- Who's ready for Medical Meme review episode 5?
(upbeat music)
When your family asks you how schools?
(laughing)
This dog is adorable...
First of all nobody wants to hear it.
They ask you being polite.
But then if you start telling them about your anatomy lab,
your O.N.T lab,
your boards are coming up.
People are just like (snoring).
"Doctoror, Can you show me where the pain is coming from?
"Me: shows a text that has been seen with no reply."
If I'm struggling in a relationship.
I would just show a text from my ex
and I'd be like (makes noise) sadness..."
It is probably better that
doctor strange became a superhero,
"because his sterile technique is cringe-worthy."
- Oh, I'm excited for this..
(Strange..)
- Oh did he touch his face mask after washing?
Dr. Strange, that is a no no..
"Some girl in my college
came to the chemistry lab wearing flip-flops."
"The instructor made her do this."
- Always use protection folks
and I'm not talking about condoms.
Well, I am talking about condoms,
but I'm also talking about your feet
if you spill hydrochloric acid,
you will burn your foot.
your feets...
Do not burn your feets.
"When you cannot mentally take in any more information,
so you physically
(laughng)."
"Doctor: I've got some bad news."
"Me: laid on me gently."
"Doctor: Okay. Knock knock"
"Me:Who's there?
- (laughing) Herpes...
Here's the deal with herpes.
You shouldn't try and get it.
But if you get it's not the end of the world.
A lot of people think herpes is
some sort of deadly illness
But the huge majority of the time.
It has no bearing on your life.
Outside of some discomfort, or physical symptoms,
or a rash popping up.
"When surgery turns up the jam in the O.R"
(drum solo playing)
- Yo, surgery room gets lit
"$50 to walk in the door"
"prescribes green tea with lemon and honey."
(laughing)
- I just paid a copay for you to tell me to drink honey?
My grandma told me I can have honey.
What did you go to school for?
I just saved you unnecessary antibiotics.
That had you have taken unnecessarily
for your viral illness.
You would have been developed diarrhea down here,
possibly a rash up here,
possibly anaphylaxis in here.
wWhich means your throat closes
and you end up...
"Putting on gloves,
"alone"
:In front of other doctors"
- When you're alone your palms aren't sweating.
When you walk into the surgery room,
the O.R ,
as a new student and you haven't been there a lot.
Your palms just start spraying sweat
like it's sprinkler fluid.
Sprinkler fluid?
I remember when I was a resident.
I was nervous doing a procedure
and I was putting on his gloves in front of a patient.
It look like it was my first time putting on the gloves.
The patient was probably like
"Dude, this guy still don't know
how to put on gloves."
* "I'm not getting sick during my Peds rotation."
(cat sneezing)
I remember I'm on my own Peds in the hospital.
And I'm doing my rounds and I'm all cheery.
And I'm like,
"okay little baby say ah..."
And just as they say "ah".
The baby goes...
(spit sound)
right into my mouth.
I tasted the baby's saliva
and they had Coxsackie.
It's a virus.
(ugh)
- "Dr. His palms are sweaty,"
"knees weak arms are heavy."
"There's vomit on his sweater already."
Did you just quote Eminem?
Ma'am, your husband's alcohol problems not a joke.
- On the surface.
He looks calm and ready to drop bombs,
but he keeps on forgetting
what he wrote down
the whole... okay..
(laughing)
- (inaudiable talking)
- Oh, yeah didn't James Charles...
Yo James Charles got demonetized for some craziness.
For singing like "womp womp womp."
Yo, Em, please...
we have a lot in common.
I'm from Russia.
You're from Detroit.
I'm white.
You're white.
You rap.
I don't.
Don't demonetized me bruh.
(laughing)
- "when you're attending gives incorrect instructions,
but you really want a letter of recommendation."
- You have to figure out a way
to tell them that you don't think it's right
or what you read is wrong.
- "Trying to learn a new skill in medicine like:"
(inaudiable)
(laughing)
- "Open up please."
"Me: Sometimes I get sad."
(laughing)
- That's really funny.
I like this one.
This one makes me happy.
I don't know why.
But yeah, it's okay to get sad.
You only appreciate the sunrise
when you see the sunset.
- "Me: I think I have cancer "Doctor: It's all in your head.
(sigh of relief)
"A bunch of all in your head.
- Yeah, that's a meme.
- "Your patient drinks,"
"smokes,"
"consume 6 cups of coffee daily"
"has diabetes,"
"high cholesterol," "BMI 40, BP 160 over 110"
"doesn't adhere to his meds."
"But in takes a daily multivitamin."
"Why are you still alive?"
- I don't know if any of you have ever heard of
'House of God'. It's a great book.
Samuel Shem it always talks about the
unhealthiest people living the longest.
It feels like they never croak.
Their blood pressure is poorly controlled.
They're overweight.
They don't take their medications appropriately.
But then they're like "oh but I take my
Flintstones daily vitamin."
- "When you scrub in for the first time"
"and walk up to the operating table like..."
"I'm not sure what to do with my hands..."
- Honestly it's true,
because you have to keep your hands like this,
or like this,
because you can't drop them too low
because that area is not sterile.
