So, look at this.
This is a study that just came out.
Women who are funny at work are taken less seriously.
The study says that when men use humor, it helps them.
But when women use humor, it hurts them.
It doesn't hurt them as much as being a woman, but still.
There are professionals and professions out there
that you don't want to be funny.
And it doesn't matter, it's both genders.
Like, nobody wants a funny surgeon.
Like, you know, hey, I got your nose.
But I'll sew it back on.
But women get penalized for being funny.
It's just an example of how hard it is
to find an acceptable balance.
Because we have to be confident, but not too assertive.
We have to be strong, but not overpowering.
We can make money, but only 80% of what men make.
When I started this show, there were so many rules that I had.
I had to dress a certain way.
It couldn't be too gay.
I had to be sober.
But I am happy to say, 16 seasons in,
I am doing this show.
I dress how I want, I'm super gay,
and drunk as a skunk right now.
[APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER]
Which one was that for?
Me being drunk, I think.
If there's a problem with us being funny,
it's not a problem with us.
It's a problem with the people who are threatened
by women being funny.
Obviously, that's not a funny statement,
but imagine it being said by a man.
I have always encouraged women on my staff to be funny,
and they are.
And my producer Mary, she has a hilarious rash.
Hilarious, Her rash is like that Baby Shark song.
It just won't go away.
Now the song is in my head again.
Anyway, I thought I would bring out
a few women to tell some jokes.
And she has a new digital series on Ellentube,
called A Decent Proposal.
Please welcome Hannah Hart.
[APPLAUSE]
Hi.
How are you?
Nice to meet you.
You're on my mark.
Get off my mark.
OK, there you go.
There.
That's me and Andy from a while ago.
OK, Hannah, what's your joke?
What would Dory say if she was a hairdresser?
I don't know.
What would Dory say if she was a hairdresser?
Just keep trimming.
Oh.
OK.
I'm not sure that's helping prove my point.
From the new Avengers movie, please welcome Brie Larson.
[CHEERING]
Hi.
Hi, Brie.
Hi.
Tell us a joke.
Oh, no problem, got this.
Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?
Why does Snoop Dogg dog carry it?
You just say it.
I'm sorry.
I just messed your joke up.
Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?
Oh drizzle.
That's not the right delivery.
You know that.
Fo drizzle.
I'm sorry.
I was really taken aback.
I didn't know that was my joke.
Fo drizzle.
Yeah, but you had to say it like, fo drizzle.
Fo drizzle.
Yeah, that's right.
Thanks, Brie.
And finally, from the new Avengers movie,
Scarlett Johansson.
[CHEERING]
Hello.
Hi.
Hello.
Hi.
All right, here we are.
OK.
OK take it away.
Hit me with a zinger.
OK, why did Ellen's producer Mary take so long
to pick out an ointment?
I don't know.
Because she didn't want to make a rash decision.
A rash decision.
I got it, because she has a rash.
Wonderful.
Ladies.
Give it up for Scarlett, Brie, and Hannah everybody.
[APPLAUSE]
Thank you so much.
All right.
Thank you very much.
Get out of here.