hey everyone and welcome to top think today we're gonna learn about seven proven steps to
mastering your emotions now let's begin number one umbrella emotions people who struggle to
control their emotions are often guilty of the same bad habit you experience dozens if not
hundreds of unique emotions on a daily basis each one combines personality context and experience to
create a mental state that's unique to you as an individual now despite our incredible emotional
diversity many people group their feelings into a few simplistic categories these umbrella emotions
cancel out the important quirks of each individual feeling for example you might say I feel bad to
describe just about any negative emotion but think about all the different emotions that
are summed up by the word bad in this one umbrella category you've got everything from disappointment
to sadness to apathy yep they're all negative but that's pretty much the only thing that they
have in common they're triggered by different events they're prevented or resolved in their
own unique ways each individual word can even be broken down further into dozens of more specific
feelings sadness could mean you're lonely but you could just as easily be sad about a missed
opportunity or the loss of a loved one when you use umbrella emotions you're neglecting the real
problem it's nearly impossible to figure out what's wrong because you don't know how you're
feeling about it well here let's say you feel bad when you don't get a promotion at work you assume
you're just upset because you weren't chosen for the position but weeks go by and those negative
emotions won't leave you alone so you dedicate tons of time and effort to ensure that you're
picked for the next promotion and when that day comes you end up getting the job only to realize
that you're feeling just as sad as you were before if you had put away your umbrella you would have
noticed that you weren't add about the missed promotion at all you were feeling unfulfilled
in your career so instead of dedicating all that time towards your current job you should
have been looking for something that would have made you happy now this sounds simple sure but
most people can't wrap their heads around their emotions it's much easier for them to group their
feelings into four or five different categories but their brains are so much more complex than
that if you want to master your emotions then take the time to identify these three things what are
you feeling where does it come from and why are you feeling it this simple step will award you
more emotional intelligence than the vast majority of people in the world today number two positive
rumination a single negative event can overshadow a week's worth of positivity after something bad
happens you might feel this lingering sense of negativity whether it's guilt or embarrassment
that negativity infects almost everything that you do afterwards even the things that you love
won't feel nearly as fun because you can't get that negative experience out of your head so
how do we pay less attention to the bad and more attention to the good well a 2003 study
challenged two groups of participants to keep daily records of their behaviors and experiences
one group paid special attention to the positives while another focused on the negatives after weeks
of keeping detailed records researchers measured the well-being of each participant they discovered
that writing down positive experiences has the most significant impact on your mood because
participants were more conscious of the good they spent less time worrying about the bad so if
you're falling down an emotional hole then start keeping records of the positive things in your
life if you're consistent you can stabilize your mental state in no time number three challenging
patterns if you're learning how to draw which is a better way to start should you only draw one thing
or should you practice drawing hundreds of things hmm repetition does have its place but expanding
your arsenal will give you more experience and flexibility when it comes to your emotions many
people lack the perspective to overcome challenges they stick to the same patterns places and
routines for their entire lives while this offers safety and organization it narrows your view of
yourself it really deprives you of the experience you need to gain that perspective you'll struggle
to honestly reflect on who you are because you've never faced anything that you're not comfortable
with to build your emotional intelligence you need to force yourself out of your comfort zone
travel somewhere new commit yourself to a job or hobby that scares you interact with a community
that's different from the one you know these new experiences will improve your emotional health by
giving you a better understanding of who you are number four natural immersion sometimes a casual
stroll outside is all that you need to control your emotions a 2016 study found that walking is
one of the most effective ways to stabilize your mood just like how exercise lifts your
spirits physical movement decreases stress by neutralizing sporadic neural activity in other
words when your brain is drowning in negativity a short walk can pull you to safety that same
study found that walking is especially useful for diminishing boredom and fear if you're not
careful these two negative emotions can consume your life the more you pay attention to them the
worse they get boredom turns into hopelessness and low self-esteem fear quickly transforms into
frustration and anxiety before you know it your goals habits and relationships start to suffer
when you're stuck in this negative headspace it feels like you need something major to claw your
way to freedom but the truth is little activities like walking can completely shift your men
this technique becomes even more therapeutic when done in the right context so instead of walking
through your house or around your neighborhood try to immerse yourself in nature walk through
a Greenbelt or go on a hike replace work and Technology with trees water and natural beauty
placing yourself in this new context will improve your mood and unravel mental stress
your brain often decides its base mental state by taking cues from the surrounding environment just
think about how productive you are at your desk at work versus your bed at home if you're like most
people sitting in your bed makes you lazy and lethargic but it's not because you're any more
tired than normal your brain simply associates your bed with relaxing activities your desk at
work on the other hand put your brain in a more productive environment which unconsciously changes
your behavior context moderates your emotions in the exact same way a change in scenery might
be all that you need to get your feelings under control natural settings work wonders
on suffocating emotions like anger and doubt so if you find yourself losing your temper nature gives
you a place to relax in to let off steam when you have to make an important decision a walk through
the wild helps you see more clearly your emotions will give way to rational thought and creative
problem-solving by the end of your walk that initial problem may not even bother you anymore
so don't waste any more time feeling stressed and helpless a little activity and a change in context
will help you regain control of your emotions number 5 expanding vocabulary how does your
vocabulary affect your emotions well believe it or not learning new words helps you identify specific
feelings it's much easier for you to conceptualize each emotion when you know the right word to pair
with it expanding your emotional vocabulary helps distinguish between similar feelings just take
these two emotions annoyance and frustration on the surface while they sound exactly the same but
they're not annoyance requires an object you're annoyed by someone's loud music you're annoyed
with your younger sibling frustration on the other hand comes from your inability to achieve a
goal for example you might be frustrated that you can't finish your presentation learning as little
as one new word a day can transform the way that you analyze your feelings number six emotional
resilience to master your emotions you have to recover from mental setbacks psychologists call
this emotional resilience people who haven't developed resilience struggle to bounce back
after any kind of failure when something goes wrong they're overwhelmed by negative emotions
it gets to the point where they start losing control if you're not careful this can lead to
aggression risky behavior and substance abuse it also cripples motivation and productivity bringing
your goals to a standstill so how do you develop emotional resilience practicing mindfulness like
writing down positive experience is one strategy another is to start doing cognitive reappraisal
training this means learning to reinterpret the stressful stimuli in your life it'll teach you
how to react cope and learn in a healthy and productive way emotional resilience is a skill
that you'll need for the rest of your life so don't wait to start reinterpreting your mistakes
number seven people watching to the untrained eye people watching is just something that you
do when you're bored but it actually improves your social intuition social intuition is how
you understand other people's emotions for example when you notice your friends eyebrows are angled
downward your social intuition tells you that your friend is angry people-watching teaches you
to read complex emotions through body language you learn what signals to look for you hone in
on the most informative parts of the body like the mouth and the hands you can even
try to predict what they'll do next and the more you practice the better you'll get so how does
this help you actually master your own emotions when you identify them in other people you learn
to recognize those emotions in yourself you also get a boost in emotional expression you learn to
communicate through your words faces and other forms of body language as simple as it sounds
people watching will enhance your emotional intelligence inside and out hey thank you
for watching top think and be sure to subscribe because more incredible content is on the way