- This video is being made solely at your request.
There's a lot of things
that shouldn't be happening in this video.
And this is a Hollywood production set.
So I'm hoping that proper medical care was given afterwards,
at the very least.
It's gonna get rough, it's gonna get weird,
but we're gonna react to it.
Peewoop.
- [Cameraman] What are you gonna be doing today?
- Hit somebody in the nuts.
- [Johnny] Francis hits harder than any
heavyweight in the MMA.
- Like I've been hit by Ryan Garcia
but Ryan Garcia is like 140, 150 pounds.
This gentleman is like 200, 200 plus.
- No, I told Ehren it was a lightweight.
(people laughing)
I didn't tell him it was a heavyweight.
Jeff and I forgot to mention that.
- That's not a fucking lightweight.
(everyone laughing)
What are you talking about?
What, no!
- This is the cup test.
- Before he punches, this is gonna be brutal to watch.
The painful area is the testicular area.
That will get you nauseous.
That will be terrible.
If he hits with an upper cut
that can trap the testicle against the pubic bone.
It can actually cause a testicular rupture.
I hope that's not what happens.
(punch hits)
Oh my God!
- [Johnny] Is that the hardest you've ever hit someone
in the ding ding?
- [Francis] Oh yeah.
- Forget about the pressure on the general area.
The cup actually going into the bones there,
the sides of the plastic cup.
- And this is the softball test.
- Let's do it.
- Play ball!
- Wow, the accuracy on that.
I mean, this can cause you to become infertile.
This is not a fun game for anyone to play.
You could actually get,
develop a hematoma in this area,
that is a surgical emergency.
- Here we are at some random ass ranch
and this is the brand.
- [Man] You ready?
- Oh no.
Why do they do this- with a peen?
Please tell me, they're gonna disinfect the skin.
- Clean him up.
- Move, move, move.
- Oh, that's not really-
Disinfecting doesn't mean wiping with a dirty towel.
(Bam screaming)
- He did it twice.
(Bam screaming)
- [Bam] Oh fuck.
(Bam screams loudly) - Oh my god.
Those are some serious burns there,
'cause he burned past the epidermis.
He's in the dermal layer there.
When you have serious burns throughout your entire body,
the biggest risk is dehydration
because your skin isn't able to maintain
the moisture of your body.
You have electrolyte disturbances
and hydrating the patient
and constantly checking those electrolytes
is of utmost importance.
- [Bam's Mother] What am I looking at?
What am I looking at?
- They gave me a dick farm on my ass.
- Oh my god! - Oh, that looks infected.
That needs oral antibiotics.
- You're gonna have that for life.
- No shi-
- If you're having fun watching this reaction,
you're gonna have fun watching me on stage,
going to these four cities, Boston, Philly, DC,
Red Bank, New Jersey.
Click down below for tickets.
All right, let's get back to Jackass.
- Today, I'm gonna treat myself to some wasabi snooters.
- Oh, I remember watching this.
This is old.
By the way, wasabi in the U.S is usually just horseradish
that's been dye green,
and the reason that it kind of makes you tear up
and it affects your nostrils,
is because it's smaller than the capsaicin molecules
that normally trigger the spiciness on your tongue.
So, it actually gets up into your nose.
(snorting loudly)
- I just had sushi too, so this makes it so much worse.
Aw, he throws up!
- So what we're gonna do is extract Ehren's crooked tooth,
and then we're gonna replant it,
just like you would a tree.
- No, that's not how it works though.
- I'm Danger Ehren.
And this is the Lamborghini tooth pull.
- Oh no.
One, you could not pull the tooth out correctly.
And if there's there, the tooth can crack.
You could actually pull the tooth out so much so,
that you could damage the bone
that the tooth is attached to,
or you could sever the gum.
And when you sever the gum,
you're just gonna have crazy bleeding.
- Are you stoked?
- Uh-huh.
- I hope it's loose already.
(Lamborghini revving)
- Yeah.
(tooth pops)
(cheering)
- That sounded like it was a healthy tooth.
Why did they pull out a healthy tooth?
- [Ehren] I wish I could say that didn't suck.
- That was worse than the Tom Hanks scene from "Cast Away".
- A lot of doctors, they think they're God, you know?
Not me.
- Yeah, 'cause you got a four year old stethoscope
around your neck, champ.
- For our next challenge, our friend Jules here,
is gonna help Poopies kiss this deadly Viper.
What kind of snake is it?
Venomous?
- Eh.
- I hate when people say, eh.
I asked that to the person,
the animal keeper at the last place I was at.
