put that green sauce all working you got
it baptize it we've got to come and get
a taco with uncle Joey
[Music]
I don't know how hard this this training
thing is gonna be I mean Brendan Schaub
he says he trains but I don't know he's
looking a little thick these days yeah I
mean he looks like a Mexican Where's
Waldo I'll get him back there looks
pretty legit though he's a beast
why some smoking cigarettes as I walked
up so I don't I don't know but you can't
count those guys out man
it's like I don't give a [ __ ] attitude
you know running like this for writs I
mean yeah I know he you know was in the
UFC and trained and can do all that
stuff I don't know I think I got him
easy I'll smoke his ass back in the day
I think 300 pounds I was see he was 300
pounds so did some work it took a lot of
nicotine and some discipline to get down
to the lean mean fighting machine he is
now coming down yeah I just wonder way
and they be doing Wonder Bread I usually
come here about once or twice a week
because I ride my bike and now you see
my that peloton yeah I seen just killing
it on there just call you a bunny thick
at me what's up
well I'm on that peloton every day and
then just to mix it up I come out here
cuz I look close yeah I run these hills
that's that football UFC training well
and that's why I'm here I want to train
with you I think I can keep up eyes
mouth back I think I'm gonna smoke you
oh wow yeah yeah yeah well you look like
the guy that thinks he would smoke a guy
like me for sure yeah oh really about
this what about it dude this is a
retired goalie outfit you got on retired
goal do you look like it came straight
from the moms of Calabasas workout
department yeah it's a book club but
it's a yeah I guess sometimes you know
hopefully it helps you manage it so what
we do we run these hills okay nice man
we'll see I mean you get to and then
we're gonna meet up with Joey Diaz we're
gonna replenish with some tacos okay I
like that part but I don't know about
this go for ten now you can take a smoke
halfway through and keep going I'm up
okay ready Sandler side come on make
students earn them tacos baby you wanted
the queso come on brother remember let's
just one a 10-8 soups keep it up
Oh such a steep incline Johnny's got a
power to do it oh boy first I get you
yeah my ass cheeks are fine we should
mix hot ones in this and run up while
eating spicy wings swell [ __ ] our pants
at the end installed the real hot one oh
I'm just spitballing I'm just
brainstorming ideas for complex here you
know the Kardashians live out here
all right so I like to think like
Kendall staring through a window right
now like what are those guys doing
look at that Sun like it motivates
Hannah look at that thick Kylie me like
look that's too thick he's doing it
let's do it all right Charlie Hulme he's
so much happier when eating these tacos
no you've already burned them off you're
playing with house money maybe get two
churros maybe deep throat - Charles -
you've earned it today can I just say
whoever came up with these little water
bottles from the bottom of my heart
[ __ ] you who is this for yeah even
little kids go is this for babies not
even dude okay this is not good still
thirsty but thank you for taking it easy
on me well I'm gonna talk with buddy no
no no I can't end it like that I'm gonna
give you an out we'll do a quick circuit
you get through that and then you're in
the taco come on like The Andy Griffith
Show no no no we do a quick circuit hear
me out you got it in that case Oh bro
all right all right
that tamale okay we're doing this for
the show Molly come on Italian come on
okay
what is this like GI gentian yeah it's
gonna get me that's a picture bug don't
be like the curtains get out and give me
15 three oh [ __ ] dude that's it Hey
how many was that - god damn it hey
suits and now you got 25 jumping jacks
like you're back in elementary school
you're that fat kid who wants laugh at
your titties not anymore
went from double D's the nice seat cup
let's do it alright here we go you're
hitting it what yeah what was your I met
your school mascot broken though huh
squeeze your husky oh yeah yeah bro like
my pants ah yeah [ __ ] yeah dude
husky up dude alright brother well you
got through it I mean yeah I did you
know you've already managed to eat tacos
uncle Joey let's do it I can't wait I
want tell uncle Joey the [ __ ] you
did of me out here I have to do it for
you
it's like a bottle of fabuloso on wheels
don't let the rumble scare you now me
sneezing cars get tacos
don't be scared don't be scared baby boy
like that yeah that's crazy
hey goes I got ten bucks can I pull this
over did I'm telling right now if he
wasn't there maybe like fast and furious
you're Vin Diesel your ball right in
diesel Vin Diesel mom like an alley cat
there's a rock
4.7 second car I live my life one time
okay to say that's bloodsport my
feelings
yeah when you get your belt on is that
cops no no
[Music]
125
[Music]
uncle Joey hey what's up brother how is
it jumping jacks
twenty thousand [ __ ] trainers you
want to go hang out with Tarzan well I
see him record his workouts on his
Instagram all the time like man he goes
hard yeah I see rock do Louise - you
don't say how you doing I'm great thank
you for being here thank you for a
second because I live close to here
uh-huh
this is Mike the go spot another pinch
huh how do you think well I can't go to
message I got no passport but the car
need is a good I like the vegan ball
okay I thought I thought this was the
side for tacos no no that's the vegan
ball I got three ounces of rice some
refried beans and you're good for the
day a little hard on the plants now
doing oh yeah you gotta sell me broccoli
