If you want to be more interesting and memorable with your friends or new people you meet,
you need to follow few simple rules that go with the human nature and not against it. These rules
are simple yes, but far from easy. They are simple enough that everyone can do and they
WILL work 100% of the time, but they require time and effort, because if you want to become
more interesting, you need to change something fundamental about the things you already do.
Before we start we need to be on the same page and define
what Interesting actually means. It can represent different things to different people,
however according to the Oxford dictionary it means “arousing curiosity or interest;
holding or catching the attention”. And once we agree on that definition, that to be interesting
is to catch someone's attention and interest, be memorable and make them want to spend more
time with you in the future, we can move on to the science and actual ways we can do it.
We need to briefly explain the science part and why we find things interesting,
and also how our brain is wired up to ignore things that are NOT interesting. Our brain is
interested in new things. Studies around the brain’s reaction to novelty have suggested
increased dopamine levels in the context of novelty. The reward pathways evolved to detect
things that are novel to us, and when we first encounter something new we feel curious about it,
it catches our attention. And if we go back to the oxford definition of interesting,
it is exactly that, arousing curiosity and catching the attention.
But the other side of the coin is that, our brain apart from being fascinated by new things,
it actually tries to ignore objects and activities that are not interesting.
In the early days the computational power of the brain was so expensive that it tried to reduce
the work it needed to do. Everything that wasn't a threat or a possible reward, was slowly ignored.
Things that weren’t new or so to say interesting slowly faded away from our perception.
And as we evolved with the same brain, unfortunately, that is also true today.
Things or even people that are not interesting are going to be perceived as less important and
memorable. That is sad, but its the harsh reality that we live in. So what can you do to fix this?
Well with the understanding of the human brain and its relation to novelty,
there are two problems that arise in modern society that are making you less interesting.
The first is people trying too hard to blend in. This is a irrational fear that dates back when
we lived in tribes. Back then you had to blend in, because if you said something out of line or
did something the majority of the tribe didn’t like, you were risking the possibility of being
banished - and that spelled certain Death. And today, people listen to the same “popular” music,
watch the same movies, go to the same clubs. Share the same opinions, agree when everyone agrees,
and they disagree when everyone disagrees. When they talk they are scared to say something out of
line to avoid being judged or perceived as weird, and answers like, “not much, same old same old”,
become their norm. Slowly they become invisible to the brain, slowly they actually succeeded
in their goal. They blend in, became dull and uninteresting. The first tip to be more
interesting is to fight the urge to blend in. You need to say what you think, share your opinions,
stop caring what other people think of you and project yourself forward. Because literally there
is nobody like you alive or dead in the entire human history. Being yourself and embracing your
uniqueness, while having the courage to speak your being forward will make you interesting
by default. Unfortunately we try so hard to be like others, that we stop being ourselves.
The second problem lies in your comfort zone. It would be a lie to say that today we don’t live
in the most comfortable conditions known to man kind. Food is readily available,
screen entertainment is a given, a warm bed and a roof over your head is non-negotiable.
Its so easy to sit, relax and enjoy your comfort zone in all of its security. But it would also
be a lie to say that comfortable is good for you, as comfort can become a poisonous habit.
You cannot be interesting if you don’t try new things and expand your horizons. There’s no easy
HACK or 5 easy things you can say to be more interesting. If you want to be more interesting
you have to BECOME more interesting. You have to BECOME the person that explores new possibilities.
The person that hikes, reads books from hundreds of years ago, learns how to draw, goes scuba
diving, writes songs, learns how to code, tries ice skating, develops new hobbies, interests in
the arts, history, sciences. Its hard, but it will undoubtedly benefit you in many dimensions.
You’ll start to grow, and as you try new things, you’ll gather wisdom and stories to tell others,
and in the process become the most interesting and memorable person you know.
These 2 tips, trying not to blend in so you don’t become invisible to the brain, and expanding your
comfort zone constantly to experience life on various levels, will guaranteed make you the most
interesting person in the room. Also, things like confidence, social skills, humour can also help,
but doing these 2 things will give you 80% of the results. And deep down inside,
maybe your goal isn’t to be more interesting to others