- Where in the world is Super Woman today?
In Rio, Brazil, whoo, eating pipoca.
(horse galloping)
What up everyone?
It's your girl Super Woman.
It's been a minute and a 1/2 since
I've made a types of people video
and you're always requesting more of this one so,
welcome to types of friends part three.
Which means there's a part one
and a part two.
Link's in the description.
And the gold medal for that promo though
goes to...
hello, friends unlike abs, I have some.
Let's discuss.
Number one, the Insta BFF.
So you're at a party right and you meet
some people that don't seem like
they're completely psychotic,
so you're like, all right,
let me hang out with you,
let me drink a beer with you,
let me eat some (mumbles) with you,
maybe even exchange some digits.
You're having a great time
and you're like, this is amazing,
I made some new friends and you know what?
Maybe this could be the start of something great.
You know, with a little bit of time
and effort and birthday Instagram posts.
All the things that normal friendships are made out of.
This could be the start of a great relationship.
So then you're like great,
let's hug goodbye and hopefully,
I'll see you soon.
You hug and then the persons all like,
okay, love you bye.
And you're just like, ex-squeeze me?
You love me?
How do you love based on what?
You don't know anything about me.
You know who loves me?
My mom, I think.
My dad, sometimes.
My boyfriend, I don't have one.
But you?
I've had hiccups for longer
than you've been my friend.
You just met me.
My friend request is still pending in your inbox.
We haven't even experienced one
Game of Throne season together.
It took Monica and Rachel so many seasons
to navigate friendship okay?
And you go and drop the L bomb
right after the opening credits?
Straight up, it's taken me longer
to catch pidges okay?
Then it's taken me to capture your love.
BRB, I need to go text
Calvin Harris the word shallow, why?
Oh because he asked ♫ How deep is your love ♫
♫ Like the ocean no? ♫
♫ And devotion no? ♫
I don't know the other words. (laughs)
These people are the insta BFFs okay?
The same people who will text you
after chillin' with you once being like,
hey boo, I miss you and I'm like, you miss me?
How do you miss me?
You don't even know what it feels like
to be with me.
It's stupid that you know what
you should be missing?
Wizards of Waverly Place okay?
Fresh Prince, Saved by the Bell.
These are things to be missed.
Obviously I don't say that though okay
and I reply saying, "Oh my God, I miss you to xo."
Because what the F, I'm play.
And if it's a hot guy,
I'm all like, "Ah that's so sweet, let's hang soon."
And if it's my ex, I'm all like,
new phone, who this. (giggles)
Number two, the Only If Friend.
So you're out chillin' with a group of friends right?
You're having a dandy time.
There's like seven of you.
Maybe you're at a group dinner.
Maybe you're at a Pokemon hunt.
Things I thought I'd never say.
Everybody's getting along.
You're making memories.
Look at you being a well developed social person.
Then you go home and go to sleep,
reminisce on all your great memories
and the next day,
friend number three from
the group friendship circleism calls you
and is all like, "Hey, do you want
"to go to a movie."
And I'm just like, what the F?
I don't know you like that.
Here's the thing right?
We all have that one friend
that like we love, I care about you,
I love spending time with you but like, not alone.
In a group setting I could chill
with you all day every day okay?
But alone?
Just you and I?
Together?
I feel like that's awkward.
That could get weird.
And to be honest,
I'm not completely convinced
you're not a serial killer.
And also, I don't know if I like you
if no one else is around.
Because I swear, I have a feeling
that you're really annoying
and just everyone else's characteristic
just kind of creates this camel effect
where you just kind of blend in
with everyone else.
I'm just like, oh, maybe just the situation
is annoyed but maybe it was you all along.
Tim, Tim, maybe you was annoying all along
and I just didn't know and I don't want
to take all that away.
You know what I mean?
And it's just you standing there Tim.
I just. (laughs)
You think I'm drunk but I'm not. (laughs)
I just feel like with some people,
our friendship is dependent on other people being there.
Like a minimum of two.
If we go to the movies, a minimum of two.
Can't be one because what if one person
goes to the washroom and then
low and behold, here we are again,
together for 90 seconds and you are
a serial killer and then you kill me
and then I'm bleeding out
and in my last breath I text my mom like,
mom, I'm going to miss you
and my mom's all like, new phone, who this?
Number three, the Instigator.
It's Monday night.
You have so much work to do.
Tomorrow morning, you have an 8 AM meeting.
You have no time to slack off okay?
So you open your laptop and you get to work
and then all of a sudden,
you get a text message
and your friends are like,
"Yo, let's go out."
