We know this is a lot of heavy news tonight.
Violence affecting our kids here at home
and 1600 miles away in Texas and tonight.
So many parents are finding themselves
preparing for or already having some
tough conversations with their children.
I want to bring in doctor Linda McGee,
a clinical psychologist and Doctor McGee.
Thank you so much for joining us tonight.
I guess the question really is how do we
start this kind of difficult conversation?
Well, I say first make the
space to have that conversation.
Don't try to do it on the fly.
Sit down with your children and have
the space to start talking about this.
And of course as I always say,
do it in a developmentally appropriate way.
Reassure them that you are doing your best
to make it as safe for them as possible,
that schools are generally safe,
and again with the little
Children Elementary school kids,
you want to reassure them that they're
safe in middle school and high school
children are going to have more
opinions and thoughts about violence in
schools and all of the policy issues,
so you want to really emphasize them,
answer their questions,
try to be as truthful as you can.
But Lizzie I wanna just say that we
have to do this all in the backdrop
of everything else that's going on.
We have a we're we're still in
the middle of a pandemic and so
our children are stressed.
And so I want to emphasize that point
that we still have to be cognizant
of the fact that we're talking to
them in light of the fact that they
are already stressed and anxious
and depressed at record levels.
And so we want to gauge how we.
And calibrate how we talk to them based
on the fact that they're already stressed.
And you know,
we may wanna let up a little bit
on these kinds of discussions based
on where your child. Is right now.
So if your child hasn't asked you about it,
or maybe they're younger and
they don't know about it,
it sounds like you still need
to start having a conversation
because they may hear it.
They may overhear kids talking
about it at school.
How do you even start it
with the younger ones?
What do you say to them?
I would presume that they would all know.
First of all, I would not presume
that they don't know because they
talked to each other and even
children as young as elementary
school have access to social media.
If not, their friends do and so you
want to start with just the basic
facts about what what happened.
Children were hurt in a school and their
teacher was hurt and you want to just
start with the basics you want to like,
have a discussion and give them
opportunity to ask questions.
And then you want to maintain
some sort of normalcy.
Maintain your home routines
and your family's routines.
But you don't wanna run away from it.
You don't wanna like.
Avoid questions and you don't want silence
because children fill in all gaps.
And they make presumptions.
And they jump through conclusions.
And they have fantasies in their minds
about what actually is happening.
If you create that void by your silence,
your silence. Is saying something to them?
It's probably not what you wanted to though,
so don't avoid it.
There are some kids who are still
traumatized here in our city from the
shooting that happened near Edmund Burke
School and the tentacles for that.
There were a lot of kids who were
locked down, not just at the school.
And of course, the children.
There had a very different traumatic
experience and we are still thinking of them.
I wonder you know,
how do you answer a question if
your child says to you am I?
Going to be safe at school
because we have to be careful
how we answer that question.
Well, that's why I started out by saying,
contrary to some advice,
is that to say that I'm we're doing our
best to make you as safe as possible and
without guaranteeing ultimate safety.
I just feel like that right
now we should be honest.
We should say, schools are generally
a safe place for children.
Very few things happen in children.
In school, but we also wanna like
empower them by looking out for
themselves and keeping alert.
So we wanna talk to them about being
active participants in their own safety,
you know, and you can do that in a way.
Again, depending on the developmental age of
your child in a way that doesn't frighten.
You know you,
you reassure them about the general
safety of schools and you help them to
be participants in their own safety.
This is heavy for the little ones,
the middle ones and the high schoolers,
but also for parents who are thinking
about parents tonight who will not have
the chance to tuck in their children
and have these last conversations.
How do we? Make sure that we're OK in the
scope of these kinds of conversations.
Again, parents report their own
mental health is under stress.
1/3 of Americans are reporting signs
of depression or anxiety right now,
so my message to you is parents
is to take care of yourself and
you too limit your social media
exposures and your news exposures.
No offense, Leslie,
but to turn it off sometimes and
to really take care of yourself
and to bring your family.
Close to reassure yourself and
your kids of general safety,
but this is the time too,
to talk to kids about respecting others,
loving others, respecting differences.
Because we see that we are becoming
more and more divisive and I just
want to emphasize that it's that
you can't divorce all of this.
Talk from divisiveness and to just
really talk to our children about
loving and caring and respecting others.
Indifference?
Well, we should be doing that even
when we're not dealing with this
kind of heartbreaking situation.
It is insightful information for
all of us Doctor Linda McGee.
Thank you so much for your
time tonight. Thank
you. You're having me, Leslie?