60 minutes overtime
hello how may i help you guys we are here to get some help he's in bed okay so we're going
to come on in here and if you just want to have a seat like here and here and then yes
like find out how things have been going since you were here it was about
six weeks ago so things i think they've improved some abby is able to verbalize how she is feeling
about the situation with her friend and how you know it made her feel we're so excited that um
her friend has returned to school oh good and i remember like you know like it sounds like you and
haley had worked out like just some communication like how are you feeling thumbs up sideways all
of that stuff are you guys still using that or are you using other techniques or oh is that something
you need to continue to work on huh somebody's not following it is that what you're saying oh okay
asking a lot of questions i'm trying okay to not ask her a lot of questions about you know
back to back rapid fire like how you doing what you feeling what you're thinking so it's it's
work for me too okay do you feel like when you come home mom has like a whole list of questions
and have you figured out a way to like give mom that look like
uh how about one question mom and then we'll kind of see how that goes i just walk into my room
do you at least answer one of the questions and she says how was your day at school i'll say good
and then they go tomorrow okay okay can you catch yourself when you're like
oh i just asked 10 questions yes i will see when she walks away that i made a mistake
and i try to dial it back in okay and give her that moment in that space okay it is hard i
mean i'm one that i ask a lot of questions so sometimes i have to look at my kids like
oh shoot i went too far what about like as far as your mood has that changed like have you noticed
any changes in your mood i gotta i got a little better it did it definitely after being here
i know that was a really rough time yeah you're talking about yeah yeah like your boots has gotten
better since you were here in your mood when i asked questions i hear you're in track right
so you're getting some physical activity you and mom are working on like just some communication
things are there other things you're doing that you're like that has helped my mood
even like sunlight and stuff like that have you noticed things you're doing that make your mood
feel better um yes i'm actually in a group called the rose group at my school oh what is that about
it's about girls who like it's a great it's all girls group who go through things and like they're
we all are like friends and we're all in one group we just talk about stuff we actually have an event
coming up tomorrow we're going to be cleaning up sherman park center sherman boulevard all that and
we also just won an internship from the green bay packers awesome okay so like maybe things
were like here when you came in in march and slowly you're like yeah things are going better
what about like okay so mom's checking in with you kind of like how are you doing
what about like safety where are you guys at with safety like do you feel like okay if
she weren't feeling safe she would let me know are you do you notice things that you're like
oh i'm just kind of feeling like we have to have a talk or something like that like where are you
guys at with that yeah we have our uh safety plan that they gave us okay um and we reviewed it when
we got home okay and she is really close with my mother and father really really close with my
mother her grandmother okay so she will say like i need to go to granny's house or i want to talk to
granny and that's her safe you know okay place yeah yeah when she needs to feel she needs to
retreat okay um and we came up with that with our safety plan right remember we wrote that on when
you guys sat down and like after the assessment and then you sat down and kind of like okay who
who are your support systems what are your coping strategies what are some of your coping strategies
i like to go down what to calm down yep to calm down like or if you're feeling really sad or if
you need to be safe is there something you know like what is that like i think that there's a
few different coping strategies what do you what do you like to use so me and miss haley we made a
a little game okay it's called five senses okay you pick five things to hear
four things to taste i think three things to smell right now three things to hear
two things to smell like one thing to taste okay and are you able to tell your brain that like when
you're starting to i don't know feel sad or if you're starting to get really irritated because
mom's asking a lot of questions are you able to be like okay but wait we gotta play the haley
game the haley game okay yes i can do this okay and then um what are some of your warning signs
that like if you're starting to feel really sad or you're starting to feel maybe unsafe
what are some of the things that you notice that your body does or like mom would be like i've
noticed this and this and this and those seem to be the warning signs so i need to check in
well some of the warning signs is like i just stay in my room my door closed most of the time
so like if she come if i hear her loud really walking through the hallway i know and if she
like hears a whole bunch of noise going in my room like stuff doing being thrown around oh okay
okay so some of your warning signs are you throw things and maybe you're in your room with the door
closed not really spending time with family are there other things like do you notice that like
