Hey there, people of Earth.
I'm Carly Shay and this is our very first webcast
of a little show we call iCarly.
- She is Carly. - She is Sam.
- Sam I am. - Carly, Sam.
I think they're clear.
Hi, Shelby, remember how you promised
to go easy on me and not really hit--
[gasping]
[slow-motion screaming]
[slow-motion crying]
Listen, doing iCarly for you guys
has meant so, so much to me,
and it's changed my life.
It's kept me out of prison.
Most of the time.
Show's been a lot of fun.
Welcome to the new iCarly.
[cheering]
Ooh, looks like she's already got a few viewers.
Probably bots from Brazil.
This is still iCarly, but it's grown up now.
So today I thought I'd share my skin care routine.
According to the many, many targeted ads I get,
it's never too early to start using...
anti-aging products!
Even for baby Spencer!
Yay!
- So, listen, I need a favor. - Shoot.
I have to tape a bunch of auditions at school on Saturday.
- Fun! - Yeah, not really.
Anyway, would you let me borrow your video camera?
- I would. - Awesome.
Though I can't.
Why not?
[laughs nervously]
It's that...
I made it into a squirrel.
[growling]
[screaming]
[upbeat music playing]
♪ It's an all-night party That we're getting into ♪
♪ If you think it's all over Then the joke is on you ♪
♪ It's a dream, it's a scene And it's all brand new ♪
♪ If you think You can stop... ♪
Thanks for taking care of me.
Come on.
We both know I'm a big, tall, goofy man-child.
You took care of yourself.
Spencer, this is amazing!
Well, there is one more thing,
but, I don't know, maybe it's over the top.
Well, we wouldn't want that!
May I sketch you?
Are we about to live up my Titanic fantasy?
Y'all know how that movie ends, right?
What do you think of my equipment?
I just asked to borrow your video camera,
what is all this?
Well, that's a 3-chip high-def camcorder
with a hyper-cardioid condenser microphone,
mounted on a carbon fiber tripod with a low-drag fluid head.
I also brought you juice and a bagel.
Lewbert rented me this place for only a hundred bucks a month,
and now my mom--
[loud crashing sound]
It's all right. That happens
whenever somebody uses the elevator.
[sighs]
Hey, there's no bathroom in here.
There's a sink.
[shuddering]
Tomorrow I promised Gibby I'd help him do some research
on the proper care and feeding of weasels, so...
I figure the sooner I get all this equipment out of here,
the sooner I can take it down to...
Hey, Barracudas.
Whipping up a big meal is hard.
With all the different recipes and ingredients and timing,
who can keep it straight?
That's why I created Bon Appetimer,
the app that takes the guesswork
out of kitchen work.
Just drag in your recipes
and the app alerts you every step of the way.
- My mom... - Oh, my God...
How dare you teach Freddie
something as dangerous as fencing?!
Mom, you don't know anything about fencing.
It's not dangerous.
I know more about fencing than you think.
You're coming home with me right now
and having a tick bath.
I don't have ticks!
That means the baths are working, aren't they?
[screaming]
I have been waiting outside for nine and a half minutes.
So?
So, when you were ready to be born did I keep you waiting?
Yes, you were pregnant with me for 11 months.
I wanted to make sure you were done!
Mrs. Benson, you're kind of drawing a crowd.
Oh, are you all Freddie's friends?
No, no, no, Mom, they're not all my friends.
Who wants to see his baby pictures?
You girls want a little taste of a Fencin' Benson?
[growling]
[screaming]
[grunting]
[screaming]
Puzzle time!
I separated the pieces into several piles.
Freckles, dimples and skin tags.
I don't see any pieces with facial stubble.
I know, I had him photoshopped smooth.
Agh, puzzle piece cut!
Not to worry, I have miles of gauze.
B-R-B.
Would you like to dance?
Dance?
Look, I don't want to sound rude,
but I really didn't come here to dance.
Could you just interview me about the web--
Nevel!
I stole a kiss upon your cheek,
and now another kiss I seek.
Seek some tapenade!
You wanna prove you're sincere?
Then drink from the shoe.
This wahoo punch...
- Is it organic? - Drink it!
[sighing]
And now...
[robotic voice] Why are you doing this to me?
[turns off]
[silence]
No one can hear you scream in a purple robot costume.
You can't take the head off.
It's magnetically sealed.
Is it really so insane to think
an epic love story spanning decades
could finally land on happily ever after?
Oh, please.
I know your epic love story with Prunella is a lie.
You're right, but my love story with you is the truth.
Eh?
Come on, Carly, no more cat and mouse.
It's time to let me catch you.
What do you mean, you can't let us leave?
I mean that tonight
was the first time in my life I was ever popular.
You are angels that were sent to me to change my life.
I can't let my angels fly away.
Nora, we have to go.
No, I can't let that happen.
It's bad luck if you don't have some birthday cake.
Well, it's not really your birthday.
It is, too!
Whether it's technically my birthday or not,
we're all going to pretend it's my actual birthday!
Do you understand?!
Ah, you know, I was just scaling the side of the building
and noticed your window was open, so...
Boop. [laughs]
Y-You scaled the building?
Please, don't tell my parents,
they think I'm at Cold Stone Creamery.
[laughs] You still live with your parents?
That's so...
normal...
That's a lot of Pee Wee Babies.
Oh, that's nothing, I have 223 more in the closet.
I guess that's why you're here, for cool air?
- Kind of. - Uh-uh.
But not for me.
- I brought my Pee Wee Babies. - Oh, my God.
Look, they're really valuable,
and if they get too hot or too cold, I mean,
- they could become misshapen. - Misshapen.
Everyone get ready for a...
sandstorm!
I'm Freddie, VIPDS for NSD.
And I'm Griffin, VIPPSC of NSD and EST.
Not a licensed hypnotist.
And I'm Carly.
I understand you put some flyers up all over the school.
Yes, I did.
Why would you Photodock my head onto the body of a rhinoceros?
- Well, I... - Rhinoceros?
Oh, no, no, no.
She made you a hippopotamus.
No, no. She's a rhinoceros.
A hippo has fatter thighs and a wider snout.
The animal doesn't matter!
It's our very own principal from Ridgeway High School...
[both] Principal Franklin!
[cheering] Whoo!
[cheering]
- All right! High five! - Yeah!
Come on!
Now, is there some special reason why you're here?
Yes, there is, Carly and Sam.
I'm here to say a special happy birthday
to one of your biggest fans,
my daughter Emily.
[cheering]
All right, Gibby...
I know, I'll start shutting things down.
No, you won't.
We can stay open?
You better.
More hot meat for everyone!
[cheering]
I come bearing a gift.
Remember when Ms. Briggs asked all of her students
to write letters to their future selves
to be delivered on their 27th birthday?
Oh, yeah, the "where do you see yourself in 15 years" thing.
She said she was going to deliver them herself.
Well, she was supposed to,
but she canceled at the last minute.
She twist an ankle? Break a hip? She fall down a well?
Please tell me she fell down a well.
Oh, no, she's fine.
She just hates you.