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Now what you’re here for.
Necromancer Performs A Surgery With A Flamethrower (Kinda)
Hi everyone.
All Things DnD is back with another story.
A necromancer is just a really late healer.
But this necromancer happens to also be a just-in-time surgeon.
We’d love to hear your funny problem solving stories after you listen to how this necromancer
saves the day:
I am playing Jetor, a Lvl 5 Deep Gnome necromancer in 5e.
We are nearing the end of the Dragon Heist adventure and have just found the macguffin.
The party is working for as many factions at once as possible, without telling any of
them about it if possible.
We gotta raise the money to renovate our haunted mansion.
Gonna have a ghost bartender, gonna be sweet.
Normal 5th level crap.
Party is Jetor, big fighter, small paladin, an emerald conclave ranger and occasionally
the archetype steal-everything rogue, who was away doing crime things in crime time.
In the last session we cleared out another necromancer's hideout in the city, underneath
a wig-shop.
A zombie-holder appeared mid-fight and nearly disintegrated the paladin.
Fortunately, he missed, and got destroyed by a hasted paladin with two smites.
Haste is a good spell.
We head back to Waterdeep and meet with The Emerald Conclave, who had tasked us to take
care of this necromancer's creations earlier.
We realize that Waterdeep's residents are a bunch of hippies, especially the Emerald
Conclave.They HATE necromancy and barely tolerate Jetor.
Necromancers get a bad rep, to be honest.
The Emerald Conclave rewards us, but tasks us to go back there in order to clean out
something we left behind in the hideout.
You see, a goon that was after the necromancer ran away from the party in a rare moment of
justified self-perseverance.
He ran through a door into a room filled with zombies.
We later closed the door and left.
Detect magic sees a TON of zombies, and one being that is made with stronger magic than
the rest.
We planned to just leave it there as the zombies weren't going anywhere, but the money…
Plus, they're willing to send a cleric with us who can destroy undead.
Seems easy, right?
We return to the wig-shop ASAP with the cleric, and go to the door of the zombie room.
Everyone prepares to charge in.
Jetor hastes the warrior.
Haste is a good spell.
The fighter rushes in, sees the stronger undead and charges it.
The rest of us start mopping up the trash zombies.
The cleric does cleric crap, and magic nukes 10 of them to dust.
Very cool.
But the stronger undead is weird.
It is filled with worms and is throwing them at the fighter.
The fighter dodges most of them, and when one lands on him, he cuts it off right away.
The strong zombie gets floored by the hasted-fighter and seems dead, but the worms are still crawling
around.
We turn to the rest of the zombies.
Clean up the trash mobs no problem over the next round.
Back to the worm-undead's turn… surprise!
It regenerates hit points.
It gets up and lobs a fat worm at the Paladin's face.
He gets hit, fails to get rid of the worm, and it burrows into him.
The Paladin smites the worm-undead.
It dies for real due to radiant damage.
Then he takes damage at the end of the turn from the worm.
Combat over, but still in initiative order now.
None of us have any idea how to get rid of this thing.
The Paladin tries to dig it out with his fingers, and rolls a 2.
This makes the wound worse and takes damage.
The worm is still deep in there.
Someone tries a Cure Wounds, helps with the bleeding, but the worm keeps doing its thing.
On my turn, Jetor, not knowing any healing spells (Lol wizard), searches through the
necromancer's tome on a nearby table to see if there is anything about the worm-undead.
Apparently, the worm-undead is created as a mimicry of some more powerful undead that
serve Orcus himself.
While the worm can take damage, once it is burrowed, it is almost impossible to remove
it physically without cutting the victim open completely.
The only guaranteed method is to use Remove Curse, or an effect that cures disease.
But… we have a cleric!
And he is out of spell slots.
Crap…
Wait, Lay On Hands cures diseases!
The Paladin says he is out of Lay On Hands.
Of course.
The NPC cleric tries, at Paladin's discretion, to cut it out.
A very hard check, but he rolls VERY high.
He cuts into the Paladin's stomach, causing gross damage but exposing the worm for a brief
second.
But, we are still in initiative order, and it is Jetor's turn again.
Given that the others could earlier attack the worms before they burrowed into them,
I ask if I can blast the worm with Chill Touch before it hides itself again.
DM says yes, but it has three fourths cover due to being mostly inside of the paladin,
and if I miss then I hit the paladin instead.
Doesn't seem very good to me.
Any attack roll spell will be really hard to hit in this scenario.
But wait.
If I use AOE damage, I can't miss, right?
Jetor walks up to the dying paladin, tells him to prepare himself, and casts Burning
Hands point blank right at his torso.
Because of the 15-ft cone AOE, I also accidentally hit the ranger behind him.
No way to get around it.
Roll for damage, get high roll.
Paladin barely stays conscious, Ranger gets mildly singed…
But the worm is burned to cinder!
And the wound is partially cauterized.
Score 1 for Necromancer M.D.
Leave initiative order, and the party breathes a sigh of relief.
We start searching the room, bid the cleric goodbye, more healing, regular after-fight
business.
We leave the hideout triumphant, if mildly charred.
Then, the Paladin pipes up for a second.
"Guys, you're going to hate me for this…
But I just realized DID have one more Lay On Hands left"
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At least the paladin has that Lay Of Hands ready for after the party beats him.
But that was some pretty quick thinking by the necromancer!
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