I was like, is it venomous?
He's like, "yeah, the venom is like an ant bite."
I was like, "what does that mean?"
- [Man] Give him a kiss.
- [Jules] Move your head.
- [Johnny] Closer, closer.
(snake hisses)
- Oh! (screams)
Okay, snakes don't have rabies.
They're not like bats, but they do have tetanus.
You can get a tooth stuck in you because it dislodges.
- Confidence is very, very high
with our third contestant, Steve-O
for the skateboard guillotine.
(guillotine thuds)
- Where's that gonna fall.
I hope not on his neck.
(Mike exclaims loudly)
Shin bone?
- On three.
(skateboard thuds loudly)
(Steve-O screams) (Doctor Mike screams)
- Oh my god.
Shin's getting hit like that.
So many nerve endings firing.
Bad memories from TaeKwonDo when I was younger.
Oh my God.
Shin to shin contact.
- I'm Butterbean. - Oh, Butterbean.
- Today we're gonna do a little boxing.
- Oh, okay.
A little boxing action, I'll take it.
- [Man] Touch gloves and come out fighting.
(bell rings)
- I love that he has a mobile bell.
(Punches thuds)
Oh bad form.
- Bad form- no punching to the back of the head.
That's the occipital region.
- [Butterbean] Hit me once, at least.
There you go.
(men punching)
- Oh my God.
All right, that second hit is the most dangerous hit
because at point you're not protected.
You have no muscle tone.
You're just completely flacid.
That allows more of that ricochet feeling.
Oh, I think he hit his head on one of the counters.
- I don't know.
Apparently I have a big gash
in my head and I think I'm a little concussed.
- Well, a big gash in the head,
surprisingly, isn't usually fixed by sutures.
It's fixed by staples, that's right.
We have a special staple gun that instead of
pushing down the staples, it kind of wraps the staples
around your skin and then to remove it,
we just kind of fold the staple outwards.
- This is super mighty glue.
Who's got tummy hair?
- Not me.
- Are they gonna wax him?
- No, I think, I think this is gonna work.
- All right, you ready?
- [Woman] No, oh my God!
- And he's putting pressure on.
First of all, spoiler alert:
They're not gonna be able to pull these hands off
and it's not gonna just pull the hair off with him.
This is potential skin tearing.
Thank God they're not older.
'Cause older patients will tear their skin off.
(everyone cheering)
Oh, maybe they did take off the hairs.
They exfoliated the gentleman's chest.
- Somebody go get me the stun gun.
- No!
- Look at his skin tearing.
Look at his skin tearing.
(Doctor Mike screams)
(men screaming)
- Look at my fucking nipple!
(Doctor Mike Laughing)
- I did not expect that, did he know?
Good job?
What did he, he just got into a car accident
and going from whatever miles per hour
he was driving to zero is actually the most dangerous
because that inertia will keep your organs moving,
keep your brain moving, so that they hit
against your chest wall.
You get some serious blunt force trauma that way.
- This is electric avenue.
Are those tasers?
- [Man] Each one of these Stu guns has 950,000 volts.
- That's a lot of volts.
And also, they're like quick touches
as opposed to sustained pressures.
Ah, police issued stun guns or tasers have 50,000 volts.
And the ones that have been tested by police
they can become problematic when you're already
on other substances or
if you have an existing heart condition.
But generally the purpose of them
is to overwhelm your central nervous system
so much so that you have no control and you go limp
and you could actually be subdued.
- And we found a leech healer
and these boys need a little healing.
Let's see what they can do for my eyeball.
- Like if I was to vote on the worst place to put a leech
it would probably be your eyeball.
Leeches bite.
That's how they're actually able to suck blood.
They have chemicals in there that actually
prevent coagulation of blood so that they can
keep draining you of blood.
Some of them can be beneficial
in patients who have a clotting disorder
in patients who have a lot of inflammation
but the eye is not the place where you want that to happen.
Oh my God, just- he's gonna start bleeding into his eye.
This is terrible.
Corneal abrasions.
So many problems can happen
if it's not a regulated leech.
This is terrible.
You scratch your cornea.
That requires like instant treatment.
Otherwise it can become problematic.
You could actually start bleeding
into your eye creating like a little pocket of bleeding.
And that's just not an area where you want
pressure to build up because that could very quickly
start affecting your vision and potentially permanently.
- This is the butt chug.
- I already don't like it.
I don't like a funnel.
Oh, now he's doing the-
Enema with alcohol.
- Oh, open wide.
