Steve, honey, what are you doing?
You may come to regret asking me that,
Francine. Huh?
I started cleaning out my closet and spotted a few choice mags.
Decided to drop trou and fire off
a few mortar rounds of Dreamy Stevie's Thick and Creamy --
Steven Anita!
What is wrong with you?!
Wrong? I feel better than ever.
Uh, I forgot to go to the zoo today.
Hayley: Avoid Lisa's Dry-Cleaner's at all costs.
While I've never had anything dry-cleaned here,
the owner's attitude toward potential customers
needing to take a dump in the employee bathroom
shows me they more than deserve a one-star rating.
Oh, Francine, I need you to get the paperwork going
on a divorce with Jeff.
Time for me to do some big game hunting,
if you catch my drift.
What the...
[ Gasps ]
Eh, nothin' to watch on the tube.
We could always make whoopie, Al.
Peggy, I'd rather bang a bowl of beans.
[ Laughs ]
Stan, have you noticed that the kids are acting...
strange?
Probably 'cause I altered their DNA
so they're more like me.
What? Why?!
Look, I've tried to teach them to hack it in this world,
but I'm not getting through to 'em.
It's time I stopped blaming myself and start --
I don't remember you blaming yourself.
Exactly, 'cause that would've been a mistake
and I don't make mistakes.
It's not in my DNA,
and now it's not in theirs, either.
And to be honest, this town could use a few more Stans.
This town could use more Buffalo Wild Wings locations,
not this.
Francine, have you ever looked at someone
and just known they needed to get CRISPR'd?
Does CRISPR have anything to do
with that syringe you're holding?
No, this is liquid kisses.
Liquid kisses?! For me?
Peggy: Screw you, Al Bundy!
[ Laughter ]
[ Laughs ]
Me too, guys.
Together: Quiet, fish!
Whoa, we're really on the same page.
Burt Bacharach seems like he should be dead by now.
Whoa!
Who--
Stan: Great parking spot, right, guys?
Hell yeah, and check this out, pops.
♪ A-ding-a-ding-a-ding ♪
Together: ♪ Bring back those good old days ♪
♪ Those, those days ♪
♪ We mean those days when the boys sang the melody ♪
[ Laughter ]
Could I have engineered a more perfect family?
My chin dropped.
Oh, mama.
Get over here.
Whoo, that is hot, that is hot!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, get her, Dad!
Yes, uh, can you guys keep it down and maybe leave?
We don't open until 5:00.
Then how did we get this pitcher of beer, Sally Mae?
I think it was the steak knife you held to Daniel's throat.
Did Daniel open his little bitch mouth?
I got this.
Whoa, come back here, hon.
I like the initiative, but let's all tone it down a notch.
Tone down my dick, Daddy.
Wow, walked right into that one.
We're...alive.
Oh, look.
The ski resort.
Oh, baby, Lewis needs soup in a bread bowl!
[ Rumbling ]
Shh! You'll cause an avalanche.
What are we gonna do?
I brought some cherry syrup,
so I'm sellin' snow cones.
Ooh, I'll take one of those.
Sure.
$1,000.
You rat.
[ Tools grinding, clanking ]
When did you guys do all this?
We've been working all night.
The race is this afternoon.
You guys have become real self-starters, just like me.
Like you?
You slept until what? 6:15?
You lazy sack of eggs.
[ Laughter ] Ouch.
I've never been on the business end
of the sack of eggs treatment.
Steve, were you gonna secure the valves on the flamethrower
or did you want it to leak out and kill us all?
Maybe I'll get on that after I secure my fist in your mouth.
Whoa! Son, that's no way to talk to your mother.
It's just a little trash talk, Dad.
You better grow a pair before the race.
Cup check!
It's 6:20 in the morning.
Cup check!
We already knew I didn't have one.