One Krabby Patty for me
and the Pipsqueak Patty for the boy.
Now wait just a darn minute.
[sighing]
I don't want a Pipsqueak Patty.
I want an adult size Krabby Patty.
The Krabby Patty is too big for you.
You'll never finish it.
Don't you see what you're doing? You're treating me like a child.
The boy's eyes are bigger than his stomach.
[laughing]
And that's another thing, I'm not a boy.
I'm so old, I got hairs growing out
of the wrinkles on my liver spots.
One Pipsqueak Patty.
And your bib and high chair.
[laughing]
Hey, where are those weenies?
Your weenie, sir.
What in the name
of Davy Jones' gym shorts are these?
They're Weenie Patties.
What are you, some kind of nut? You've ruined my weenies!
You're fired!
Ah! But Mr. Krabs, why?
Mister who?
I mean Mr. Wiener.
Just go.
Free Krabby Patties. Step up ! Step up!
You'll never get this chance again, folks.
Free Krabby Patties?
Hey, what's all the hubbub?
Didn't you hear?
Someone's giving away free Krabby Patties.
That's it. [laughing]
Hey, wait a minute.
Aren't you the same guy
what was giving away them rotted chump samples before?
Uh, oh, that wasn't me. That was, uh, my brother-in-law.
Yeah, uh, Flankton.
Oh, okay.
[groaning]
♪ I'm right here to stay When I'm old and grey ♪
♪ I'll be right in my prime ♪
♪ Living in the sunlight Loving in the moonlight ♪
♪ Having a wonderful time ♪
[humming]
Okay, Mr. Krabs, prepare yourself.
Don't bother sitting down cause you'll just stand up
when you see this. Tada!
Great Barrier Reef! That patty's spoiled!
[laughing]
Mr. Krabs, it's not tainted meat,
it's painted meat.
Pretty Patties, available in six designer colors.
[laughing]
Mr. Squidward, come look!
Don't that look appetizing?
Mmm mmm good, sir.
[laughing]
I'm starving.
No problem. Two patties coming right up.
Your Doodle Patty, sir.
Tastes weird.
Yeah, they are a little dry.
Squirrels can do anything they want to.
I bet they can't eat
a Krabby Double Deluxe in one bite.
Give me that.
They don't call me Cheeks for nothing.
[laughing] Thank you. Thank you.
Well, that's just one thing.
That ain't right.
I will never spend money here again.
- Never? - Come on, guys.
These patties ain't worth the paper they're printed on.
Wait! Where you going?!
SpongeBob! What are you doing back here?!
Do you expect the customers to eat this?
And now, thanks to you, they're leaving in boatloads.
Maybe this thing is out of ink.
[sighing]
Hey, Squidward.
Now what?
Oh, you're gonna love this, Spongy Patties.
Spongy Patties?
Yeah, I want you to start using 'em
instead of the other ones.
Where did you get them?
They were just the boxes of patties
we didn't have room for in the freezer.
They turned yellow. You got to keep
those SpongeBob ice cubes somewhere, you know?
You mean to tell me you actually expect people
to pay 1.98 dollars for a rotten patty?
Squidward, you're right.
This instant success must be scrambling my brain.
We'll make 'em 2.98.
Mmm mmm.
Oh. Yum.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, buddy. What the heck is that?
Why, this is a hole, good sir.
You see, I am a sponge, and we typically--
Not that. That.
It's just a little old Krabby Patty
smothered in jellyfish jelly.
I call it a Krabby Patty with Jellyfish Jelly.
Could I try some?
Sure.
Amazing.
That imposter wants a Krabby Patty,
then by Neptune, we'll give him one.
You're dancing with the Krab man, now.
Join me, boy, or you're fired.
It doesn't seem right.
But it feels so good.
Seahorse radish:
the gnarliest stuff in the ocean.
Ooh, hold on, I've got a jar of toenail clippings
in my office!
Oops, I dropped it in the toilet!
Well, fish it out,
and I'll dry it with me gym socks!
Why, that's the most diabolical Krabby Patty
ever spawned!
I call it the Nasty Patty.
[laughing]
I'll take a Double Triple Bossy Deluxe on a raft,
four by four, animal-style, extra shingles with a shimmy
and a squeeze, light axle grease,
make it cry, burn it, and let it swim.
We serve food here, sir.
I got it all ready, Squidward. [gasping]
Bubble Bass.
SquarePants.
I hear talk you make a mean Krabby Patty.
Yep. I hear talk you're... kinda picky.
Yep.
Well, then, here you go.
You think this is funny?
In a cosmic sort of way, yes.
Well, mister funny man,
is this how you get your sick kicks?
What? It's just an ordinary Krabby-
Oh my goodness! Squidward!
Here you go, sir.
A King-Size Ultra Krabby Supreme with the works,
double batter fried, on a stick.
Thanks.
- Barnacle head. - Pardon me?
You forgot your mayonnaise.
Thanks.
Look at them eating that garbage.
It's disgusting.
One Monster Krabby Patty, please.
No one's ordered a Monster Patty in ages.
SpongeBob, one Monster Krabby Patty.
Did you say a Monster Krabby Patty?
Uh, one Monster Krabby Patty.
Monster Krabby Patty?
Monster Krabby Patty? [toilet flushing]
Oh, dear Neptune.
Oh, boy.
We can do this. At the count of three, we flip.
Ready? One, two, three!
[screaming]
[crying]
Triple Krabby Patty
with five scoops of ice cream, please.
Squidward, you see me struggling with this boat
and you act like you don't care.
It's not an act.
I hate to do this to you,
Triple Krabby Patty with five scoops of ice cream,
but I have no choice.
No, no, stop! I don't like that!
♪ You love me double patties And the triple patty's fun ♪
♪ Me favorite's The patty-free patty ♪
♪ Made cheap, it's just a bun ♪
♪ You bought the hatty patty To cover your lack of hair ♪
♪ You tried the briefy patty When you needed underwear ♪
[kissing]
[music playing]
Mmm. Honey.
But. Oh. I have got to get my hands
on a Krabby Patty and no one's gonna stop me.
[belching] Well, that wasn't familiar.
[belching]
You feeling okay?
'Cause there's sesame seeds growing out of your back.
[belching]
What's going on?
Oh. I never shoulda eaten four.
[belching]
The new patties, they're making everyone change!
[belching]
[screaming]
Easy, boy, easy.
Never thought I'd say this, but I gotta get out of this kitchen!
No! Huh?
[screaming]
Squidward, that giant Krabby Patty is on a rampage!
We have to escape!
Do you always go barefoot at work?
Or have I just never noticed before?
Wouldn't this just count as half barefoot?
Squidward, behind you!
Abandon ship!
[screaming]
It's a Krabalanche!