You can't put them on your face
because that's not sterile.
So you have to like keep everything like this.
And if you sneeze...
you have to sneeze forward.
The worst thing that you can do
is turn to the side and sneeze.
Because at all this sneeze stuff
all this sneeze stuff....
all the sneeze particles comes out
onto the patient from the side of your mask.
- "Texas: 14 year old virgin Falls pregnant"
"after flu shot."
" Hell no"
"Why myself or my kids will never get the flu shot."
"One of the many reasons"
- What?
- Unless you're dating a guy
and you've nicknamed him flu shot
ain't no way a flu shot's getting
you pregnant baby boo.
- "Nurse: You may not feel anything from the waist down.
"Him: Just (bleep) then"
(laughing)
- What?
I would have rated this meme as
"you may not feel anything from the waist down
and I want to say as "him want to bet?"
- "You are the mother(beep)."
"You, are great!"
"You are magnificent!"
"You can do whatever you want to do in this world."
"Get yo mother(bleep) shine on today!"
"Because you can't."
- I'm officially changing my alarm clock into that.
Because we all need a little inspiration the morning.
This isn't just for healthcare work.
- "Many top scientists on the autism spectrum."
"So technically autism causes vaccine."
(laughing)
- What movie is this from with the rock?
This looks old school.
But yeah.
No, it doesn't
- "Mike, Carbs are bad for you.
Also Mike eats their Kinder Eggs.
- Dude, keto for 30 days with no carbs,
no sugar was tough.
So when I finish Keto and I get a package of Kinder Eggs ,
you best bet I'm gonna go in.
- "So do you like touch my balls first?"
"Or how does this work/"
"Steven I'm your dentist?"
(laughing)
- Hold on a second.
This picture is not accurate.
Why is he has a stethoscope doctor?
- "Doctor: It's okay. Your wife's in a better place."
"Heaven?" "My Apartment."
- "When the parents refuse all vaccines"
"and the newborn screening"
"because they're all natural,"
"but then the man is circumcision."
(laughing)
- I love this guy's meme face.
I don't know what's been going on with circumcision
lately being in the news.
Everyone's talking about it.
There's a huge uproar.
There are health benefits to getting a circumcision.
There are health risks to getting a circumcision.
The health benefits are pretty few and far between.
But if some people for religious reasons
want to get one and there are some health benefits.
We do do them.
Let's make a circumcision video.
No, wait, that sounds bad.
Let's make a video discussing circumcision.
- "I pass this every day, "
"and it always seems like someone caught in a lie. "
"Where do you work?"
"Oh the medical building?"
"Oh, what's the address?"
"1 2 3 4 5 geez? What do you do there?"
"It's the surgery.... center...
(laughs)
- I didn't even see the "12345". That's crazy.
- "Sure. You're a doctor.
"Then how do you explain all your free time?"
- That's a question I can relate to.
Making YouTube videos,
going on television.
I mean Ryan Seacrest the other day was like,
"are you a real Doctor?"
Michael Strahan's like, "are you a real doctor?"
- Yes, I'm a real doctor.
Board certified family physician here.
Sup' yo..
- "Other student: how are rotations going?"
"what I say 'living the dream'."
(laughing)
"what would mean"
- "Dr. Any drugs? Patients in the E.R: Nope
(laughs)
- I'll have young folks come in
and they look like they just came from a rave concert
from Ultra Coachella burning man, whatever it is.
And they're like, "I don't feel good Doc"
and I'm like,
"well tell me what's been going on would you?"
- "Oh, I just came back from this concert'
"We were raving all weekend."
- Well, "did you do any drugs?"
- "No."
- Did you drink any alcohol no...
tell me let's talk about it.
How can I help you if I don't know the truth.
- "Vaccines cause adults"
(laughs)
- I'll take all the immunity got thanks Pam.
I would wear that shirt.
Vaccines cause adults.
You know what's funny?
I could totally see an anti vacs person seeing that
being like, "oh my God you believe in that too"
- "when a patient's blood pressure is off."
"So the attending asks you to take you manually,"
"thinking it will somehow be more accurate"
(laughs)
- It's so easy to check blood pressure.
You should know how to do it
do not lose your art of the physical exam.
- "Do you need another stool sample doctor?"
"I didn't even ask for the first one."
- "Doctor: your wife is pregnant."
"No, she isn't I was wearing a condom."
"Yeah, but I wasn't."
- Why all the things about doctors
cheating with their patients wives.
I can't understand.
- "Ask yourself."
"Is she actually thick?"
"Or is she just suffering from lumbar lordosis"
- Whenever you say lordosis or kyphosis
that's actually the curvature of the spine.
And if you have extra kyphosis,
or extra lordosis,
it accentuates that curve.
- "Doctor: you're going to be a vegetable"
"for the rest of your life."
"Patient: I'm vegan so that's amazing."
(laughs)
- Speaking of vegan...
I'm about to make a 30-day vegan video...
Shhh....
I can't believe I'm doing it.
I'm giving up the meats.
Vegetables, I'm coming for you.
Memes are great.
But have you seen my take on YouTube challenges?
Click here for that bad boy.
Stay happy and healthy.
(hip Hop music playing)