ren & stimpy fire-dogs
okay making a Ren & Stimpy game that's
worthy the TV show is a tall order the
show was like Looney Tunes on crack it
was like they took the Three Stooges but
just Moe and Larry made Larry a cat and
made Moe a psychopathic Chihuahua and
gave him a voice like Peter Lorre
specifically from his ran at the end of
The Maltese Falcon it was ingenious the
show was so crazy that when it was on in
the 90s I'd even know what to make of it
do the games hold up that's a whole
other story there were for them on the
Super NES time warp idiots buckaroos and
fire dogs these games actually made a
good attempt at capturing the random
humor from the show and the graphics and
animation are spot-on
you take ren for example who on the show
is a flexible character of a thousand
facial expressions and body shapes they
could have taken him in any direction
and gone off in a completely different
tangent but the looks they gave him are
just like the looks you see on him in
the show unfortunately every one of
these games is plagued with flaws that
ruin the experience whether it be a
fence that won't cooperate or taking a
million slaps to defeat a dog slapping
the dog slapping a dog
the fire dogs game is loosely based on a
specific episode of the show here in the
game you take control of Stimpy and have
to collect firefighting equipment and
bring it all back to the fire engine you
know all the ordinary firefighting
equipment like a helmet boots hose a
beaver
you know Ren sits it out and does
nothing to help again the humor has
spot-on so you have to run around the
place sliding up fire poles yes sliding
up fire poles the firefighters
apparently don't want any of your help
at all if you run into these guys it's
over they pound you one hit and you have
to start all over again
you can pick up fire extinguishers and
if one of these guys is in your way or
you get trapped in a corner you can give
them a squirt to stun them but it
doesn't last long at all it only gives
you one brief moment to get past them
come on come on spread the firefighter
with the fire extinguisher come on
bungling one no come on come on come on
come on wrong way wrong way
aah come on the only practical way to
get around the firefighters is to find
Dalmatian paint which actually follows
the show in the episode Ren and Stimpy
are looking for food and shelter so they
apply to be fire dogs that could stay in
the fire department but the fire
department only takes Dalmatian so they
have to disguise themselves in Dalmatian
paint the fire extinguishers and paint
cans are always in different places
every time you restart the game so you
have to get lucky and if you walk under
the water sprinklers it washes the paint
off the items that you need to collect
to bring back to the fire engine are all
in fixed locations but even if you get
good at it and know where all them are
there's nothing you can do about the
time limit
this is the fatal flaw it gives you
barely enough time even if you're
running all the way it's only the first
stage but it's going to take lots of
trial and error and a lot of luck you
have to do it all in one session too
once the timer runs out everything
starts over you'd think there'd be an
item that gives you some time back but
I've never found any such thing waiting
for the water sprinklers always slows
you down and for some reason I'm having
lots of trouble with the stairs but get
down the stairs down the stairs come on
and when you get back to the fire engine
you have to stand in a specific spot for
each item and select them one at a time
why does everything have to be so
tedious you only get two minutes and 14
seconds to do everything then you have
to find Ren and collect kitty litter
while the timer is still ticking down
but thankfully this part is just a bonus
then you go to the next stage where Ren
and Stimpy are using a life net to save
people from the burning buildings but
wait it's not people it's just a bunch
of clocks and wagons books sculpture bus
TVs chickens and bricks what the
going on up there who's dropping this
where'd they get so many anyway
this goes on for four minutes 50 seconds
and then the game ends well I didn't
save enough bricks and clocks I didn't
miss that many so I'm assuming you have
to have a 100% accuracy I don't know the
game in the words of mr. horse no
sir I don't like it