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(lady) I mean, it seems like the female tail spikes
would just castrate the male's, which just rules out
- our entire rear-mount theory. - Right.
Well, we can keep working on it.
Yeah, well here's a theory I've been working on.
So maybe the female lays down on her side like this
and he rears up over her like this.
Well, what happens to that leg?
Does it just snap off?
Oh, she would just adjust.
Hank, the hips don't move that way.
You have to think about it from the female's perspective.
I do think about the female.
- Okay. - I think about the female.
A few studies have cited that alternate variations
on the missionary could work like this here.
See, that's nice.
Yeah, but he weighs so much. His legs are so little.
I don't think he's getting back up again after that.
Okay, but how about if they were mounted
somewhere against a wall...
Sex against the wall?
Well... in a tree or something. You know what I mean.
(scoffing) That is an adventurous theory coming from you.
Well, tell me about your favorite theory, Hank.
What is it? Sex in the water?
(loud splash)
Yeah. Well, that would deal with the weight problem.
And they'd be able to buoyant, to be close enough to pair.
Sex in the water is not that fun. It's very difficult to lubricate.
Well, maybe not every time.
You know, just like special occasions
like they're on vacation or something.
Maybe they just don't do it the same way over and over
and over and over again.
How about we go back to one of your little theories?
We've got the male behind the female, but he doesn't get castrated
by her tail spikes because--
Ho! Ho! Yeah, here we go again with the six foot penis.
I'm just saying it's not impossible, Hank!
Who has a six foot penis?
Nobody in your family.
What does that even mean?
And why would I want a six foot penis?
(smarmy chuckle) I mean, it would be useless.
It would be a nightmare!
I would be a pariah.
I got it. The male, he digs himself a hole.
Okay, he digs himself a hole.
He lies in it, upright.
The female comes over, she jumps on him
and she just starts pounding him!
- (toys squeak) - Pounding and pounding him
until she gets off and then she eats him!
She eats him for dinner.
And then she has enough strength to last through the winter without him.
They were vegetarians. You know that.
- Maybe they made exceptions! - You know what I think?
I think she willed the plates onto her back
just to have an excuse not to have sex!
Oh, it's her fault.
Well, he's rock hard and ready to go every single night.
You know why?
'Cause he's been listening to Mr. and Mrs. T Rex next door
- and they've been goin' at it! - (scraping)
And they've been scratching at each other and just going wild!
They are not having sex, Hank. They are fighting!
They're having sex.
They're fighting!
Uh, I've seen them through the window.
What if the stegosauruses never went extinct, huh?
What if they just decided that they grew tired of each other
and they were ready for other sexual partners
like the nice brachiosaurus from across the street
who's tall and sweet
and doesn't lay all over the leather couch without his clothes on.
Oh yeah. Good luck with that.
Wait 'til he finds out it takes two hours for her to [bleep].
You know what, Hank?
You and me? We're extinct!
No, I wanted to say that!
That was gonna be my line when I broke up with you!
I'm taking this.
- That's my dinosaur. - It's mine now.
(awkward silence)
(door opens and slams)
So no one actually knows how a stegosaurus had sex?
Nobody knows! No.
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Is the thing about the T Rexs next door gonna be on the test?
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