thank you to squarespace for sponsoring this video hello and welcome back to the bliss bean i usually
consider myself to be a pretty independent introverted person i like working on stuff
on my own i usually did not like group projects in school and so i've always been the type of person
to just be like i'm good i'm fine i don't need anyone else but what this past year has really
shown me is that i actually really miss doing collaborative work i miss having people around
me to keep me on track and inspired and it is really hard to self-motivate yourself all the
time especially with this really difficult year that we've had so i got myself an accountability
buddy and all of my problems were solved it won't fix everything but i will tell you that
since i got an accountability buddy i've had the longest streak of good mental health days that
i've had since last summer so there's my glowing testimonial of the power of having a buddy so why
might one look for an accountability buddy i look for one for two main reasons the first was that i
had this really big multi-faceted project with a strict deadline that i really needed to complete
and then the second reason was that i just wanted some sort of daily accountability to keep me on
track and not fall into a slump as has been my tendency as of late so what can an accountability
buddy do for you let me tell you the four things i've listed here in this google doc so number one
is a buddy can help you meet specific goals that you both agree on these can be big projects or
big milestones that you're trying to meet and your buddy can just make sure that you get to
the finish line of that they can also help you with smaller daily things like making sure that
you keep on top of your habits through doing consistent check-ins they also provide a really
nice fresh perspective because it's always helpful to bounce ideas off another person they can offer
you ideas for challenges that you're facing that you might never have thought of and then
number four is that your buddy can just provide moral support which is always really nice so if
those four things sound appealing to you i would recommend before you go and start looking for
a person to be your accountability buddy i feel like i'm just gonna say buddy from now on because
accountability buddy is a tongue twister figure out which of those four things is most important
to you and what qualities are you looking for in your buddy are you looking for someone who
has very similar goals to yours and will then understand exactly the specific challenges that
you're facing or someone with different goals who might provide a fresh new perspective for you are
you looking for someone who is super strict and won't let you get away with anything or someone
who just showers you in encouragement and positive reinforcement there's a lot of different ways to
structure an accountability buddy arrangement and a lot of different styles in which to support
your buddy so it's important to know what you're looking for before you think through your network
and who might match that so if you're looking amongst your friends for a buddy just remember
that not all friendships are the same so you probably have some friends who are a lot of fun
to hang out with but whenever you are together you just cannot focus or get anything done so
while that might be the perfect friend to call on a friday night they might not be the best
match for an accountability buddy you also might want to think about your not quite friends your
acquaintances you don't necessarily have to know your buddy on a super personal level in order for
the accountability buddy thing to work in fact it might even work better because let's say you
like writing and you're in a writing club and there's this person at your writing club who you
see once a week so you're not best friends but you have similar interests they might be a really good
match for an accountability buddy because you probably have similar writing related goals but
when you have your meetings you probably won't get as distracted because you just don't know
each other that well so you'll be more likely to keep it professional if that makes sense and then
finally the internet is a big and wonderful place sometimes a little scary so just be safe i'm gonna
plug our vibe lead group here so if you're already a member of that just skip past this section
but we have a community on this app called viably where we have weekly personal development
challenges and group chats about all sorts of different topics so for this week the challenge
is actually to find your own accountability buddy so you might remember when i did a video about
pen paling all these people in the comments were introducing themselves and pairing themselves to
be pen pals so that's basically what we're trying to do this week on vibely you can post what you're
looking for in a dream buddy you can comment on other people's posts if you think you might
be a good fit you can actually communicate and message that person right within the app and then
periodically we will have challenges for you and your buddy to complete together so it's gonna be
great and you should join us for my accountability buddy i picked my friend taylor because we had
been talking a lot but our friendship was pretty new and so i felt comfortable with her but i also
felt like it was a good way to continue developing our friendship i also knew that we had some
similar goals because she had told me that she had been wanting to write more and my goal was also
writing related so it was a perfect match thank you so much to squarespace for sponsoring this
video you're probably watching this on youtube but the main home of the blispin is actually
on my squarespace website so it's where i compile everything i do on the internet basically and it's
a really good way to brand myself and to showcase all of my work in a really professional way by
just easily designing a drag and drop website so let me show you some of the pages that i have on
here this is my worksheets page where i basically used image and text blocks to compile everything
in one place this is all great stuff to fill out with your buddy by the way wink wink i have this
page where i use their built-in blogging feature to compile all of my videos and podcast episodes
in one place i have a podcast page newsletter you can even sell products on squarespace using their
e-commerce features so you can take a look at my website if you want to just for an example
of what can be accomplished with squarespace because i'm pretty proud of it if i do say so
myself and then you can head to squarespace for a free trial and use my code theblissbean for 10
off your first purchase of a website or a domain okay so you have your sites set on a buddy how do
you reach out to them so i reached out to taylor by texting her and actually telling her that i was
planning on making this video and that i needed someone to do an accountability buddy experiment
with basically so that i would have material for the video i also explained to her how our writing
goals matched up and luckily she said yes so i didn't have to deal with any rejection i think
it's good to have like an initial meeting to set things up um if you can't do in person then a call
but definitely be talking to each other because it's more personal than just texting or emailing
or anything like that so go over some questions like what will our goals be what exactly are we
keeping each other accountable for how often do we want to meet in person or over the phone how
