Heya playa, are you at that point where you're ready to ask someone to be your boyfriend
or girlfriend but you don't really know how to go about doing it?
Don't worry, in this video, I'm going to explain how to go about doing it, what you should
do beforehand and what to expect afterward.
For those of you that are new here, my name is Josh and every single Monday through Friday
I make videos sharing tips, ideas and stories teaching you how to be your best self now
before you ask someone out I think it's important to ask yourself have you done these things
beforehand.
First off, have you hung out with the person enough or gone out on enough dates with them
beforehand?
A lot of times people want to jump into relationships without really dating beforehand so what exactly
is the difference between dating and being in a relationship?
Well, I would classify it like this.
If you're dating that means you guys are spending time alone really just getting to know each
other better.
You're learning each others hobbies, interests, what you do on the weekends, what your families
are like, all these different kinds of things so that you can decide whether or not you
want to be with that person.
Now, what does it mean to be in an actual relationship?
I think on that level that means you're really deeply connecting with a person.
You're spending more time interacting with their world.
Being a part of what they like to do and having them be a part of what you like to do to see
if you guys are truly compatible.
And if you haven't really dedicated that time to see if you guys truly click, then being
in a relationship is going to be an awkward experience for you.
You're going to have this label attached to the two of you but you're not gonna feel like
you're living those values.
The second thing you might want to make sure of before you ask someone to be your boyfriend
or girlfriend is to make sure they have that permission from their parents.
Far too often people agree to be in a relationship only to find out later that hey, I can't be
in a relationship because my parents won't allow me to.
Now there are things you can do if the parents really aren't on board with it.
I made a video over here that you can check out but basically, still spend the time getting
to know them, connecting with them, and when the two of you are old enough then you can
jump into that relationship you want.
Now when it comes to actually asking them to be your boyfriend or girlfriend, I think
you should be as direct and simple as possible.
Sometimes people make things very convoluted and confusing always leading up to the question
of "What are we?
Are we boyfriend and girlfriend?
Are we really dating?
I don't know".
I would say something as simple as this "Hey, I really enjoy spending time with you.
I feel like the two of us really connect so I want to ask you to be my boyfriend or my
girlfriend, I think we can really build something awesome here".
Or the alternate more modern version "Yo, I've been sliding into your DMs enough, imma
start calling you bae, aight?".
Don't, don't say that one.
I'm putting it out there on the table but don't use it.
Don't use it.
Now once the two of you agree to be in that relationship, you're going to have to work
out a system of communication.
Far too often people reach out to me and say things like "Hey, I'm dating this guy or I'm
dating this girl and I never talk to them.
When I see them in the hallways I just walk past them because I'm too nervous to interact
with them."
If the two of you are boyfriend and girlfriend and you're too nervous to talk to them, you
did not follow my first rules!
Go back to the beginning and watch the beginning of the video.
What was I talking about?
Oh yea, a system of communication.
A system of communication is something as simple as this.
Have a way to communicate with that person openly and freely.
For example that might mean "Hey, every Wednesday night we're going to facetime with each other",
"We're gonna talk on the phone every other night" or "We're gonna text each other every
single day".
Having that way of communicating with them makes things easier.
It kind of allows the two of you to look forward to something and to work within the system
so it isn't just up in the air.
Something you should really know though is that being in a relationship is going to require
more effort than just dating or even just talking to that person.
The person on the other side is going to expect more involvement from you, more communication,
you being there more often.
So you need to ask yourself, is that something you're willing to commit to?
Are you willing to dedicate that time to the person you want to date?
If not, don't make things official.
Now when it comes to boyfriend and girlfriend in person, this is where I see a lot of people
get all flustered.
They're nervous about people judging them for holding hands, being with that person,
talking to them, they think that rumors might spread so the easiest thing for them to do
is to hide it.
Pretend like they're not actually in a relationship.
Now, this is something I am totally against.
I think if the two of you hide the fact that you're in a relationship and you don't play
it up but instead you play it down.
Maybe you pretend like you don't actually know them or everything is done in secret,
it's going to hurt the relationship.
You guys are not really going to feel that boyfriend and girlfriend togetherness and
eventually, you're going to break up.
Now you might be thinking, Josh how do you know?
Well, I know because it happened to me.
When I asked out my first girlfriend I did it with confidence but afterward, I was a
little too nervous to be her boyfriend in school.
We just acted like we were friends whenever we interacted with each other and eventually
it just broke up the relationship.
If you want to learn more about that piece of the story, check out the video over here
where I talk about the breakup that I had with my first girlfriend.
One lingering question you might still have is whether or not you should ask them to be
your boyfriend or girlfriend in person or over text.
I think you should go with what you're more comfortable with because keep in mind, you've
already dedicated time getting to know them, getting close to them, really building something
with them so whether you do it in person or over text, it's gonna be ok because the two
of you are already close.
All you really need is that official stamp on things to get it moving.
But those are my thoughts, now I want to know what you think.
Is there someone that you want to ask to be your boyfriend or girlfriend but you're afraid
they're going to say no or you're just going to mess up in doing it?
Leave your comments down below and we'll talk about it.
On that note guys, thank you so much for watching.
If you enjoyed this video hit the thumbs up button and definitely check out the playlist
over there on the side where I go more in depth on relationships in terms of building
them, asking someone out, really just making them work overall.
On that note guys, I'll catch you tomorrow.
As always, love and peace.