I’ve been drawn to coming-of-age stories since...well, since I started coming of age.
As a kid, they offered varied looks at the struggles I found myself going through—namely
the awkwardness and unsuredness that comes from stepping out the warm comforts of childhood
and into the unknown.
I saw my life and the lives of my friends reflected in these kinds of stories, giving
me a greater understanding that the decisions we made back then would influence the types
of people we might become and pressuring me to decide if I should lean into that or run
as far from some potential future as possible.
Stories about growing up made me feel less alone.
Growing up is beautiful and tragic, and it leaves a mark on everyone who experiences
it, which is why I think these stories are relevant to people even well after they have
come of age: we all share in the joys and dissatisfactions that come from shedding your
layer of innocence and becoming a more permanent version of yourself.
A version of yourself that is different from who everyone else thought you would become;
from who you thought you would become.
A version that, for this reason, is in some way a disappointment.
And now that I have gotten a little dark here, you are probably wondering, “When is he
gonna talk about a goddamn video games?”
The answer is now.
With improvements in technology and increased standards in what players look for in a narrative,
coming-of-age stories have become more and more prominent in the videogame scene.
The different tools at game developers disposal allow them to bring these stories to life
in ways that books and films really can’t.
From giving players choices that influence the story to simply controlling the movements
of a character, games have the ability to blur the line between a player and protagonist,
allowing them to viscerally simulate the tumultuous experience of growing up that its counterparts
can’t really replicate.
There have been loads of great titles, especially indie ones, that center on these journeys
of self-discovery and growing up, but I want to focus on one game in particular that has
stuck with me because of how powerfully it deals with the fear of becoming someone no
one wants you to be: 2018’s God of War.
At the heart of God of War are two intertwined character arcs: a tale of redemption for Kratos
and a coming-of-age story for Atreus.
This kind of set up has gotten a lot of play recently, and I think it is because of how
well these two narrative threads link together.
On one hand there is the character with a bright and open future, taking those first
steps into growing up, and on the other there is the character with a dark past, who has
the nearly impossible task of leaving the pain and the guilt from it behind.
From the onset of this God of War, it is clear that the last thing Kratos wants is for Atreus
to become him.
To be fuelled purely by revenge and destructive rage.
Atreus is an extremely likable character.
He’s clever, kind, funny, and genuinely helpful from a gameplay perspective, all of
which lead me to want the best for him, sharing in the same fears Kratos has about his future.
I found myself feeling protective over the boy.
When playing, I wanted to keep his sense of wonder intact; the same wonder he showed when
seeing the marvels of Midgard.
I appreciated the kindness he displayed to every stranger we came across, and I hoped
he would never lose that.
So, when Atreus finds out he is a god, and starts acting flippantly about the world around
him and maliciously to those who considered him a friend, I was disappointed in him, and
I started worrying about where it might lead.
And when he eventually did learn the error of his ways and try to repent for what he
did, I felt a sense of relief, being able to believe in the pureness of my boy again.
This is the part where I spoil the entire game.
To me, what makes God of War such a powerful, true-to-life coming-of-age story is that,
at the end of the game, after a climactic scene where Kratos assures Atreus and the
player that the boy will turn out okay, a single line calls all of that into question,
playing on the fears Kratos and the player hold about Atreus’ future.
[Loki Dialogue]
This reveal comes with a lot of baggage because anyone even mildly familiar with any of Loki’s
representations, know that he is an asshole.
For a lot of people, especially those outside of Europe where Norse Mythology is less likely
to be taught in school, their perception of Loki probably comes from Marvel.
Me being in that camp, the reveal worried me because it went directly against what I
wanted for Atreus’ future.
Loki is an incredibly interesting and deep character in the Marvel films and comics,
but I didn’t want Atreus, a certified good lad to become anything other than a good lad.
With that said, while Marvel does draw from the original Norse Mythology, all-in-all that
version of Loki is an entirely different and separate character.
So, I read Neil Gaiman's Norse Mythology to gain more context on what Atreus' transformation
into Loki might actually mean (which, by the way, if you have any interest in the Norse
pantheon, I would highly recommend this book because the stories are fascinating and Neil
Gaiman’s writing is impeccable), and amazingly, it made me feel even worse about Atreus’
future.
