- Sup? So it's been a while since we've delved
into the mind of this little weirdo.
(chuckles) You know, the one that dyed his hair orange
or tried to eat grass just to see why the cows liked it.
And I recently went to visit my parentals
who were sharing some of the reasons
why I was such a bizarre child.
I mean, come on guys. It's not my fault.
I inherited 50% of the weirdness from each of you.
And then it just went into me. (squeaky sound)
and it's been wait, the last weird kid video was in 2014?
No.
I'm just gonna take a moment because time has no meaning.
Right after that wash of slight terror,
I'm gonna jump into it.
Starting with rocks.
I collected rocks, okay? (chuckles)
Not like shiny gemstones.
No, it was an entire collection
of regular plain old gray rocks.
Why? I'd love to know.
Who knows.
But I was vibing with them. I even named them.
Ooh, Lorraine, looking extra igneous today.
Oh, Bill, that crust can't be beaten.
I remember proudly sharing my rock collection
with my parents and I think they were like,
"Wow, that's amazing, Phil."
Amazing Phil. In their heads they were just like,
"What is wrong with our child?"
Then they went upstairs
and I think they had some kind of team meeting.
They came down and said,
"In exchange for you releasing your rocks into the wild,
we'll get you a pet hamster."
Henry the hamster.
So, once Henry was settled,
the day came to get rid of my rocks.
I remember it so vividly. (chuckles)
We took them into the garden
and I placed them under a tree.
Goodbye, my child.
They're probably still there. (cries)
I loved you.
Salt.
Okay. Quick one.
Sometimes when I would walk past the dining table,
I would get the salt shaker, pour a little bit on my hand
and just give it a little lick.
(chuckles) I don't know why.
It was just a little bit.
Maybe I craved that mineral.
I'd never have more than one lick a week
but in that moment it was a salty delight.
Okay, I'll stop. I'll stop.
Moving on. Pokémon.
The next story is about me making a fool of myself
because of a Pokémon card.
And very related to that fact is my dream sponsor.
Pokémon is back. You legends.
And they sent me a whole bunch of goodies
from their new trading card collection.
Remember the last time I got Pokémon cards
and the first one I pulled was the rarest of the bunch?
And people thought I rigged it but I was just weirdly lucky.
Let's see if that happens again.
So, the new collection Sword & Shield Brilliant Stars
comes in booster packs, build the battle boxes,
which is like a ready to play deck
and elite trainer boxes like this one.
The elite trainer box seems like the best place to start
as you get all of this stuff.
And you can grab the enhanced elite trainer box
exclusively at the Pokémon center.
Ah, the booster packs still smell the same.
Okay. Let's open one.
The first Pokémon I get is the vibe I give off.
(laughs) It's a Snorunt.
I get it. I understand.
Oh, it bounces happily around in cold environments.
Okay, the next one represents you guys.
(laughs) It's a Nosepass.
At least it's strong and proud.
Ooh, Zamazenta V card.
We got a rare one.
Bonus points for it being a majestic dog.
Along with V cards, there's also very special V star cards
which give you one V power to use per game.
Let's try and find one.
V star? No, shiny Eevee though.
That looks cool. I like that one.
Ooh, I always get a tingly vibration of excitement
whenever I open a trading card pack.
Maybe you should treat yourself
and then you will feel the same.
Are you the one? Yes, I got one.
Shiny Arceus.
Imagine you're a tiny, innocent Pikachu
then the God of Pokemon just used Starbirth on you?
(chuckles) You don't stand a chance.
I also had a game with these
when my friend was visiting up north,
which was super nostalgic but it's got me addicted
to the card game again so I really wanna play some more.
Well, also if you don't wanna play,
they are fun to collect as well.
So, put a link below if you wanna get yourself some cards.
So as I said, speaking of Pokémon,
around time Pokémon cards were first released,
a kid at my school, Kevin, was bragging to everyone
that he had gotten a shiny Charizard
which was the rarest card everyone wanted.
You'd swap your mum for one if you were given the option.
And he got so much attention at school
and I just wanted a piece of that attention
but alas all my cards have been Jigglypuffs
and Goldeens up to that point.
Oh, I did get a Machoke.
That was a highlight if you remember
my feelings towards Machoke.
But yeah.
One day he was being super obnoxious
and bragging extra hard about his shiny.
And I just had enough.
So I said, "Whatever, I got a rarer card than that.
I got the diamond Charizard shiny."
They only made five and I got one in a pack from Japan
because my dad moved there.
Anyway, obviously he asked to see it.
What was I thinking?
I had not planned this far in advance, okay?
And I was just like, "Oh no, I can't bring it to school.
'Cause my dad locked it in a safe under our house
so no one steals it."
I didn't even have a basement. What was I saying?
I'm wondering what would be under my old house
if we dug it up.
Either Kevin was being a good friend
and realized I was just being a lying weirdo
or he was super dumb and believed the story.
'Cause he was just like, "Ah darn.
I'd love to see it one day
if you could go back in the basement."
Thanks for not pushing that one, Kev.
I would've ended up leaving all my family
and moving to Denmark out of awkward shame.
And now look at me, Kevin. I've got an Arceus.
Lick that. Twin twin.
