- It's either like a toe falling off or like a leaky penis.
(whimsical music)
- Hi, my name is Michelle Stevenson
and I've been an LVN for nine years.
I worked at a community hospital for years.
I had a patient in the ER and he was yelling in pain.
He was yelling up and down my emergency room,
like just got out of his room,
and like with the biggest boner ever I've seen and he goes,
"What am I gonna do with this dick?"
And I was, "Put it away."
But I said it in my mind, (laughs) right?
He ended up, he had a penile fracture.
Penile fracture refers to traumatic rupture
of the tunica albuginea and the corpora cavernosa,
so it requires urological surgery,
and there's no bone in there, but he like really broke it.
It was like, there's always a curve that women can handle,
like we're going somewhere.
He was going in a different direction,
because he decided to do cocaine and Viagra. (laughs)
- [Producer] At the same time!?
- Yeah, don't do coke and Viagra.
Please, it's not what you think it's gonna be.
You think it's gonna be an endless party,
but it's always a urological surgery for a man in his 60s.
- One time, I was accused of stealing a body.
(record scratches)
Hi, my name is Doni, I've been a nurse for 14 years.
16, sorry, 16 years.
We're doing training for the new residents
and the new nurses,
so we typically have this life-size mannequin,
it's a great high-fidelity mannequin.
It can cry, it can sweat, it can tear up,
the throat closes if it has an allergy.
It's so realistic that I was moving the body,
I mean, not the body, but the mannequin's body in a gurney
and was rolling it out of the hospital
and somebody called 911.
Next thing you know, security was running for me
thinking I was stealing a body.
Yeah, I took the white sheet out of the mannequin like,
"Look, it's not an actual patient, please uncuff me."
No, they didn't handcuff me, but they were about to.
I was like, "No, look, it's an actual mannequin,
"it just looks so real."
So, pro-tip for future nurses:
if you're gonna take a mannequin out,
don't cover its head thinking that you're hiding it.
People will just think it's a dead body.
- Hi, my name is Kat, I've been a nurse for four years,
I actually work in the ER.
So one time I had a patient come in by ambulance
and the chief complaint was, you know,
found down, weakness.
And so you go in there and there's that smell again,
you're just like, (exhales)
smells like there was a code brown, maybe?
So code browns are obviously a play on a code blue.
A code blue is a very serious, you know,
someone not breathing, someone you have to resuscitate,
but a code brown is a little more playful.
It's basically when someone has a bowel movement
and then you have to clean them up
and so you kinda just like announce it
'cause you don't ever want to say like,
"Hey, bed three pooped."
You just say, "Hey, bed three had a code brown"
and then everyone kind of just is like, "Oh."
So anyways, I was like hey, Joey, Christian,
like I have a run in room 17, I'll be right in there,
like could you help me out?
So I go in there, and they're already cleaning him up,
and I was like, oh my gosh, lemme go get some supplies,
lemme get more towels, like let me get the soap.
I kinda take like a little longer than I probably should've
'cause there's already supplies in the room,
I was just getting extra supplies.
And so I was just like, I got a mask for myself,
I put like a little essential oils in there,
put that on, I gowned up, it's called a PPE,
it's 'cause I don't wanna get poop on me.
They did not have PPEs in the room.
So I go in the room and I'm like,
"Hey, what else do you guys need?"
And they're like, "Kat, he's already cleaned up."
And I was like oh, (claps) you guys, thank you!
And the patient was really very friendly,
and he even laughed, he was like, "It took you a long time."
And I was like, (laughs) "Oh my god."
(claps) My own patient called me out!
So then obviously when you do favors for favors,
like of course the rest of the day
they're literally giving me shit the whole day.
Those situations become stories you just tell forever.
- Hi, my name's Courtney, I've been a nurse for four years.
I'm doing like a routine dressing change
on this patient's foot.
Any time you have peripheral vascular disease,
so poor circulation, diabetes,
and just honestly with old age,
you know, we lose circulation.
I think this patient also had a multitude of issues.
At this point, the toes are necrotic,
which mean they're black, it's not viable tissue.
We're pretty much just trying to stop decay,
we're not gonna really heal the feet,
'cause it wasn't just one toe,
it was like all the toes were black.
So I'm just unwrapping the gauze,
'cause it had a bunch of gauze.
As I'm taking it off,
and the family was in the room too, I'm taking it off,
and part of the gauze like pulls a piece of the toenail
and the tip of the toe,
and it's one of those moments where again,
you're like, as a nurse, I can't really say anything
or make any reactions,
and so I just quickly kinda like held the toe,
kept it in place, like pulled off the gauze,
and I was like, "Oh my gosh."
I feel like this is horrible,
but I honestly thought of like a zombie movie
where like limbs are falling off
and you know, (laughs) it's like,
okay, this definitely is not the expected reaction
when I'm doing a dressing change,
especially 'cause like the toenail was coming with it,
that was just the worst part.
I honestly just like put it back
kind of where it was supposed to go (laughs)
and continued with the dressing change.
Nursing, you know, you gotta expect the unexpected,
but at the end of the day I love what I do,
I get to care for people, and it's honestly a passion.
(whimsical music)