In the myths, Loki constantly tested his tenuous relationship with the other gods, and eventually
pushed things too far.
So they tracked Loki down, captured him, and turned one of his sons into a feral wolf who
then ripped his other son to shreds.
The gods then proceeded to tie Loki to a stone with his son’s entrails which became unbreakable
bonds.
And if that weren’t enough, they hung a venomous snake that dripped acid on his face,
all but forcing his wife to stand over him with a bowl so that the only time he’d get
acid on him was when she needed to empty it.
This is said to go on until Ragnarok happens, which foretells Loki escaping his bonds, and
leading an army of the dead, giants, and his other children (the giant wolf Fenrir, the
World Serpent, and Hel the ruler of the dead), in an invasion against Asgard, causing the
death of almost all of the gods, and bringing about the destruction of the world by a great
flood.
I imagine if you’ve played the other God of War games, this is starting to sound familiar.
From the gods being responsible for the death of his family to seeking revenge for that
to storming their holy realm with giants in tow to the world ending with a great fucking
flood, Loki’s story parallels Kratos’s from the original trilogy.
Now, obviously, God of War takes a ton of liberties with its source material, and based
on things that have already happened in the game, as well as the ways the creative team
has changed events and characters from the Norse myths, Atreus’s path will be drastically
different from the Loki of legend, and what I’ve laid out here could have nothing to
do with God of War’s future.
With that said, the fact that the developers chose the god in the Norse pantheon whose
tale reflects that of Kratos’s to be his son, seems to be too big of a connection to
just be a coincidence.
I don’t know the intentions of the developers, but I would have to imagine that when they
decided for Atreus to be Loki, they considered the reaction people would have to the name
itself.
They considered how players would look at Atreus in an entirely new way, despite him
not really doing anything to warrant it.
They considered how people would associate him with the other versions of Loki, and because
of that, many players would assume that the kind-hearted kid was destined to fall from
grace.
So when Kratos says,
“Who I was is not who you will be.”
I find it hard to believe because, in the Norse Myth, Loki is Kratos.
While Atreus might not have kids to avenge, he does have a father, one who we can only
assume, will die.
Starting the whole cycle anew.
The more I think about God of War’s ending and delve into the implications and possibilities,
the more I feel like Atreus’s story is an incredible reflection of growing up.
No matter how much promise you show, no matter how much a parent may try to protect you from
making the mistakes they made, no matter how hard you try to stick to your childhood dreams,
you will have failures, you will struggle in ways your parents hoped you wouldn’t,
and you will not become the exact reflection of your 10-year-old self’s ideal of an adult.
And that’s usually a good thing.
Inner struggle is part of growing up; it is part of being a human.
There is a very real possibility that Atreus will be nothing like the Loki from Norse Mythology;
Kratos may succeed in stopping his son from repeating his own mistakes, and gosh wouldn’t
that be nice but, regardless, adding the revelation at the end of the game sowed doubt into my
mind about who Atreus would become.
Throughout the story, I found myself thinking about the thousands of possibilities his future
may hold.
After it, I could really only see the one path.
A path I imagine most would not want for him.
My point in all of this is that growing up will always be met with some level of disappointment.
It’s bittersweet.
And a large part of that is because the path we end up taking in life is just one of the
seemingly infinite possibilities that are in front of us when we are 10 years old.
When I went off to college, I was terrified of growing up.
I felt like even deciding on my major would cut away hundreds of other potential futures
that I had once dreamed about.
I feared that I would let someone down because of my choices—that I would let myself down
because of them.
And that anxiety, that was a major part of my story.
Luckily for me, my path just lead to majoring in English, not potentially causing the end
of the world (we’ll see though).
I admit, maybe I am just seeing what I need to see in God of War—seeing what makes me
feel like my experience was a universal one.
And, I’d argue that’s the true value of a complex narrative: finding a scrap that
you can hold onto and call your own.
As a kid, coming of age stories gave me guidance.
As an adult, they give me context.
So whether it be reading Catcher in the Rye, and seeing so much of an old friend in Holden
Caulfield it hurts or watching Stand by Me, and recalling how those idyllic childhoods
days were rougher around the edges than I sometimes give them credit for being or playing
God of War, and remembering that at some point in life, everyone will become someone they
don’t completely recognize, these types of stories still have power and remind us
that we’re not alone.