Today we're talking about dating!
And I'm offering up six tips on how to meet the right person.
[music]
The reason that I even contemplated doing this video was because I was watching a TED talk,
And I'll link it in the description, it's really powerful - the woman who speaks actually has been divorced three times
And she talks about the importance of loving yourself and finding the right relationship
And she has some really sage advice, so I'll link it there, check it out.
But let's get into these tips.
The first tip - And I know we hear this all the time, and it can be really annoying and frustrating,
But it's really true, and that is: Don't go into a relationship looking for something that you're missing
Or something to complete you.
We actually really do need to love ourselves first.
And I can even speak from personal experience. The year leading up to me meeting Sean was one of my happiest personally.
I was spending a lot of time doing things that I wanted to do, just because I wanted to do them.
And it really helped me know what to look for - I was in therapy at the time, really growing as a person,
And that way I was actually ready to fall in love with someone when I met Sean.
And the second tip is: Date a variety of people.
We often don't know if we like or don't like something until we're with it, and we're spending time with it.
And that's a great way to kind of decide what it is we like.
Often, we learn things about ourselves in relationships, and I think it's important to get a variety of data
Before we decide to potentially settle down, if that's something that we wanna do.
And the third tip, and honestly the reason that I think Sean and I's relationship was so great and still is so great,
Is you need to have fun when you're dating.
Dating doesn't have to be all serious, doesn't have to just be dinner and movies and drinks and dates like that.
Go outside, do things you've never done before. Take a painting class. Go on a hike. Try mountain biking.
When Sean and I first started dating, we did all sorts of stuff like that, and we don't do it as much now
Because I'm spending a lot of time with you.
But, it's really important to get out of your comfort zone. Do things that you've been wanting to do,
And you finally have a person that you can just bring along, like "Hey, how about this weekend we -
"We try snowboarding? I've never done it before, but it just snowed and I'd really like to go."
Any number of things you can try out, you can learn about yourself, and the person -
And that kinda goes back to almost number one, like -
Loving on yourself, doing things that feel good to you, because then it's the best foundation for a healthy relationship.
As a sidenote, it also gives you a look into that person - How they manage difficult or uncomfortable situations,
And it also lets them understand the same for you. I really think it's a great thing to do when dating.
Number four is be confident.
They asked you out for a reason, or they said yes to this date for a reason.
Stop second-guessing whether or not they wanna spend time with you,
Because they already are. And enjoy, and know that you, in a way, are, like -
"Interviewing" them, too, and getting to know them.
It's up to you whether you wanna see them again as well. So be confident.
Be assured that they wanna be with you, and that's why they're there.
Number five is pay attention to them and really listen.
And this is actually a reason why I have not gone on second dates in my life,
Because I don't really feel like they're listening. Imagine if I was talking to you, and then you're kind of like, looking off...
You're like - "Oh, uh-huh, uh-huh..."
Nobody likes to be, like, "listened to" that way - They're not even listening, they're not paying attention.
Make sure that when you go on a date you're really present, you're really engaged with them,
Because that's the only way we're actually gonna find out if we like them and if it's gonna work.
And the sixth and final tip:
Know it's okay to walk away.
You deserve the best. You deserve a happy, healthy relationship.
So know that if things aren't feeling right, if something has gone wrong, if they've abused you in any way,
If they've done anything that has made you really uncomfortable and refuse to hear your side or hear you out,
Walk away. Life's too short.
We all deserve to have happy, healthy relationships, and there are no reasons to stick around any longer.
I know dating can be hard and stressful, and some of us don't even know if we wanna do it,
But I hope that these tips give you an idea of where to start
And hopefully set a nice, solid foundation for healthy, happy relationships to come.
And if you think that this video could help someone else, post it on your Facebook page!
You never know. A lot of people struggle with dating and get really nervous and anxious and don't know what to do,
And I hope that this video can offter some help.
And leave in the comments your advice. If you've successfully dated or if you enjoy dating and you have some tips,
Let us know! And I will see you next time!
Today we're talking about dating!
And I'm offering up sips -
Sips. Sips?
Sips of... coffee.
Wake up, Kati.