Hello and welcome back to Life’s Biggest Questions, I’m Ron McKenzie-Lefurgey.
Vodyanoy is a popular character in Slavic Mythology.
He is a Vodnik, a water spirit found in tales from Eastern Europe, known for his love of
breaking things and drowning people.
But what if this mystical and often menacing creature actually existed, and was found in
the real world?
Let’s explore.
If you want more What If videos, check out our “Biggest What Ifs” playlist on the
channel.
Now get ready, it’s time to ask the question: What if Vodyanoy was Real?
Vodyanoy is a water spirit found in Slavic mythology.
He looks like a naked old man, with a green beard, long, scraggly hair, and a face like
a frog.
His body is generally covered in algae and green residue, with black scales underneath.
He has the tail of a fish, webbed paws in the place of hands, and eyes that burn like
embers.
He's said to splash his way down the river, riding on a log.
Sacrifices were often made to appease the creature, because it’s said that when angered,
it could be highly destructive and dangerous.
A disgruntled Vodyanoy was known to destroy dams and bridges, and even attack and drown
nearby people.
Worse yet, legend states that he sometimes drags unwitting victims down to his underwater
lair, where they would be forced into slavery.
It should be noted that other depictions of the creature do exist.
In Czech, Slovene, and Slovak folklore, there are many such creatures, called the vodníci.
These are generally believed to much more resemble humans, wearing strange dress, with
a few amphibious traits as well as gills.
In these stories, a Vodnick can be good or evil, with only the evil ones drowning people,
while the good ones are often seen as benevolent.
This video, however, will focus on the Slavic character of Vodyanoy.
So, how might the world change if there was a water spirit yanking people down to his
underwater lair?
Well, it might change a good deal.
Especially in modern times, humans exist mostly outside of the food chain.
In much of the developed world, animal attacks like this are quite rare.
If people could be whipped off their feet and drowned, or else put into slavery, there
would be a definite sense of peril.
Of course, if there was one Vodyanoy attack a year, it might not be too big a deal.
But if it was relatively common, as the mythology seems to indicate, it would cause a good deal
of unease, and would become one of the most common fears on Earth.
It should be noted that he might not be a danger year round in some people.
Vodyanoy is often claimed to hibernate during the winter, when the ice is frozen.
This could lead people to become anti-snowbirds; rather than leaving for Florida when the weather
gets cold, many people might be inclined to move someplace cold as it warms up and the
ice thaws, especially those who had personal experiences with the creature.
That said, moving might not be necessary.
As I hinted at earlier, there do seem to be ways to appease Vodyanoy, and even to convince
him to help you.
Stories vary a good deal, with various local beliefs as well as Christianity finding their
way into the legend.
Some claimed that making a cross over your chest before entering the water would please
him, while bathing on the holy day would make it more likely that he would attack you.
Due to his penchant for pipe smoking, some fishermen believed that sprinkling some tobacco
on the surface of the water would cause him to help you catch fish.
However, the most common, and most unfortunate, ritual pertaining to Vodyanoy, was sacrifice.
It wasn’t uncommon to sacrifice animals to him in exchange for his favour, as with
a number of other such creatures and deities.
This is something that would be fairly common if Vodyanoy was real, especially if these
sacrifices really did help to prevent attacks.
On the other hand, as cultures developed, the idea of sacrifice would become more and
more unsavoury, and there would be a good deal of pushback.
Of course, if the only other option was getting whisked away for underwater slavery, we might
just accept sacrifices as a necessary evil.
However, it’s likely that more civilized cultures would attempt to find less savage
ways of appeasing the guy.
And this might not be too difficult a task, since it’s possible that we would actually
be able to speak with Vodyanoy.
Especially with his shapeshifting ability, it would be easy for him to take on an avatar
that would let him communicate with the world.
We could likely come to some sort of agreement, with those in power providing him with whatever
he wanted, without the need to resort to sacrifice.
Give him a nice house, loads of money, and Netflix, and he might realize that his underwater
life was severely lacking.
Hell, he might even just leave the water and make his own YouTube channel.
That would be pretty darn lucrative, and it would stop people from becoming his slaves.
Think of all the interesting things he would have to say, the crazy perspectives he could
give, the stories he could tell.
While it might be distasteful to subscribe to a murderous psycho, it would be far too
interesting for many to pass up.
And now we return to our question: What if Vodyanoy was Real?
Well, of course, the knowledge that you might be grabbed and put into underwater slavery
would put a good deal of emotional strain on people everywhere.
Many would move away to avoid bodies of water, perhaps avoiding warm climates.
Various methods of appeasing the water spirit would be employed, including, unfortunately,
animal sacrifice.
However, down the line, we might actually communicate with him, and come to some sort
of agreement.
He might even start his own YouTube channel, going by the name “Fish-Lip DeFranco”…
Or Pew-die Pike.
Thank you for watching Life’s Biggest Questions, I hope this was interesting and informative,
and maybe even inspired you to look into it further on your own.
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While you’re down there, let me know how YOU would convince Vodyanoy to stop attacking
people.
Until next time, I’m Ron McKenzie-Lefurgey with Life’s Biggest Questions, wishing you
the best of luck, on your quest for answers.