(scary music and lightening strike)
(evil laughter)
- Okay. Nigh night. Nigh night then.
Nigh night.
Nigh night. (laughs)
Mm... (thunder crackling) (gentle snoring)
(thunder crackling) (dramatic music)
(mumbling and whimpering)
(birds tweeting)
- That was not a good night.
- Oh, I was so sick, I was shredding--
- Morning mate!
- Oh, hey dude.
Yeah, it was amazing!
- Driver, we're making good time, right?
You know I don't like to be late.
So yeah.
Bike!
- [Driver] I'm sorry, sir!
- My god, why do they have to take up the whole road?
Two abreast!
They don't own the place!
Give 'em a toot or something, we need to get by,
I'm in a rush. (car horn tooting)
Come on, get out the way!
I mean move, for, god!
I'm gonna give them a piece of my mind.
Like! Get out the road!
You'd don't own the place!
Pay some road tax!
Whoa!
- Flip it, I recognize him.
- Yeah?
- Jess, I've been experimenting with my cadence recently
I really think this is going to up my FTP and I can steal
my KOM off myself, the fifth time this week.
- No way!
That's awesome.
Well I have a wonderful, dull sensation coursing through my
legs and between them!
- That looked like Neil and Jess, imagine!
Neil and Jess on road bikes (laughs).
Crazy!
Come, on! Hurry up!
- Anything interesting sir?
- No, usual stuff.
What the hell?
Go, go, go!
That's Doddy!
It is Doddy!
- Five blades this morning, I can tell you it's definitely
significantly faster.
But, I'm definitely going to shave again before we ride
this afternoon!
- Are you going to go pro?
- Yeah, I'm going to go pro.
- Yeah, yeah, me too, I'm going to go pro too!
- Did you watch the Tour of France?
If I didn't have to work, I could be that fast.
- I've actually matched my bar tape to my
seat cover as well.
The savings, remarkable!
I'm tell you man, that was Neil, Jess and Doddy!
Gone roady!
I don't understand!
- Wearing lycra.
- Wearing lycra!
It was horrible!
What is that?!
(ominous music)
Is that?
Chris?
It is!
That's Chris!
- Whoa!
How're you not getting a puncture?
- It's not even an original idea.
- Whoa, look at that angle!
Whoa!
Whoa, whoa!
Amazing!
- What the hell is going on?
That was Chris!
Neil, Jess, Doddy, they've all gone roady!
Blake! I've got to ring Blake!
Oh man, I hope he's OK.
Pick up!
Oh god!
- Hey Martyn, how's it going?
- Oh man, I'm having such a terrible day!
Dude, are you OK?
- I am totally fine man!
I've just done an epic ride!
Yeah, twice around the Isle of Wight!
I know!
I bonked twice, 75% of that was at my max wattage!
Did you know that? Yeah!
Bonked, I know, did I forget to tell you how much
I love cake!
Cake! I know!
It's so good!
Oh and coffee!
Did I tell you how much I love coffee?
You know what, I've still got 40 miles to go.
- Blaaaaaah!
(frantically shouting)
(echoes of voices)
- [Man's Echo] Did you watch the Tour of France?
- [Man's Echo] My calves are so tight.
- [Man's Echo] Definitively going to shave again
before we ride this afternoon.
- I probably imagined it!
Its probably all in my mind (laughs manically).
As if they'd all have gone roady!
It's probably going to be OK.
(gate creaking open)
(man whimpering)
Okay, okay.
This actually seems kind of normal.
(elevator ding and elevator music)
Okay, let's get to the Dirt Shed.
And everything will be fine.
Stay calm.
(elevator music)
- [Elevator Voice] Going down.
(ominous music) Martin, nice roady.
They've gone roady!
(maniacal laughter)
You're next!
Doors open.
(ominous music)
(shower running)
(blade creaking)
- Hello mate, how're you doing?
Want to borrow me razor?
- Oh, god!
Horrible.
(upbeat music)
- Hello everybody, and welcome to the Dirt Shed show,
which is brought to you as ever by our pals over at
Chain Reaction Cycles (cowbell dong).
- This week, we're asking the question: just what is the
perfect angle for you bar ends?
And just how narrow can you have your handle bars?
- We've sent Emma out exploring to find some of the most fun
climbs you have ever seen in your life, while Si is testing
out some semi-slick tires to reduce rolling resistance.
- Yeah, all in the pursuit Dan of that perfect
fire road descent.
It is going to be gnarly bra.
- It's going to be rad!
(steam blowing)
- Oh, there she goes!
Hello?
Uh, I just want a coffee!
- Oh, so, so good!
- Steve!
- So good.
- I'm so glad to see you, you're wearing normal clothes.
- There's such an elegant frame integration, 120 meters of
torque, wow it's all about the torque Mart, honestly.
Wow, 19, 84, 24, 6400--
- This is worse!
- [Steve] Oh, man!
- Mart this really is next level!
It's so much more thermally stable than the old model,
and totally optimizing.
But get this, its 20% lighter, 20% smaller and guess what?
- Ahhhhh!
Yeah, I love you, okay, bye.
That's wrong (man laughs)
- And between them! (man laughs)
(group laughing)
(man laughing) - It's not funny, you know?
This is worse! (man laughing)
Tight, did you see lads!
Tight clothes!
- [Man With Black Pants] My bike has gone roady! Naaw!
(Martin squealing) (maniacal laughter)
(group laughing) - That's perfect.
(pretend screaming) - Peace!
(group laughing)