[accompanied by creepy background music] ♫ One, two, Feddy's coming for you ♫
♫ Three... ♫
[Bootleg Zones theme kicks in] Fuck! Did I just say "Feddy"?
I meant "NIGHTMARE Feddy"!
[Bootleg Zones theme continues]
Ohh... you had eluded me for a while, Nightmare Feddy, but welcome to MY nightmare...
The Bootleg Zones!
Wait, no that doesn't make sense.
But yes, I am really happy I was finally able to track down one of these Nightmare Feddies for the show.
If Feddy doesn't wake up from a nightmare, then he doesn't Feddy at all!
What?
I've got to say, besides the amazing name, the Nightmare Feddy box does also feature some pretty
sweet artwork.
I mean just look at "Freddy" there. He can't believe he's called Feddy now.
It seems this year it was a little too warm to wear a sweater for nightmaring on Em street,
so Feddy, y'know, kept it a little cooler with a t-shirt.
And I suppose that's probably Nanky's house he's coming up on.
Or running away from. [as Burne Thompson]: Oh! Feddy, you idiot!
Okay, but seriously, how many garages does Nanky's house really need?
The Nightmare Feddy box doesn't have any company name attached to it anywhere.
The only thing it does say is... not a shock.
Considering, though, the style of this box and size of the figure, my best guess is that Nightmare Feddy was also
put out by the same people that made Bat Hero and Robert Cop.
I mean, besides the package AND figures being similar between these three,
it's also a very similar way of distorting the real character's name.
Though t-shirtin' Feddy definitely got the best box of the three.
Wait a second... the actual Feddy figure isn't wearing a t-shirt at all!
You lied to me!!
So far though, Bat Hero's the only one of these figures that has deserved to be hung,
as Feddy is secured by twist ties around the waist and ankles.
Out of the package and Feddy smells pretty musty.
So, this has probably been sitting in someone's attic or basement for quite a while.
And even though it's not depicted on any of the artwork, Feddy does in fact come with a hat, but, um...
Wow.
Well, this is definitely the cheapest thing with this figure.
Just, fucking yikes. A thin plastic hat? Like, really Feddy?
Really?!
[to the tune of "Do the Freddy" by The Elm Street Group] ♫ Do the Feddy ♫
"Ahhh! My hat sucks!"
Though besides his stupid hat, his silly footwear is probably the other most amazing article of clothing Feddy chose.
"Ahhh, nothing quite beats invading people's dreams in comfortable loafers."
Yes, seriously.
[fake dramatic voice]: Fear Nightmare Feddy's loafers!
And of course Feddy doesn't wear socks with his loafers. Why would he?
Especially when his feet apparently didn't get burned along with the rest of him.
Never mind. As it turns out, fire just can't penetrate clothing.
I guess at least Feddy won't have to worry about the faces coming out of his chest and ripping him apart.
[obvious sarcasm is obvious] But just look at that arm. That is, uh, seamless, I tell ya.
Hey, Feddy. I know you think you're cool shit since you can invade people's dreams and all,
but don't get such a big head about it.
"Heeeyy! You forgot the Powie Glove!"
[Still talking to his doll] Oh, seriously, Feddy. You're so lame sometimes.
So uh, yeah, the blades on Feddy's glove aren't particularly impressive.
I'm guessing they didn't make them very long just so that they wouldn't break off easily.
I guess that's just a common concern with Freddy Krueger knockoffs.
Really though, besides his overly cheap crappy hat, this is a pretty decent Freddy Krueger doll.
His head actually does have some pretty neat details on it.
Though he could be a little less cockeyed and enamoured with the floor.
Feddy is kind of an odd mix between decent quality things and some real garbage-y junk.
He's got a rubbery head and arms... Well, PART-WAY, his arms are rubbery.
When you look at him shirtless (and, come on, who wouldn't want to look at Feddy shirtless?),
you can see the scarred flesh detailing only goes about halfway up his arm,
and they almost look like gloves over his regular arms.
[dorky voice]: Maybe Feddy is just a POSEUR!
*coughs*
The rest of the arms and body are just a hollow plastic, so if this WAS made by the same people as Robert Cop
and Bat Hero, they did cheap out a bit here.
I suppose the trade-off is that Feddy gets actual fabric clothing and some super comfy loafers.
He's got basic articulation at the arms, head and legs, though the leg joints are kinda weak as one broke off on
me, and then I tried to glue the joint back together, but it would break off every time I tried to pop the leg back in.
I'm guessing the leg peg got caught in that giant gash in the middle of it, as I tried to move the leg around
and then the plastic was so weak that it just decided to pull itself apart.
