[WAPISH] Top of the mornin' to ya laddies!
[Louder] [WAPISH] Top of the mornin' to ya laddies!
[WAPISH] [Incoherent screaming]
Hello everybody! My name is Markiplier
And welcome to... How well do I know JackSepticEye?
I honestly have no idea
I just did the video where I was doing 'me quizzes'
And in the 'recommended' section, it was like
JackSepticEye buhlubuhlub [Blows raspberries]
I'm not used to calling him JackSepticEye
I'm just gonna call him Jack
Or Sean
Or I don't know
I'm about to pick his name
I don't know, do I even know his name?
I don't know
So anyway, I saw the quizzes in the suggested feed
And I went to myself and I was like
How well do I really know him?
I haven't looked up any supplementary information
I haven't gone to his Wiki
To try to find out anything about this
And uhh...
I kinda wanna see... How this goes...
Cuz I have no idea!
So anyway, "What's JackSepticEye's real name?"
'Felix Arvid Ulf Kjellburg'
Or Jack space Septic space Eye
What if he legally changed his name
to Jack-space-Septic-space-Eye
Oh, Mr. Eye?
Oh, call me Jack
I'm pretty sure...
Pretty sure-
Even though I still-I call him Jack all the time
Even when I'm seeing him in person,
I call him Jack,
and I'm trying to break the habit,
but it's so ingrained in my brain to call him Jack.
It's Sean.
His name is Sean.
Where is he from?
[Attempts Irish accent] Ireeeland
That's not Irish
"Oooireland"!
"Eeeeerland"!
Ooooiiilerr-
[Text-to-speech voice reads] "Ireland"
That doesn't sound right
How do you pronounce...
[Blows raspberry]
Eh-okay
[Man's voice] "Eireann"
What the fuck was that?
[Woman's voice] "Eireann"
[Imitates] "Eireann"
[Man's voice slowly] [Pronunciation sounds like "Asian"] "Eireann"
"Asian"?!
What you trying to say about me?!
[Woman's voice] "Eireann"
I don't know who to believe.
I don't know who to believe here.
I've got no guidance.
This is a bunch of bullshit.
Okay.
Apparently it's pronounced "Asian".
D-didn't know that one.
Ireland?
"Is he in a relationship? And if so, with who?"
Er, weh, er
[Laughs] with Pewdiepie
Now he is!
Se-septicPie will live on!
God, that is the worst ship name.
MarkSepticPie?
Is that the triple ship name?
No, it's the lovely Wiishu.
"Who gave him a shout-out to boost his subscribers?"
I don't know, I don't know.
I don't know
He just earned his subs by himself with no shout-out.
Well, I mean
This is the conundrum of a shoutout
Because a lot of people get 'shout-outs'
But it's all about the person's ability to retain the viewers
That really is their own work so
Even if he got subs from
A) Doing videos with PewDiePie
or B) Doing videos with me
It's still him keeping people on board
And that's all him, that's all the skill that he does
So in my opinion,
He earned the subs by himself.
He may have had a shoutout
But in my mind, that's probably irrelevant
"What's the ship name between Markiplier and JackSepticEye?"
There isn't any.
It doesn't exist.
There's none of it.
It doesn't exist.
"How many subscribers does he have of October 1st 2016?"
He just hit 13 million so at that point he probably had 12.-
He had 49 million!
30, 12.35
How old is he?
Ah he's a sweet baby boy -
He's a sweet baby boy of 26.
What a sweet baby boy!
Okay, fuck you!
Gah, you piece of shi-
I'm not gonna look it up, not gonna look it up!
Eeny meeny miny mo, catch a tiger by the toe if he - [Incoherent ranting]
Eh
"How many episodes of Happy Wheels has he had as of this date?"
Probably pretty damn high
But not quite 100 yet
"I hope you enjoyed all the quizzes!"
BAI
BOIII
BYE
BOIII
What did I- fuck!
Goddammit
I got a C, which is average
A passing grade!
