- Heya playa, today I wanna break down
the difference between hanging out with your crush
and asking them out on a date.
Is there a difference, are they the same thing?
How does your crush view it?
I'm gonna explain all that right after this.
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Now I'm sure some of you are trying
to think about this rationally,
hanging out with them might be seeing them in school,
or spending time with them and their friends,
but a date is one-on-one,
spending one-on-one time with them is a date.
There's no way to break that down.
So, can you hang out with your crush one-on-one?
Or is it always a date?
I like to look at it like this,
what was your intention in asking them to hang out?
Did you ask them to hang out just to spend time
with you, to accompany you in doing something?
Or, do you see it as an opportunity
to get to know them better to qualify them in some way?
To see if the two of you are actually close enough
and you can actually build on that closeness
to create something from it.
So if you ask them out, and you are not even sure
what the two of you are doing,
chances are your crush is just as clueless.
So, your crush is gonna have to pick
what they think that thing is.
If they see it as a hangout,
most likely they're gonna tell themselves,
we're just friends, that's all we're doing right now,
I'm only gonna see them as a friend
and then going forward every single time
they interact with you,
they're gonna move you closer and closer
to the friend zone, or they're gonna see it as a date.
If they do see it as a date,
then they're gonna have expectations of you, as well.
And those expectations are gonna be even higher,
they might be things like, is this person getting close
with me, putting their arm around me?
Are they joking around a lot with me?
Are they really paying attention to the way that I look
and the things that I'm saying?
If you don't meet that caliber and they think it's a date,
then chances are there's not gonna be a second one.
They're gonna immediately write it off
and say, hey, I don't really vibe with this person,
I'm not gonna go on a second date with them.
But if you're following down the friend zone path
and they start to see you as only a friend,
then, yeah, they'll hang out with you
over and over and over because
they're not expecting anything from it.
So, you wanna make things very, very clear
as soon as you ask them out.
That doesn't mean telling them that you like them
or telling them how you feel right off the bat,
I made a video all about why you shouldn't tell
your crush how you feel, right over here,
you can go check it out,
but the whole point really is to make the intention clear
of what you want from that experience.
So how do you make that clear
without outright telling them that you like 'em?
Well, the first step is to solidify
why you wanna spend time with them,
and that might be saying something like,
you're a really cool person and I wanna get to know
you better and then you can ask them out on a date,
check out yesterday's video to see
what type of date fits best, but,
the second step really is the key step here
and that is when you're on the date with them,
when you're spending that time with them,
you're moving up in getting closer to them,
you're not just staying stagnant.
So many people just stagnate when they're on a date.
They spend the entire time just kind of casually talking
to the person, not really going into any deep topics,
not really doing anything that teases them
or flirts with them, but just kind of trying
to maintain status quo so the person doesn't get annoyed
or things don't get awkward and when you do things
like that you're showing the person
that you're not someone that they really want to date
and you're showing them that, hey,
maybe you're better off as a friend,
which is not what you want, right?
You need to flirt with them
and that might mean complimenting them
on the way that they look or on something interesting
that they said, you also need
to be physically present there.
You need to show them that you're not afraid
to hold their hand or to put your arm around them,
all within reason of what they feel comfortable with.
But, you need to kind of be present in a romantic way.
If you don't bring that to the table, then yes,
you're gonna start veering down the hanging out path
which is friend zone territory.
Now one little detail that we probably shouldn't overlook
is that if your crush flat out asks you,
"Hey, are we on a date?"
Don't backpedal, don't say something like,
"No, we're just hanging out,"
or, "No, what do you think it is?"
Because when you do something like that,
when you show that lack of confidence,
they're gonna immediately put you in that first category
which is hanging out and think you guys are just friends.
Your crush is gonna wanna see you act confident
and being confident simply means believing
in the things that you're asking them to do.
Believing in yourself, showing them that you actually
are going after what you want,
that's what true confidence is.
And if you don't bring that to the table,
then it's not a date at all.
And finally, how you choose to end that session with them
is gonna help them understand way better whether or not
you're just hanging out as friends
or if you're actually on a date by saying something like,
"I really enjoyed the time we spent together today,
"I feel like I really got to know you
"and I wanna keep learning more about you,
"so, why don't we hang out again next Friday?
"Let's see if we're both free
"and I'll contact you tomorrow."
By saying something like that,
you've solidified for them that you really like them,
that you wanna get to know them better
and you're already planning the next step.
You're not kind of just passively saying,
"Hey, well that was fun hanging out,
"maybe we'll hang out again, maybe we won't, eh?"
You're letting them know where you stand
and that is super important.
So, for someone that has spent one-on-one time
with their crush and you weren't really sure
whether or not you were hanging out
or out on a date, leave a comment down below,
explain your story and I'll do my best to give my answer
and tell you what I honestly think it was.
Also, if you're someone that's never gone on a date before,
tap on the playlist right there
on the side to watch more videos
on how to kinda get that first date going.
These videos are really gonna help you kind of make
those moves happen so you can be your best self
and show that to your crush.
On that note guys, I'll catch ya tomorrow.
As always, love and peace.