Welcome back to Social Disorder
If you've been paying attention
Chris has won twice
But I came back last week with the nice speed dating win
This week we are doing a garage sale
Where we're compete to see who can make the most money by the end of the day
Catch is we've both set up each others garage sale
and we have no idea what we're gonna be selling.
Yeah so should be very exciting
Because I prepared something very nice for you Aaron
Oh did you?
I did too for you
Good because that's the point of it
No sh*t
For Aaron's garage sale I decided to make him look like the serial killer he is.
That means he'll be selling things like:
Bloody murder weapons
Hazmat suits
Bleach and shovels
poisons
lotions
a freezer filled with body parts
framed hair
teeth
finger nails
a lovely chair with arm and head straps
quiet bags
collections of peoples accessories sorted by name
strange books and movies
an unfinished hair pillow
and lots of other weird creepy stuff
It's an early morning
Chris, if you think I haven't sold a bunch of bloodied axes and hair
you are sadly mistaken
Oh we have a customer
For Chris's garage sale I decided to make him a celebrity stalker
And the celebrities I chose come from a show that's as twisted and deranged as Chris
Apparently I'm a big fan of Friends
Because I'm wearing a Friends with benefits shirt
and everything in the garage sale is Friends
a VHS is fifty dollars
a lovely picture riding a horse
when you asked me to take those photos Aaron
I knew I should've been a little more wary
Hi
Are you a fan of Friends?
Huh? And it's a hundred and fifty dollar?
Yes these are the best seasons
Oh really?
So what they do is they sit there and they just drink coffee exactly in mugs like this
Oh really?
Who's that?
I don't know
No no no who is it?
Aah!
Alright thank you!
Morning how are you doing today?
Alright
A lot of stuff is going pretty quickly and I've been telling everyone this hair in frames says two dollars a frame, I'll do it for a dollar a frame.
I look for jewelry
The closest thing I have some uh human teeth and some nails
You do a bracelet, or a necklace necklaces are popular with teeth
This is a strange monkey thing
But you can make bracelets out of that if you wanted
Okay
I'm gonna take that anyway.
Alright
Thank you!
Okay thank you!
This is weird
Are you a fan of David Schwimmer?
This is a blueprint for his entire house and look I even made notes on how to break in to his house or just visit his house if you go in around 3 am to get things
he generally just sleeps right through it
and it includes this
This is a once size fits all
One size fits all
It'll fit him too
Thank you!
They keep running off!
How're you doing sir? You looking for anything in particular?
I'm a reader
What's your book genre of choice?
I like murder mysteries
I like how to get away with murder books
Like those are always interesting to me
Yes
It's a Chuck-E-Cheese Coin
It's a Chuck-E-Cheese coin!
You ever go in?
No I'm not allowed in Chuck-E-Cheese
Oh thank you for the Chuck-E-Cheese coin
Yes
Do you want to take some meat with you? For the-with that book?
You know you read a book
Have some meat
Yeah there you go
It's a saturday
Well now that's a nice axe
This is a good axe
This
Yes that's a splitter
Just
Yeah
Right down the middle
Especially like if your running with it
Oh no never run with an axe
Oh never. I run with knives too! Just about anything I can get a hold of you know?
Whatever's opportune
Yeah
Five dollars for this axe
And you can clean up the dirt and
The blood
Red stuff off of it
Yes
It's a good axe
It's a beast
Yeah thank you sir
It's gonna be a good day
Yeah it is gonna be a very good day
These were all on the set of friends at one point
Uh-uh
uh huh huh
How'd you get all that?
Oh these you could just sneak right in
At night
They don't care
Really?
Yeah
Are you all doing a garage sale as well?
It's a neighborhood garage sale
So do you have anything with friends?
No
No? You should check out the stuff I got
These are actually cards I've written to Mathew Parry
Oh yeah?
Hey Matt I can't believe you're a year older! You look the same as you did on the pilot of friends haha
Anyway I know you don't answer my other birthday cards cause you've been busy
But I'm still madly in love with you
It's-it's kind of jokey
So do you send these out?
They got return to sender
Oh okay
Did you ever meet any of them?
Uh yeah yeah
Lisa Kudro
This is her pepper spray
Oh yeah
Yeah
Cool
You are guaranteed to have a wallet a watch and sunglasses in every bag! Sound good?
Yeah
Yeah lets do it!
And I'll throw in the wig
Cause I know you guys like the wig
Matthew Perry
voodoo doll
This matthew perry voodoo doll was responsible for the failure of the movie the whole 10 yards
Ohhh
I knew something was responsible for that
It was me
If the glove doesn't fit, you musta quit you know what I mean?
