Hey tWitch? tWitchy?
Yes?
I left my singles at home.
But do you take Venmo?
You know, we can make that happen.
Yeah.
This feels like a private conversation.
Um.
I do feel like we're kind of nailing
this whole hosting thing.
I kind of feel like we are too.
[CHEERING]
I mean, I can't say I'm surprised.
Because this isn't our first rodeo.
No, it's our second.
Because I forgot that the other night,
we actually co-host of the Democratic debates.
Hello America.
Thank you for joining us tonight.
We're your debate moderators.
And these are your presidential candidates.
Let's start this debate out on a positive note.
Can we see your smiles?
Show us those pearly whites.
Very nice.
Oh yeah, Lizzy Warren.
OMG.
Ooh.
OK.
There they are.
Don't hate it.
Uh, Bernie?
You're up, buddy.
Oh.
Don't wave that finger at me.
Come on, let's see it.
Ooh.
Quiet anger.
I like that.
Don't like that.
Why the frowny face?
I mean, I can do that face.
Oh yeah.
Me too.
That is absurd.
Come on, give us a smile!
Come on, Bernie.
You are such a silver fox.
Thank you.
We love you.
But we're terrible with names.
Yeah.
Is your last name pronounced Budda-judge?
Or Budda-jig?
I think it's Buddy Fudge.
Buddy Fudge sounds right.
Buddy Dig.
Butta-dig.
Definitely.
Trust me.
It's Buttaguy.
It's definitely got a but in it.
I trust you to choose what makes the most sense for you.
OK, you know, we'll just call your Booty.
Booty Judge!
I like that.
That's the one.
It's got such a good ring to it.
I think that's a good one.
It's super professional sounding.
It's original.
I'll give you that
Mr. Yang.
We love the no tie look.
Love it.
Tell us a fun fact about yourself.
My father grew up on a peanut farm in Asia with no floor.
Fascinating.
Congrats on those nuts.
You did it.
Mm-hmm.
So let's talk about something more serious.
Mm-hmm.
How do you feel about Popeye's running out
of chicken sandwiches?
I don't like it.
Neither do we!
Joe, listen to this, OK?
Apparently, Popeye's still has chicken.
But you got to bring your own buns and put it together.
It can not be put together.
Let me say it again.
It will not be put together.
Well, I think we've seen enough.
Good luck America.
Oh, we got them.
Here are the buns.
Oh.
I don't do carbs.
OK.
Oh, that's just the pieces.
Just not nice.
Good night!
Good night everyone.
[APPLAUSE]
That was the highlight of my career so far.
Just when politics couldn't get any more ridiculous.
There we are.