- Okay, stop.
Maybe you've been watching my videos for some time now
and you're learning something new.
But you know what? Watching my videos,
that's not gonna make you successful.
That alone, maybe you find it entertaining,
you find it transformational, you find it informative,
but that alone is not enough.
What makes you successful is taking
what I teach you and implementing.
I don't want you to just watch my videos
and learn from me and not take any action.
You need to take that knowledge,
what you've learned from me, and implement.
And one of the things that holds you back,
my guess, is you're afraid of success.
And today, we're gonna talk about that.
How to overcome the fear of success.
(upbeat music)
So let me ask you a question.
Are you afraid of success?
You see, most people are not successful
and there are many, many fears that hold them back.
And a lot of people they think is fear of failure.
"I don't want to fail." "What if it doesn't work?"
"What if it works a little bit and then it stops working
and then I look really stupid?"
It's that fear of failure that paralyzes people
and they don't take action, that's very, very common.
But another thing that I notice is this:
That it's not just the fear of failure,
but a fear of success that holds people back.
They're afraid of success, they're afraid of the unknown.
Let me give you some examples.
See if you experience any of these things.
You're making some money, you are experiencing some success.
But your business or your income
is always like a roller coaster.
You make a bunch of money and somehow, something
just happens and you lose the money.
It could be some deal that you make,
some investment that you do, and you lose the money.
And you make some money, and you lose money.
You make money, lose money.
You never could really hold onto that money that you make
and you don't know why.
And you say to yourself, "You know what?
That's just the way the business is.
It's the business cycle, it's just the way that it is."
Or maybe you are doing something in your business,
you're doing something in your life,
and it starts going well, it starts working.
And then you stop, for no reason at all.
Something that's working, maybe it's
a marketing campaign that's working,
that's bringing you clients, that's bringing you customers.
For no reason whatsoever, you just stop.
You stop writing those ads.
I don't know why, but you just stop.
Or maybe you always have to struggle.
You feel like, "You know what? If I'm not struggling,
then my accomplishment, it cannot be worthwhile
because I always have to struggle."
Or you always wait for something to be perfect.
Is that you? That you're always waiting.
"I need everything to be perfect,
to perfectly align, then I will take action.
Then I will take action."
And when it just starts to get good, just starts to get good
and you do some stupid shit to sabotage the whole thing.
And that's your pattern, again and again and again.
If you have some of these symptoms,
then chances are you're afraid of success.
And it's very easy to tell because, usually,
if you have fears of success,
chances are you have self-sabotage behaviors.
When something works, you don't know how,
you just fuck it up.
It's like a relationship, it just starts getting good,
starts getting serious, you fuck it up.
Business, things are working well, money coming in,
somehow you do some stupid shit, you just fuck it up.
That's fear of success.
Why are people afraid of success?
Because it's the unknown.
You see, people know, they know how to struggle.
They know what it's like to struggle
because they've been struggling their whole lives.
They know what it's like to live paycheck to paycheck.
They know what it's like to not be able
to pay for the bills.
In some way, they're almost addicted to their ups and downs
because to them, when it goes up,
I know it makes no fucking sense,
it's not logical, listen to me.
When they go through their ups and downs,
then when things turn into shit, they make it happen.
They're like being forced back, back to the wall,
they make shit happen, it gives them
a little bit of a sense of self-worth.
Little bit of accomplishment.
That's why they're addicted to that adrenaline
of solving problems and stress.
"Oh, come on, Dan, that cannot be it.
People, that's crazy, It makes no sense."
I know it sounds like it doesn't make sense
but most people, they're actually addicted,
listen to me, addicted to their struggles.
They're addicted to their struggles.
Because that's how they get attention.
That's how they get significance.
That's how they can play the victims.
"Oh man, poor me, it's always me.
Shit happens to me, look at me"
Right?
I'm sure, think about people in your life.
How many of them are addicted to struggles?
Clearly, there's a better path.
Clearly, they could do better.
Clearly, they could improve themselves.
Clearly, they could do it, but they don't.
You see, you just do this, everything will be fine.