often do we want to do text check-ins and updates are there any activities you want to do together
so for example a lot of people will set a date to go to the gym with their accountability buddy or
to study together or to go to a coffee shop to get some writing done you also might want to do a test
run maybe just a week whether or not it's someone you knew super well beforehand just to make sure
that you're a good match for this type of thing you've probably heard about smart goals so i don't
think i need to go over it too much but try to set goals that are specific measurable attainable
realistic and time-bound that way it's very clear either you did the thing you said you
were gonna do or you didn't it helps both of you to understand and take action on your goals and
it helps your buddy to know exactly how to check in with you to make sure that you're on the right
track so for example for that first week the two things i told taylor i was gonna do was i was
gonna spend two hours every morning writing and i was gonna move my desk to a different part of my
room for just a fresh perspective so those were both very clear objectives i either did them or
i didn't when it comes to your meetings it's up to you to decide the frequency so taylor and i
decided to call each other every weekend but that might be too often for you especially if you have
an accountability buddy for like a very specific purpose so if you have a running buddy and your
shared goal is to run three times a week for a month there's really nothing you need to discuss
during the month you just decide your goal at the beginning of the month and then talk about it at
the end of the month if however you're like me and taylor and your accountability buddy is more just
like an overall life slash mental health buddy in that case it can be helpful to have lots of
opportunities to talk about new stuff aside from our weekly calls taylor and i decided to also do
daily texting check-ins so the first thing that we started with was in my journaling in
my morning journaling i had been doing this thing where i would write down three good
decisions that i could make that day and this was all great and fine except for the fact that
when only you and your journal know about it it is very easy to just skip doing the thing because
there's literally no consequences and so taylor and i decided that every morning we would text
each other three mini goals that we had for that day those might be task related like i will finish
editing this podcast today or just little habit things like i will go outside today i will take
pomodoro breaks to break up my work or i'll go to bed by 10 pm or just mindset related things
like i will make sure to be present and enjoy this event that i have later today about halfway
through our time being buddies taylor also came up with the idea to text each other three things
we were grateful for each day in the evening and that was also something that i had already been
doing in my journaling i had been doing it in my day one app and so it was very easy for me i
barely had to change anything i would just take a screenshot and send it to her but i think it
does make a difference because it's nice to just share that with someone and to share the gratitude
in terms of how you communicate with your buddy there's a certain balance that you have to strike
because you want to actually be helpful and so if they don't do something that they said they were
going to do you don't just want to always brush it off and be like whatever it's fine i forgive you
but you also don't want to be like why didn't you do it huh huh you always want to be encouraging
improvement so if they did something well cheer them on be specific be like this is what you
did well and i'm very proud of you for doing that if they didn't meet their goal then maybe
you can help them figure out exactly why that happened and what they can change the next time
i kept my accountability buddy notes in this journal so if you watch my journaling video
this is my special journal this is not used for daily journaling this is used for special occasion
journaling i would definitely encourage you to have a place to write down all of the things
that you and your buddy agree on and talk about whether that is a notebook or a note in your notes
app or a whole page in your notion setup so in my notes i would write down the date that we called
what i agreed to do that week and then throughout the week i would just make little notes for
anything that i wanted to talk about at the next meeting maybe what worked or didn't work that week
ideas for the next week tools or techniques i'm thinking about trying just anything that i wanted
to tell taylor about i think you're more likely to stick with this accountability buddy thing if you
make it fun so here are some ways you can make it fun first of all really pay attention to and care
about what's going on in their life if you know that they're having a difficult week for example
you can send them a special note or a surprise gift or something like that you also don't have
to keep it all professional and business slash goals related even if it's not someone you knew
super well beforehand try to just keep it at least a little bit light and fun send them an
inspiring quote that you find or a meme that reminds you of something that you talked about
if they appreciate memes and i truly hope that you can find an accountability buddy who appreciates
memes because that is what you deserve taylor and i the first time we called we actually made these
shared spotify playlists one for writing and then one for uh energy mood boost whenever we needed it
we didn't actually end up using these playlists a whole lot but it was cute okay so some things i've
learned after now doing this buddy experiment for like five six weeks now i'm not even sure when we
started when you do have those calls or meetings it's good to schedule a couple of those in advance
because if you just try to schedule it each week it just becomes a whole mess
of going back and forth and back and forth and trying to find a time that works for both of
your schedules for me one surprising thing about this was that the most important and impactful
aspect of this was actually our daily check-ins because previously when i would hear the term
accountability buddy i always thought of it as something that you do when you have like a very
specific goal that you're trying to reach but it actually made such a big difference in a time when
we're all working and studying virtually to just have someone who you talk to on a consistent basis
who you knew was there to be a listening ear hype you up encourage you motivate you not necessarily
be pushing you towards some super strictly defined goal but just to be there for you that the value
of being there for someone and having someone be there for you i think cannot be overstated
so that was my guide to finding and having an accountability buddy as i said at the start of the
video this has been so so helpful for my mental health it of course has not fixed everything
nothing fixes everything but i think we're all just looking for little things to implement to
be incrementally happier and healthier and this has been one thing that has helped me so i hope
maybe it also helps you as a reminder you can head to the description for the link to our vibely
community where you can find your own online accountability buddy i hope you enjoy this video
and i hope you have a great rest of your week and thank you so much for watching this video bye
you