The paint detail like everything is also a bit of a mixed bag.
I like what they did on parts of his head, but the eyes definitely could have looked a little less doofy.
Also, that is one pathetic plastic piece of crap hat.
5.
I can't lie, creativity isn't "Feddy's" strong suit.
It's a Freddy Krueger knockoff that just dropped off a single letter in his name.
I do at least like though that they made an original mold Barbie-sized Freddy toy.
3.
Nightmare Feddy is certainly a bit of an oddball.
The fact they actually let you play dress-up with him was an interesting choice,
and who doesn't love that face?
Besides him occasionally wanting to place plastic trash on his head,
Feddy enjoys terrorising in the comfort of his silly, silly loafers.
8.
♫ Feddy, Feddy, Feddy ♫ It's such a lazy and nonsense name change, I can't help but love it.
They could have just given him a completely different name, but no, they decided that nonsense was better,
and I couldn't be happier.
The box itself features some pretty sweet artwork as well,
and they at least put a little effort into the "Nightmare Feddy" logo.
10.
If one of his legs hadn't have snapped on me, the score would be a little higher.
The other main detractions are his overly short blades on the glove and that completely useless hat.
Besides those hiccups though, it's got some aspects that actually make it a decent larger-scale Freddy toy.
5.
And the Bootleg Zones overall is 9!
Again, if it wasn't for Freddy's bum leg and that cracking-up cheap hat, he would have gotten a 10.
I love that stupid "Feddy" name and the oddity of Feddy's footwear.
[Bootleg Zones theme again]
[Eddie Kramer]: Boy, it sure is tough balancing being incompetent at my job while also being an
overprotective asshole to my girlfriend Shauni!
Oh my God! I think she's cheating on me right now!
[Shauni McClain]: I'm playing with a dolphin, you fucking moron!
[Eddie]: But that dolphin's got better moves than me, though!
[Mitch Buchannon]: Edgar, what the hell is this shit?
You make me get up from eating my burgers? You do that again, and you're fired! Got it?
[Eddie]: I really hate that have to do my job at my job!
[Mitch]: Hey, Shauni.
♫ Dooooooooooooooo you want to fuck me right nooowww? ♫
[heroic music kicks in]
[Eddie]: WHAT?!! AAAHHHH, SHAUNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!
Eddie to the rescuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuue!
Oh no, someone precariously left a hat on the beach. Luckily, I'll just jump over it.
[music abruptly stops as Eddie trips on the hat anyway]
Consciousness... fading...
*gasps for breath*
Gilligan's Island crossover... intimate [sic]...
[Shauni]: Oh Mitch, why'd you have to do that to the poor dummy?
[Mitch]: Hur-hur. 'Cause he sucks.
[Eddie]: Ah! Ah! Did I wet myself?
No! Hah-hah! Eddie wins again!
Hey, fellow lifeguard who's oddly wearing a sweater at the beach. Have you seen my girlfriend Shauni?
Whoa, cool glove.
I put a glove on once, and it crushed my hand, and I had to stay in the hospital for a few days. Anyway...
Shauniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
[Nightmare Feddy]: *sighs* Really?
[Eddie]: All my worst fears, come true! Shauni, nooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooo--
[thud]
[Feddy]: He just knocked himself out in the dream?! *groans* I guess I gotta go deeper.
Oh! Oh! Oh! Girlfriend! Girlfriend! I just had the most terrible dream!
[Girlfriend Feddy]: I'M your girlfriend now, Eddie!
[Eddie]: OHH MYY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!
[Feddy]: THIS is God!
...
[Eddie]: *faints*
[thud]
[Feddy]: How does this seriously keep happening?!
[Shauni]: Mitch, Eddie's not dead, he's just knocked out!
[Mitch]: No, I'm pretty sure a burial at sea's what Eddie always wanted, burgers.
[Shauni]: It's Shauni. [Mitch]: Yeah, I know. Get me some burgers.
[Shauni]: *sighs*
[Mitch]: Oh, wow, who's the sexy new lifeguard?
Nightmare Feddy? What are you doing here?
[Lifeguard Feddy]: Well, turns out if someone sucks enough in the dream world, I can just actually switch
places with them! It's a lot easier than that crap I was trying to pull in Elm Street II.
[Mitch]: But this isn't a Nights episode. Shoudn't you be waiting for me on that hit show?
[Feddy]: Oh, you're going to have a new nightmare waiting for you there, Mitch. A much weenier one:
Nightmare Eddie!
[Nightmare Eddie]: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--
Oh wow, these loafers really are comfy!
[Feddy]: Damn it, I need my loafers back!