Yeah I'll sell 'em to you for two dollars
Two dollars?
Uh fifty-fifty dollars
Fifteen
Five dollars
Dammit
See? They can play together?
Check out this mug
It's a f*cking ass great mug
No thank you
Do you like friends?
Or birthday cards?
Or crossbows?
We got it all!
Check this out!
One dollar!
Hey kid
You like VHS's?
Go convince your mom that you really really want it.
Yea she'll buy it.
I'm sure she will.
Tell your mom you really want to see it.
We're gonna give you business we're jahovah's witness
We're just sending our ministry
Uh yeah
Um I'll make you a deal
I'll read through this entire pamphlet
If you buy
This jar of matthew perry essence
so what that is is so matthew perry he went to the bathroom and then the red stuff is actually preserrvatives
really?
yeah
all right! sweet!
here you go!
um so fifty cents
sure
all right enjoy your matthew perry essence
no problem
we got some chloroform here which is very good
what do you use it for?
uh you just you just use it as like uh you know as a relaxant basically is not you can smell it if you want
no
okay
no thank you
That's a good chair actually you see if your falling asleep you kind of put your head in it so you lean back and your head is not gonna move
okay
good art
some of my original pieces
this is uh some might call batcat
it is a bat
with the head of a cat
bat cat
mhmm
yeah
dammit
check this out
what were you doing there?
just like this
yeah
fifty cents
i'll buy it for you for fifty cents
alright
thanks dude
no thank you man
how much is your doll on the floor?
its listed as thirty five
but i'll give it to you for less
no man i wanted a female for my nephew
well this is a male.
aww okay
you might like it?
look he sits perfectly in here
five dollars
thank you so much
come on david
this is real this is
okay
you don't get that sound if its not real
oh
windy for me but
if you want you can cut me out
no no no
and then just-and then have two
two dollars for all three poisons
no
i guarantee you that's good poison
alright
do you like friends?
Si
Amigos?
Um, you know what's universal?
pictures
a dollar
25 cents?
10 cents?
How you doin' in sales?
Pretty good, man
No on'es buying anything
Thing is, it's very specialized, you know what I mean?
I'm kinda getting screwed over by someone
yeah
50 cents
Oh, thank you sir
Thank you so much for the stuffed animal. thank you
thank you
I don't have a hammer, but, uh, I do have some voodoo dolls
With the cast of friends on it
Aw it looks like he has a hammer
go to mr. popular over there
mr. popular
Those are good gloves, sir.
Very little, like, evidence or anything on them
Thank you
You won't be caught with those gloves, I'll tell you that
Purse, glasses, and a watch?
And uh, so this is Mary's bag
Mary, was uh, like yourself, a garage sale enthusiast
Come on, baby, this stuff is...
This cooking book
Uh, a purse?
What do you think about this?
I hate Friends more than anything on this earth
I wanna get rid of everything, I just wanna get rid of it.
I hate Friends
My least favorite show of all time
The police are here
Got tons of good stuff
Look good in a wig?
This, uh, is a good wig
Uhhh
Looking for anything in particular?
weird stuff?
Well I uh, I got, teeth in here
yeah
Pretty unusual items to sell for a garage sale
Well I mean it's Halloween
This is the entire first, second, and third season
But I don't have a VHS anymore
You could probably find a VHS player really cheap
This, this is uh
It's like a keepsake
And this is Batcat
I'm pretty proud of this one
What? yeah
It's 2 dollars
*sound of stuff falling off table*
Uh, sorry
Is this some of the stuff you had, your girls, or that you wore?
I mean, the bigger shoes I can wear
But, uh, you know some of it's from mom and some of it's from girlfriends
*tape being smashed*
yeah
fist bump
yes, thank you very much
(singing) I'll be there for you
(singing) when the rain starts to pour
(singing) I'll be there for you
(singing) da da da da
So if you can't tell already
I won this episode
Thank you very much for watching
Please click the Courteney Cox wig to subscribe
And uh, thanks
You're supposed to be my friend Aaron
There are no friends in this, this series
Next time on social disorder
Aaron and I are tour guides
As we take people in a limo to famous historical locations around Austin
However, we're each in charge of each other's limo route
And so we don't exactly give the most historically accurate tours
Has anyone else on your tour tonight been terrified?
If you like Social Disorder and you want to support us than you can click this shirt and go buy it
Or if you want to use reverse psychology
And screw us over by not supporting us
But really supporting us
Then click this shirt and you can buy it