get the [ __ ] outta with the vegan boy
they cancel out who gives a [ __ ] how
could you work out today I've been
lifting for 16 months
I do deadlifts I do compound components
all the pull-downs bench dips heavy
heavy squats the three minutes right and
it's part of who we are as a comic now
right you know it's not accepted you
don't hear about comics getting drunk at
comedy clubs no more no those days over
I still remember vividly going on the
road with Joe Rogan uh-huh and him
calling me up and going come to my room
we're gonna go work out and me going
work out we're on the road but it's how
long does that junk this had to be 20
years ago and 20 years I'm like what
work it out I'm recovering from the coke
party I had last night and I still
remember going and working out with him
thinking he was crazy
my love for Tommy was so huge but I skip
working out Wow
I started smoking cigarettes I got it
for 400 18 pounds how many pounds have
you lost since I'm down the 288 Wow then
I joined jujitsu and jujitsu turn my
life around
because it really let me know how bad is
shape I really was it like when you
submit somebody judge it and you get
that person that kind of tap is it is it
does it come close to being able to
light somebody up like even if you're
just in a row sort circle I'm saying
Lisa in jiu-jitsu you're both under the
same rules where it's like we're we're
rolling we're riding this game in comedy
if there's like a heckler he gets
roasted like do people pay money to hear
this dude speak right so you have to
wipe out in the crowd
yelling out to the black belt like what
the Flex thing is gonna have yeah all
day for me
I've never submitted anybody I tapped
one guy by mistake cuz I put my ass in
his face I got a Kimora we're at such a
bad heckler I got a little story for you
yeah in 1998 I was doing a triple run I
get to this bar I'm eating a bag of
dicks you know it's a triple run that
happened me and I tell the guy go [ __ ]
yourself get him out and they throw him
out Oh week goes by I came back to Idaho
Springs I go to the mall I'm broke I
mean those that Chinese [ __ ] you know
from the mall what's that Chinese from
the mall and Express I got the tray I'm
at a table I mean guess who comes up to
me the two [ __ ] idiots that what
happened me the week before and they're
like hey man you don't look so tough
sitting there now and I go well you guys
really want a problem and they forget
like I'm [ __ ] Jersey they forget you
really want to [ __ ] a credential bro and
then go yeah we want to [ __ ] fight
this I go let me finish my food and they
go [ __ ] your food and I still had the
egg roll and some rice and I got up and
I go let's go outside [ __ ] they
actually turn their heads to me
they actually turned their backs to me
so I took the tray with the Chinese food
and I blasted the [ __ ] in the
head the eggroll exploded I kept hitting
them with the tray I kicked them a few
times and then I walked out of them are
like nothing happened I got my car
securely jumped me they threw me in jail
and Idaho Falls and I got bailed out at
five to nine
I made the show I had to pay triple back
the bail money and I still got a warrant
and Idaho Falls today just suck my dick
wasn't at idle I know you guys have
strong opinions when it comes to food
and I have a list of tweets I'm gonna
run by you guys I would love for you
guys to weigh in on it and give me your
take so first one Vince staples my
sister in this restaurant cutting a hot
wing I wish I never got money oh hell no
so he said he's in his restaurant and
his sister is a how each other when you
guys think of that blue cheese or [ __ ]
your mother Mary I'm [ __ ] with somebody
and they act incorrectly while we're
eating wings I just get up and leave
them there banned people from eating
ranch at my table hummus jelly like
grape jelly on your toast like people
put jelly on their toes and toes and
I'll have to sit at my table next one
post Malone if someone offers you a
mozzarella stick and you turn it down
you're a narc I like a nice mozzarella
stick myself I stop the muscle always
sticks when I was 13 telling a
mozzarella stick you mugs will get a hat
with a propeller on it go who eats
[ __ ] but Sorella who leaves the house
going tonight I'm gonna eat bunch of
rubbish things all right so we got
another one
t-pain says I can never trust the
restaurant that's more than one
restaurant
KFC / taco ball get it together I'm
afraid to order a chicken taco from
where how do you feel about restaurants
that kind of have that do my will you
gotta pick a flag yeah now if it's
Chinese and sushi I don't go in there
yeah you got a pickle flats like a sham
if I go to a Chinese place I see curry
on the menu I'm out because you might
put the wrong recipe yeah yeah they'll
kill you if you put [ __ ] Terry and my
garlic shrimp
I will [ __ ] go back then do the
News are you doing that Tarzan it's all
gonna work out don't worry about them ah
[ __ ] that's B's old [ __ ]
well yeah hey thank you guys so much I
really had a great time thank you so
much for your time I really love you
like a man appreciate you oh god I'm
[ __ ] [ __ ] white hand speed is still
tremendous don't get me wrong
did you see that I got a 1/4 Rican style
[ __ ] around
I had [ __ ] big problems with flies
hey what's going on everybody for first
we feast I'm Sean Evans and you're
watching hot ones it's the show with hot
questions and even hotter tacos tacos
bro hey Suz Trejo is in the building
tacos con todo a new show on first we
feast Tuesdays at 11 a.m. this is the
initiation a last dab taco oh yeah hey
Suz Trejo
welcome to the family mom thanks ma'am
this is gonna hurt tomorrow