I thought twins were super cool and I wanted to be one.
Well, second thought,
I don't think my house would've survived two Phils
clumsily rampaging everywhere,
but if I could have sold soul for a twin, I would've.
Perfect opportunity came up when I went to Beavers
which is like baby Cub Scouts.
I guess I was a furry from an early age.
Anyway, one day for literally no reason,
I told some select people that I was a twin.
Yeah, I've got a twin.
And I said that my twin might show up at a Beavers session
if I couldn't make it.
I kept this just to the other seven-year-olds.
As I figured the Beaver leader, what do they call it?
Head fox? Barn owl?
I don't know. Something.
Something.
If they found out they would've rumbled me
and told everyone.
So, after I'd been on holiday,
I thought now is the perfect time.
I've been away for a bit.
Gonna go back into Beavers as the twin.
So, I stole some of my brother's wet look hair gel.
And I remember pulling my fringe down
into individual spikes. (laughs)
Not spiking up but like down onto my forehead.
(chuckles) And then I went in to Beavers as the twin
and told everyone that my name was Leon.
(laughs)
Leon Lester has a nice ring to it to be fair.
And once I was there, I put on this cool kid persona.
Just call me Leon Lester.
Pretended I liked football stickers.
I mean, I like looking at the footballers on the stickers.
It wasn't a full life.
I love those footballs.
The four or five kids that I told
actually believed that I was Leon.
I couldn't believe it. It was happening.
I was a twin.
I mean, I guess why wouldn't they believe me?
Why would someone be so weird (laughs)
to make something like that up?
I was basking in all the twin glory and attention
until someone said something to me that was so mortifying.
It ruined everything.
They said, "Wow, you are so much more fun
than your brother, Phil."
(melancholic music)
And in that moment I crumbled, I was a puddle of jealousy.
I was jealous of myself for being cooler than myself.
And I blurted out, "What do you mean? I am cool."
And I was rumbled.
Thankfully, they saw it as a funny joke
and not that I was a total weirdo
which is kind of what I deserved.
So yeah, RIP Leon. Never seen again.
I said you should get back in your box until we finish this.
Hello.
Garden sleep.
Okay, so finally, no way to sugarcoat this.
I had the overwhelming urge to go sleep in my garden.
(laughs) And I'm talking just like duvet and pillows
under the stars without a tent.
I think I got it from a cartoon.
Like, some characters went and slept out under the stars
and then in the morning, they saw the sunrise
and were like, "Ah, nature."
I wanted to do that.
So, you can probably tell where this story's going.
One night unbeknown to my parents, I took my blanket.
I took my pillow.
I went out the side door into the back garden
and just laid down underneath the stars.
So, it was kinda nice, peaceful.
Went to sleep for about 20 minutes
until I woke up with an entire slug on my arm.
Now, I'm not scared of slugs, but this was a gross slug.
It had fully secreted on me.
I don't know what mood they're in
when they release an overwhelming amount of slime,
but it was all over my arm.
I was mildly freaked out.
So, I just kind of flung it across the garden.
And then something happened.
I heard a rustle in a bush.
(bush rustling) It was over for me at that point.
I went to full panic mode and I realized
that sleeping in the garden in the middle of the night
with no lights was actually terrifying
and what was I thinking?
What was even rustling? A Northern English Wolf?
(bush rustling)
The slug king peeved that I've just chucked
his boyfriend across the garden?
(bush rustling)
Machoke? I wish. I didn't stick around to find out.
So, I picked up my blanket and my slug slime covered pillow
and walked to the back door where I realized
when I closed it, it had locked the deadlock
and I could not get back inside my house.
I had to walk down to the front of the house in my pajamas
where all my neighbors could have seen
and ring my own doorbell
at what I think was probably two in the morning by now.
Imagine what my parents were thinking.
So, a very confused dad just opened the door a crack
and then saw my face like,
(sad music) I'm sorry.
He was not a happy bunny seeing his damp
and slightly traumatized son
just standing in the garden in his pajama. (chuckles)
That's when I got the warning
that maybe I could have been eaten by an ax murderer.
And if I wanna go roleplay as a squirrel in the future,
maybe give the parents a heads up first
and we can go shopping for a discount tent.
Sorry, dad. Also, sorry, slug.
And now you're probably understanding
why I turned out this way.
So, if you've got any stories
about why you were a weird kid,
please leave them in the comments below
as I'm gonna make a load of shorts
reacting to some of my favorites.
Thanks again to Pokémon Sword & Shield Brilliant Stars
for sponsoring this video.
If you wanna check them out, I'll put them in the link below
and I think we should open one more booster pack
just for old time sake. What are we gonna get out?
Fingers crossed for a rainbow rare.
Right, the first one I see
represents the rest of 2022 for us all.
It's Hitmontop.
I mean, it's the top.
It's not the Hitmonbottom.
So, maybe that's a good thing.
Okay, the next one I see represents my 2023.
Cubchoo?
(laughs) It's the snot Pokémon.
It will smear it's snot on anyone it doesn't like.
I mean, I can relate to that.
I don't like interacting with other people, so I'll take it.
Hope y'all are having a good day
and I will see you very soon.
Goodbye.