And you're like, "Guy, I cannot go out."
"I have so much to do."
And your friend somehow convinces you
with their magical wizard powers
to go out for 60 minutes,
just 60 minutes of harmless fun.
Okay, that's not a long time.
So you agree because like 60 minutes,
that's like two episodes of the Simpsons
or like one episode of Dose of Lucy.
So you say fine but you're not drinking
and you're not staying out late.
Obviously because you're responsible okay?
Remember yesterday when you flossed?
You're basically an academic.
But then somehow, seven hour later
and you're stuck between a fence
and a garden gnome wreaking like Vodka and Skittles.
No not me, I'm talking about a friend.
That's what this friend does.
They instigate bad choices okay?
They convince you to go out,
they convince you to drink,
they make sure everyone's having a good time,
they call you up on like a Tuesday
or a Wednesday and F up your whole week.
They want you to eat pizza
and other oily foods and they also
chill with my ex all the time
and that's why he always drunk texting me
stupid crap like he misses me.
And you know what?
This is the best type of friend.
Yo, Frig, remember last week?
Damn, my liver still hates me.
Number four, the Cray Cray.
Can I just be completely honest right now?
Like no script.
Like this is not a joke.
I'm being absolutely serious right now.
Some of my friends are psychotic.
Because sometimes my friends will call me
and they'll genuinely tell me their problems
and tell me what they're thinking
and I'll just be sitting there like,
holy crap, you're an insane person.
Like I am baffled that you have even
integrated into society at any level to be honest.
You're co-dependent, you're awkward,
you make terrible choices but I still love you.
I have friends who call me and will complain
about their boyfriend for like 40 whole minutes
and at the end of it all,
I'll be like, "Yeah um, this sounds
like your fault you lunatic."
Or I'll have friends that will call me
and like complain and complain
about the office and I'll just be like,
"Yeah but don't you think it's kind of weird
"that you're there everyday
"even though you don't work there?"
We all have those friends that are
absolutely crazy and we know it.
We're not denying it.
We're just like, "Listen, you, you deranged person,
"I accept you and I love you as my person."
And that ladies and gentleman
was the story of me and all of my friends
because you know I swear,
people at the office,
they be pissin' me off.
Number five, Mystery Friend.
Though this one time someone came up to me
and they asked me what my really, really,
really, close friend does for a living
and I was like, "Yo, I have no idea."
"I think she's a teacher."
But then I'm like, "She might be a lawyer."
I mean don't get me wrong,
she's my friend and we're really close,
I just don't know anything about her.
Apparently, she's had a boyfriend
for six years too.
I just thought she was really close with her brother.
It's not even my fault though.
She doesn't use Twitter so she doesn't have
a Twitter bio and let's be real,
people that don't have Twitter bios
are like sketchy so, yeah.
Anyways, I don't have any more jokes
so I'm gonna go, go Canada, boobs.
Yo, hope you enjoyed that video.
If you did, please give it a thumbs up.
Comment below letting me know
are their any types of friends
that I've still not mentioned in all three
of these videos comment below let me know.
Maybe I'll make a fourth one, who knows.
You can check out my last video
right over there, it's called Voices.
It is my newest musical project
I want to thank you for supporting
that endeavour even though it wasn't comedy
and not the stuff I usually do.
Your support means so much.
My second blog channel is right over there
and you go check that out because
I just recently got a 360 camera
and I'm going to do some dope stuff in Rio.
You don't want to miss that because
if you miss that, likely you will regret it
for the rest of your life and I'm tryin'
to look out for you.
I don't want like years from now,
you're sitting in a wheelchair,
next to your other grandma friends.
It's like, "Hey, you remember that time
"when we made the 360 video?"
And you're going to be like,
"No I didn't watch it and subscribe
"to her channel."
And they're going to wheel away
because you're not the cool grandma.
I'm like, "Okay well FU Meredith."
I don't want that to happen to you.
You know what I mean?
Other than that yo,
if you haven't pre-ordered my book yet,
How To Be A Boss, then go ahead
and pre-order it now.
The link is in the description.
I would highly appreciate your support
with that as well.
But more than anything,
I want you to have a great day
because that's, let's be real,
what matters more than any of this other stupid crap.
If you want to watch my videos,
you can click the subscribe button
because I make videos every Monday and Thursday, mwah.
Love you so much and I'm not being Insta best friend.
I actually do love you.
One, love, Super Woman.
That is a wrap and zoom.
Everyday I'm hittin' puberty, every day.
Everyday I'm hittin' puberty.