I don't even know what I did wrong!
Probably the birthday!
And the last question
I don't know what I did
Oh yeah, I said there wasn't any
Well shit
Oh well
We're going to do
Start off, "What is Jack's real name?"
Ah, fuck you
What, Sean? Sean
Sean with a- why's the Sean got an accent on it?
Gahh-'Jackaboy Fischbach'
That doesn't make any goddamn sense
'Shaun Jack'
Shaun. Jack.
McLoughlin.
You know
Wait
You know
'Shaun Jack'
Shane...
ShaneSepticEye
You know how that works?
Shane...
Septic-
Ah fuck it
[Groans]
Niiice
You know, you know
You know, JackSepticEye
Wait, slightly green...
Shaaack-Jack, yanno?
JaaaackSepticEye here
You know?
You know what I-okay anyway
Sean William McLoughlin
"What was Jack's first video?"
'GMod with Markiplier'
His channel didn't start until that video!
There was nothing before that!
I'm willing to bet that because one of these things is not like the other...
It might have been a Solid Snake impression.
I don't know though...
Let me go to his channel...
This is the only one I'm gonna cheat on because if it IS a Solid Snake impression...
I wanna see it
Man okay, we're gonna dive; we're gonna dive in here
We're diving into the old
We're diving in
Oh!
Oh my god!
It is!
Oh no...
Oh no!
Oh yeah, oh hell yeah
[Video]"War... Has changed..."
[Markiplier giggling]
"It's no longer about nations..."
"Ideologies..." [Giggling continues]
"Or ethnicity..."
"It's an endless series of proxy battles."
"Fought by mercenaries and machines"
[Giggling continues]
- I feel bad for laughing, I feel really bad for laughing
But my God...
That is hilarious
I've never seen that
How does this only have 600 Thousand views!?
How does it only have 600 thousand?!
That should have MILLIONS of views!
My god!
That was amazing!
I mean no it wasn't but it was pretty good, you know?
I love that so much
And then-that's what I love
I love going back and being like,
I've never fucking seen any of this shit.
My God
Okay, alright, I'm not just gonna make this whole video watching his old videos,
because I would be embarrassing him,
and I'm sure he'd hate me for it, but it's okay.
'Cause I love that!
That's so cool!
I never knew that, I've never gone back and looked at these .
"You Don't Know Jack" as the review series
"Whatcha Playin' Jack?" oh my god
Everyone tweet at Jack and say
"You should bring back 'You Don't Know Jack'!"
So like I said, this is not gonna be about that
But I just had to know if that was a Solid Snake impression
And that was a solid Solid Snake impression
I like that, very much so.
"What's Jack's age?" Probably 26.
"How many subscribers?" October- I'll give him the benefit of the doubt
"What nationality is he?"
Korean... German...
American...
Where 's Solid Snake's from?
"What is Jack's longest series to date?"
Probably Happy Wheel- Noo
He probably has more Reading Your Comments than Happy Wheels.
I don't know if Vlogs could be considered a series.
But I'm pretty sure he has more Reading Your Comments than Happy Wheels
"What's Jack's favourite game?"
Definitely not Happy Wheels!
I believe it's Shadow of the Colossus but I'm not 100% sure about that one.
Who gave Jack's channel a shoutout?
Lord Mini- th
The one and only
Lord Minion
Seven Seven Seven!
On a dark and stormy day
About three years ago
descended from the Heavens
And looked upon Jack, straight in his eyes
And said...
[Gruff voice] "Jack!"
Oh fuck that's a bad Wade impression.
[Slightly higher] "Jack!"
noo
[Higher] "Jack!"
nooo
[Even higher] "Jack!"
That's better
"Jack, your content is good in my mind"
"I shall bless you with a shoutout!"
Sounded like Wade
If you do a side-by-side of me and Wade
Couldn't tell the difference probably
The wonderful Wade
Gave him a shoutout
"Where did the quote 'DETAINED!' come from?"
'Papers, please'?
