After six years of splitting,
stretching,
and firing distorted particles at one another,
we finally have a product.
Cream.
Facial blemishes will be a thing of the past.
How about this botched nose job?
This amputated stub isn't a challenge for Cream.
Hold on! How's that possible?
Using our smart awareness system,
Cream detects the most likely problem and attempts to solve it by
correcting the molecular structure.
Even quite vague problems,
such as general ugliness.
Instant fixes for:
Any kind of aging.
Fractures and lacerations.
The recently deceased.
What the hell?!
But Cream isn't just limited to the human body.
Everything broken can and will be fixed,
Broken is no longer an issue.
I don't understand, Mum.
What's happening?
Ah, yes.
The implicit formulation of dynamic wave computational elements allowed time step size to be selected according to accuracy requirements.
Awww
A damaged mind is no longer a life obstacle
If treated with a Cream brain injection,
worries, doubts, mental conditions and general stupidity
are all now curable.
What is your name?
I have yet to be assigned a name.
Well? Choose one.
Arnold Pillington Smythe.
It's a bit silly that name though isn't it?
I have to agree with you there, Steve.
I wasn't thinking straight.
I don't feel very well, Daddy.
Not only do I feel better, but I am also a better person.
Feeling empty and bored now all your problems can simply be Creamed away?
Yes, Cream has taken the magic out of life.
Well, Cream it back!
Hooray, my enthusiasm came back.
Cream yourself happy! Cream the world beautiful.
Cream, the everything fixer.
Because Cream is the fix-all cream, it is constantly fixing and improving itself
To be submerged in Cream is to continuously improve yourself in every way possible.
Is he dead?
No, he exponentially improved himself physically and mentally
to a zenith of absolute perfection,
subsequently evolving into a being of pure light energy.
Is it uh, possible that you will eventually run out of the raw material to make the Cream?
Yes, we are about six months from running out completely.
which Is why the new version of Cream will have self-duplicating properties.
Cream is now potentially infinite.
Cream could bring an end to all war, famine, and suffering. Rendering money essentially obsolete.
No...
No.
No!
No...
Cream causes AIDS and is made from dead babies by paedophiles, a shocking new report confirms.
Here is some terrifying footage
That was a huge explosion!
Loads of people died and it was all caused by Cream.
People are being urged to throw out all Cream immediately.
Food piracy is a crime.
You wouldn't duplicate a life-threatening disease.
You wouldn't duplicate a kestrel.
So don't duplicate food.
If you eat duplicated food, you'll get AIDS.
But what do the public think, are they angry about Cream?
Yes, I am angry about Cream!
I don't want three different types of AIDS! how do I know what's safe to eat now?
My neighbor Creamed himself to become a god-like being of pure light energy.
Now I'm pretty sure he is just watching me in the shower!
New Cream, the wonder cream that fixes all spots and blemishes.
Simply massage it into the face and within a week your skin will be clear and smooth.