everything from the DREAM Act
to funding for teachers and firefighters.
He also used his favorite toy to break the judicial branch.
When his arch enemy, President Not-White-Guy,
dared to try to put judges on the bench,
Mitch used the filibuster to block the nominations,
which was not normal.
Before Obama, all the presidents combined had had 68
of their nominees filibustered.
Under McConnell's leadership from 2009 through 2013,
Republicans filibustered 79 Obama nominees.
And thanks largely to McConnell, at least 89 judgeships that
were President Obama's constitutional right
and duty to fill have instead been filled by President Trump.
We'll be feeling the consequences
of that for decades.
In 2050, when my granddaughter gets jailed by Judge Kid
Rock for brewing bathtub Plan B, she
will have McConnell to thank.
Of course, McConnell's masterpiece of obstructionism
came when President Obama nominated Merrick
Garland to the Supreme Court.
McConnell cited a made-up tradition
that we don't fill Supreme Court vacancies
during an election year,
but he's not even bothering to pretend
that that's a thing anymore.
That is so disgusting-- not because he would break
his own rules--I just never want to hear Mitch
McConnell say he'd fill it.
Mitch is openly bragging about how
he stole a Supreme Court seat,
and he's acting as smug and casual
as that other cold-blooded, tea-sipping amphibian.
Long before he was blocking efforts
to secure the 2020 election, he was blocking efforts
to secure the 2016 election.
After learning that Russia was interfering,
President Obama wanted a bipartisan letter
condemning the Russians to be signed
by congressional leaders.
But he insisted it would only work if it were a united
front of bipartisanship, which is an idea so
innocent and adorable I want to make it into a Precious Moments
figurine and sell it on QVC.
But McConnell claimed to doubt the intel
and only agreed to a letter that used softer language
and didn't mention the Russians.
He made us go soft on Russia because his side
was benefiting.
I'd ask how he can show his face after betraying America
like that, but, honestly, I've also wondered how he showed
his face before he did that.
Sorry, ladies, he's married.
Mitch McConnell's approval rating in his own state is 36%.
He's literally the least popular Senator in the country.
And, yes, I am including Ted Cruz.
And yet, he has huge power over all of us.
There are lots of good reasons to take back
the Senate in 2020, but one of the most satisfying
is that Mitch McConnell wouldn't be
Senate Majority Leader anymore.
And, hey, maybe Leader Pelosi could
lock him in a room with Merrick Garland for 15 minutes.
Whatever happens, happens.
We'll be right back.