"Where did the quote 'I will bring you the wrath of 1000 badger buttholes' come from?"
Errrrm, errrrrm, I'm assuming it's Slither.io
But maybe not...?
"What is Jack's outro?"
Oh it's as long as fuck
"Wellthatdoesitforthisepisodeifyoulikedit..."
"Ki-kick! Kick..!"
"Ki-ki-kick the like button"?
Maybe I could steal that...
I like kick...
Punch is overrated
You kick it in the face
That's assuming the like button is on the ground and you just
Huddled in a heap and you're repeatedly kicking it in the face
That's how much you should commit to the like button!
I feel like it's a punch in the like button and a kick in the dislike button
Kick him in his disliked button!
That's what'll really take him down!
[Gruff voice] War has changed
People started kicking in the dislike button
[Laughs] "Bye"
"Bye"
F-fucking "bye"
Just what if that's how every YouTuber ended the video
Just "Bye. Fuck."
I ah- I like punch.
Alright fine.
Yay, I didn't do too terribly
That wasn't the worst, I bet I got his birthday wrong
But I'm pretty sure I was right about Wade giving him a shoutout...
Pretty sure
Ugh fucking hell
"Sean Wilfred McDougle"
Ahh good ol' Sean Wilfred McDougle!
Who the fuck is Sean Wilfred McDougle..?
Apparently this
Apparently this guy right here
This handsome gentleman right here
This is Sean Wilfred McDougle
"What did he graduate college with?"
Not an engineering degree...
Hotel management
Er his channel...
Sold snake impression!
Yes
"How did people hear about Jack when he was at about 2000 subs?"
OHHHH
I forgot about that!
Oh Felix had like a...
He had this thing he used to do
He had like a-
A shoutout to YouTubers that
Seemed cool
he did it a long-he doesn't do it anymore
He used to do this thing-was that it?
Ah I don't think so
I, in my mind,
I'd like to think it wouldn't matter either way
People started showing up and talking and spreading the word
That's what, in my heart
No one can deny
He's earned every sub he's had
And I would say the same thing to him
And I'd probably have done a million times but
This guy, like
He didn't get popular because of anyone
It may be, he won a PewDiePie shoutout competition
But he's earned everything
"Who crafted the person-" Oh that was Schmoyoho
Great song
"As of... [Mumbles question] ...in terms of popularity?"
I don't know
This is like a question, do they include the 'music' channel or the 'gaming' channel or the 'all' channel on YouTube
49, 77th, 49th?
"How many subscribers in September?"
[Babbles]
That one
Yeaaaah!
Maybe? I don't know
I know him pretty good
Hey, I know that guy!
I'm Steve, I'm a Steve
I know who that guy is!
That guy back there!
That guy looks familiar!
I recognise the back of that head aaaanytime!
What a good guy!
Is that me? That's not me
That's not me
Hair's too short
Not as floofy
Is that me? I don't know
He's wearing red...
I do wear a lot of red...
That's me, is that me?
I have no idea
Hang on, let's judge by the back of the head
Fuckin' MEE
Aww I knew it was me!
Aw I know those broad shoulders anywhere!
So anyway, that is the end of:
"Do I Know JackSepticEye?"
And the answer is
Weeuuh, a little, kinda
Like a Steve amount
Like, a Steve level of knowledge
Like I have Steve-ing knowledge
So anyway, that is the end of this
And I want to reiterate that all of this is in good love to Jackaboy right there
He's a great guy, if that wasn't evident
Of course he's great
He's fucking JackSepticEye
All love to him, I hope he's not offended by this in any way
I'm sure he's not
I'm sure he's just offended by the fact that I got some things wrong
[Coughs]
But no one will- No one will know about that
Cuz I'll delete it
This video's never gonna be uploaded
So thank you everybody for somehow getting to this imaginary video that never made it to the internet
Lemme know what you thought down in the comments below
If there's anybody else that I should probably know...
Lemme know that as well
So thanks again
And as always I will see you
In the next video
Bye-bye!