my sleep is off i'm really irritable i don't really do my homework you know like
some of that stuff oh oh yes it's definitely um really pulled back from the rest of our family
door closed really muted in either body language or verbal communication okay okay and i know like
when you came in there had you know that there was an incident that had happened the night before
that had you really stressed and had you really feeling alone and like not wanting to tell mom but
then you were worried and that had to have been a really icky feeling for you and then you came in
and you guys talked about it and kind of came up with some contracts and stuff like that
has that helped like your communication like with one another like if something's going on because
you know you're 11. we don't expect you to be perfect right i notice when her mood changes
she kind of retreats and if i push too hard then it just kind of collapsed down okay so
um i know that's something that we can both work on meeting each other in the middle okay
even when we may feel like we're really really far apart is that something that you agree with
so we can work towards maybe having a better understanding of each other's
intentions yeah i can work on that and make sure that i'm communicating
my intentions with abby directly and clearly um for the reason why i may ask questions or
say hey let's sit down and talk so okay i think we're getting there yeah we have some some ways
to go and with the team you know you'll get it figured out and then you'll start over
okay because like sometimes as a parent we we we want them to go to us as a parent but then
we're like oh my gosh if they have an adult that they can talk to i would rather them talk to an
adult because i don't i just i know that when kids have adult issues that are in their head it just
and then you become more depressed and that's kind of what we talked about why we were coming here
initially is because i said this is an adult thing and mom even though mama is an adult i don't have
all the resources to help guide you through all of that that had happened so we came here to get that
help for both of us for you to get the help from someone to talk through that yeah and then for
me to be able to have the tools to help as well what was the most helpful thing when you were here
it was helpful to have a plan okay um to to really sit down and talk about what happened how we felt
in the moment and then what we were going to do in the future okay for both of us not just uh
for me but for specifically for abby as well yeah um and then the follow-up as well to make sure
that we have those ongoing resources okay what was most helpful for you because i know that you
were really sad and that there was a lot going on what was the most helpful for you when you came in
last month well they had took on a box it was like a green bed and it was a whole bunch of
fish the fidgets yeah that box this box was helpful okay and what was helpful about this
did it make it easier for you to talk like you could i was using this one oh
okay do you have fidgets at home do you have those things oh yeah i got puppies but even
but you're like i'd like something like that huh because sometimes hey you know what sometimes
when you're talking about hard stuff it's kind of nice to just kind of have something to fidget with
and stuff like that what else was helpful when you came here um the way that they was talking
to me that was helpful there wasn't like just trying to get to the point they were trying to
like see how i was doing before like they wasn't just trying to get information okay so at least
you felt comfortable when you came here like your physical needs were taken care of yeah and then
they weren't scary to talk to or anything like that and you came up with a plan
and i mean okay anything else that was helpful did you find the safety plan helpful
yeah okay because i mean i think i think like you said like sometimes you come in and feelings
are really high and you're kind of like i don't i don't really know what to do with it
and whoa wait there was a lot that happened last night and i have a lot of feelings but i need to
get my daughter some help yeah and where do i start and how do i navigate this this mental
health web and all of that okay definitely um a safe haven for both of us we talked about it on
the way home afterwards that having the therapist and the social worker in here you know they made
us feel both really comfortable to just freely talk without feeling like anything was wrong right
like no we didn't we couldn't say anything wrong i don't have they said like this is a safe space and
they went through their questions but then said okay let's let's talk through it and sometimes
especially when emotions are really high on both sides that talking with a neutral person just
kind of gives us some clarity i mean because i mean that had to have been very scary for you
yeah yeah it is it's really good that you can have that support system yeah and that you know like
if you guys are in crisis you can always come back here too you know like so it's not like
you had your crisis this year sorry you can't use it again i mean that's what we're here for is like
families that if something happens and like all of a sudden you're like i don't know what to do or
you're like i need to talk to somebody my emotions are really really strong right now and you know
like maybe it's after school and like haley isn't available that you know this is another option