No, they just don't because they're addicted to struggles.
I'll give you a very good example.
A friend of mine who I've known for more than 10 years now,
and he's just a typical employee
and he works in a company, and he's struggling.
And the company's going down,
it's gonna go bankrupt very soon.
And I've known him for ten years.
Now, with my connections, I could easily
find him another, better job. And I've done that.
And I've gone, "Hey, you know what? Just go here.
I'll give you the recommendation, from Dan Lok,
you'll get a better job right there."
He never, never pursued that.
Even if he was going to interviews and stuff,
he would somehow, subconsciously, fuck up the interview.
He would say the dumbest things.
He would say something to piss off whoever,
the person that's interviewing him.
And at first, I was trying to help him
and I realized, wow, actually,
this friend of mine, it's kind of sad,
but he's addicted to his struggles.
He actually doesn't, he's so afraid,
because of low self-esteem.
And self-esteem is the foundation of all success.
And I'm not talking about arrogance,
I'm not talking about ego,
I'm talking about your self-esteem.
His self esteem is so low, he doesn't even
believe he deserves a good life.
He doesn't believe that he deserves to be better.
He doesn't believe that he could
provide better futures for his family.
It's kind of sad.
That's why he's addicted to his struggles.
And he would, and I've tried to help him multiple times.
And I've given up.
Because he's addicted to his struggles.
So if you have these symptoms and you're afraid of success,
and you've gotta ask yourself, deep down,
"Is it a fear of failure that's holding me back?
Or is it truly the fear of success?"
"I'm afraid that if this goes well,
it's going to change who I am."
"It's going to, people are not gonna like me anymore."
Or, "How will my friends think of me?"
"How will my parents think of me?"
"How will the people around me think of me?"
Or, "Once I become successful, I'll get more fucking haters
Like Dan, right, on YouTube."
Or, "People will criticize me."
Or whatever it is.
That's what's stopping you.
Not that you don't know what to do,
but that fear,
that fear just stops you.
And the best way to overcome the fear of success,
I believe, is to get comfortable with success.
Is to get comfortable with success.
How do you get comfortable with success?
You only become comfortable with success
when you believe this is something,
it's part of who you are, it's your identity.
So what I do is, that's why I tell people,
"Dress for success."
Get a fucking suit, look better.
When you look at yourself in the mirror,
it's not about the suit.
It's about when you wear the suit,
how do you feel, right?
When you dress in a suit, how do you feel?
Do you feel better about yourself?
That image, and you start seeing
yourself in a different way.
And you know what? This is the way that I dress.
I think I was watching a Facebook video a while ago
and I saw this man going to these neighborhoods,
kind of rough neighborhoods, and he's
giving out these free suits, like tailored suits, free suits
to these kids who, in neighborhoods
where there would be drugs,
there would be like crimes and all this stuff,
and helps give them the self-image.
Suddenly, you can see the kids, teenagers,
when they wear these suits, they feel better.
They act differently, they're more polite.
Why? Because their shifting their identity.
Or maybe, you know what?
Maybe I'm not a gangster, maybe I am a successful person.
Maybe I am a good student.
It's not the suit, it's how you see yourself.
That's a very powerful way to overcome success.
So you gotta ask yourself, what are some of the ways
that you can be more comfortable with success?
Maybe it starts with a suit, it's just an example.
But there are many, many things that you can do.
Maybe in future videos, I'll talk about more of that.
How you get more comfortable with success.
If you want me to talk about it,
comment below and let me know.
And I'll give you some strategies on some practical ideas
on how do you get more comfortable.
If there is enough people asking that,
I'll make a future video based on that.
And also, hit the subscribe button if this is
the first time you watched my video.
My name is Dan Lok. D-a-n L-o-k.
Make sure you watch my other videos.
We've got a lot of videos.
Make sure you hit the subscribe button below.
I think you get a lot of value from what I do.
Make sure, check out my playlist on this side, on this side.
This is what I do on my way to work, on my way to meetings.
I turn the camera, I take the best questions from YouTube,
and I answer in my Bentley.
Until next time, I'll see you in my Bentley.