- You know what's- like, they're laughing at this
but this is actually a real problem.
'Cause you get drunk quicker.
And it's actually really problematic for two reasons.
First, is that you lose the first pass metabolism
of the alcohol.
When you drink, your liver is able to clean it out
before it starts going to your bloodstream.
If you over-enema yourself with too much alcohol,
you can't vomit.
And you could actually cause severe,
severe alcohol intoxication.
18 year olds in college parties have done this
and ended up having lethal seizures.
It's really problematic.
- How many bee stings do you think we can take?
- I think it takes about a hundred to kill man.
- That is not accurate.
The official number is like 10 per pound of body weight.
So like the average human can take over,
like, a thousand stings and be okay.
Also that's keeping in mind if you're not allergic.
Like, if you have severe anaphylactic attacks to bee stings
it's gonna take much less than that.
- Got a butt-ton of bees!
- That's just mean to the bees too.
- This is beehive tetherball.
(men screaming)
- [Man] I can't do it anymore!
Please put me somewhere where there's no bees.
- [Man] It's a carbon dioxide.
- Dave doesn't understand, is that the more you freak out,
the more you get stung, idiot.
- Both of you are idiots, my friend.
- I'm wee-man.
And this is the triple wedgie
(man counting down)
- Oh this is not gonna be good.
This is not gonna be good.
Oh my God.
The perineum, the area between the testicular region
and the anus is particularly sensitive to injury.
And if it does get cut,
you're gonna get a mean infection there.
That's an area you don't want an infection.
- [Man] A little angel hanging in the air.
- Not doctor approved.
- Look at the reservoir tip.
- At least he knows what the reservoir tip is.
The area that we allow semen to go into,
so it doesn't pop the condom.
- I'm lubing up the little toy car.
- What is he gonna do with the car?
- Because I'm going to put it in my butt.
- Why though?
- [Man] Are you gonna watch this?
You're making me uncomfortable.
- What is the purpose of the stethoscope?
You're gonna listen to the butt?
You know how many patients do this
and then lose the object inside of them
and then have to come into the hospital to get like,
an emergency colonoscopy or a flexible SIG.
- I was partying last night with some frat guys.
I passed out.
I must have fallen down and broken something
'cause I hadn't been able to walk right since.
- [Doctor] We're gonna take x-ray now, to be sure.
- First of all, no good doctor will ever do an x-ray
without doing a proper physical exam.
(Doctor Mike laughing) - Her face!
(Doctor speaks foreign language)
- [Man] I would've known if I ate that.
- [Doctor] No, you, you wouldn't be able to swallow that.
- [Man] How did a car toy get there?
- [Doctor] Maybe you stuck up your ass.
- [Man] I didn't stick anything up my ass.
- [Videographer] Have you ever seen anything like?
- No, I never seen that in there.
You don't tell nobody, all right?
He already knows.
That's too many people.
- I appreciate it.
- What is this doctor's advice?
Oh my God.
Is he getting bees thrown on him?
- [Ehren] And you're putting honey on me and salmon!
(Doctor Mike gasps)
- [Man On Speakerphone] Talk to it, Ehren.
Try to calm him down, oh no.
It's going for the salmon, oh no.
- Did he consent to this?
- [Man On Speakerphone] Mr. Bear, eat that dick.
(everyone laughing)
- Do I need to say that that's not medically safe?
- [Videographer] A little different than Bear, your Bear.
- Yeah, Bear, come here.
This is what a nice bear feels like.
Bear, do I taste like honey and salmon?
Emotional support complete.
- I am Johnny, the magnificent.
Today, I'm going to wow you with my supreme skills
of prestidigitation.
(bull charging)
(Doctor Mike gasps)
- That's a hamstring tear.
Did he get a concussion?
- [Man Narrator] He didn't even mess around dude.
He turned around and just nailed him.
- Wow, what hit first?
What hit first here?
Oh, see, it's that hit of the head onto the floor
that really knocked him out.
So, looks like he has a broken arm.
- [Man Filming] Hi, hello there.
- [Man In Wheelchair] How are you?
- [Man Filming] Good, what's new?
- Clavicle, maybe?
- [Man In Wheelchair] Broken wrist, broken rib, concussion.
But I was supposed to pour the milk in the hat
and then put the hat back on and no milk come out.
Did milk come out?
- [Man Filming] There's some milk on the-
Aw, shit!
- Painful to watch.
But you know what's more painful?
These painful medical devices.
I cannot believe some of these were actually
approved for use.
Click here to check that out
and as always, stay happy and healthy?
(upbeat music)