-Hi, there, ladies, welcome back.
Mat Shaffer here with you again,
your empowerment, connection, and relationship coach.
I'm so happy to have you back for this video.
Things are going to get steamy y'all.
Things are going to get definitely racing in this video.
This video is going to be all about how to turn a man on with touch.
I'm going to give you five ways you can use touch
to literally make a man crazy and really get him going.
All right.
Be sure to stay towards the end on this one.
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Today, we're going to talk about touch,
but very specifically, how you can use it as a woman.
You have tremendous power as a woman to turn a man on with touch.
I'm talking about even if he's at absolute zero
because I know sometimes some of my clients will talk to me
and they'll be like, "Oh, my guy, he's just has a hard time
especially if he's been stressed out."
If men have been stressed out, they've had a long day,
they're not in the mindset of like, "Hey, let's get into it."
That's not where they're at
because they're depleted or stressed out from their day.
There are things you can do to just activate that within a man.
You have tremendous power as a woman
to really evoke that sensual sexual energy within him.
I'm going to give you five tips
to really help you do that with him in a powerful way.
In this first one, you may have heard it, you may not,
but the first tip is to really touch him softly.
This might seem a little counterintuitive
because a lot of dating advice you see
or a lot of things you might think about men is
that they need to be touched hard
and they need this really aggressive contact in order to get them aroused.
No.
One of the most powerful things you can do is just touch a man so softly
that it's barely perceptible.
Just run one finger up his leg, just one finger,
and just down the back of his ear here,
just a tiny little trailing of a finger
can be the one thing that just gets him going
and gets him started.
It can happen so quickly, but it can start so subtly, too.
You do not have to grab him.
I even told a story once
about how a woman was too aggressive with me early on in dating,
and she just grabbed my--
went from my nether regions very early on when we were getting to--
I found that to be too aggressive.
Especially if a man is stressed out, if he's had a long day,
if he's carrying a lot of stuff
because he's been dealing with aggressive energy all day,
so if you come at him too aggressively right out of the gate,
you're actually going to maybe shut him down even more
and emasculate him even more.
Start soft, start nuanced,
just a casual brush of your body against his.
Maybe if he's in the kitchen, you brush your body against him,
or maybe you brush your booty against him, or something like that,
just giving him a little body contact.
Just little things like that can really just get him started
to wake up that part of him.
Think about if you wanted to wake somebody up,
you don't want wake somebody up by shoving them.
You don't want to try to wake up a man's sensuality by shoving it.
You want to wake it up gently, especially if it's in a deep sleep
because he's been stressed out all day.
That's one important tip just to get the ball rolling
This next tip is also something that is very effective.
The second tip is to use your mouth in unexpected ways.
One way you can do that is to basically take one finger
and just roll it around in your mouth.
Take one of his fingers and basically roll it around in your mouth,
roll it between your teeth
and treat it like you're sucking on something else,
but do that with a finger or a couple fingers.
You have no idea how much that will put a man in a very activated state
because he'll be experiencing that and he'll be like, "Oh my god."
When a man feels that, he gets the sense of, "Wow, this woman really--
she wants to make me feel good.
She wants to really please me."
When a man feels that sort of commitment, that sort of passion from a woman,
and that intention from her, it's very, very, very powerful.
It's a very, very powerful thing.
This next step, and there's a lot of different ways you can do this,
this is an overall concept you can use for all types of physical contact
and connection with a man, is mix up sensations.
Men love variety.
What do I mean by that?
What do I mean by men love variety?
Try different sensations.
Instead of just using your fingertips,
instead of just using the paths of your fingers,
use your nails, especially if you have long nails.
Nails are something that's super, super, super sensual for men
because for the most part, men don't really have nails ourselves.
To feel that actual long, soft fingernails across our skin,
both hard and soft, can be really hot.
Mix up the death of sensation.
Maybe one time you bring your hand down his arm or down his back,
do it very softly with the nails, and the next time do it more hard.
Again, you can always sort of read what a man is liking.
Men are not very subtle
in the way that we express whether we're liking something or not.
As you're doing stuff, as you're touching him,
as you're using your nails,
as you're maybe using your teeth on different parts of his body
or using your lips,
as you're doing these things, you can watch him.
His body will tell you, the way that he responds,
the way that his face lights up or doesn't, you will be able to read.
If you're connected and if you're present to him,
you'll be able to read on what he's liking and what he's not.
You don't even need to ask him
Men are not good at hiding their response, their physical response to stuff.
By watching his body, by watching how he responds,
by watching his face,
you can tell what kind of sensation he's doing,
what kind of sensation he's responding to.
Mix up.
Play with different things.
For example, when he thinks you're going to kiss him,
say, you're going up to his ear, which is a sweet spot for a lot of guys,
he thinks you're going to kiss his ear.
Instead of kissing in his ear, maybe blowing it.
Where a man is expecting your mouth or expecting your lips
or expecting your tongue,
maybe blow on that part of him instead, just with hot slow breath.
That can be really, really, really sensual for men.
Give him breath sometimes instead of giving him a tongue or your lips.
That sound good?
That's a really, really good one.
This is stuff that's really going to work.
This last one is something that's very explicit,
but I have to throw it out there
because this is very, very effective for a lot of men.
Very few women, I think, really know how powerful this is.
This is a technique for oral sex.
When you're giving a man a blow job, do you use your hands?
If so, how?
Your ability to use your hands while you're giving a man a blow job
makes a blow job a completely different experience for a man.
There's levels of this.
There's levels to which you can use your hands
when you're giving a man a blow job.
The first being you use one hand
and you go up and down in a stationary manner with your hand
while you're giving them blow job.
That's great, but there's so much more depth that you can go with this technique
and with your hands to make it an even more incredible experience
because the whole premise is to mix up sensations.
One of the ways you can mix up sensations on a man
while you're giving them a blow job
is to actually twist your hand around his member
while you're going up and down on it.
Twisting your hand while you're doing it is a rock star move
and it is something that most men will be paralyzed with bliss by you doing.
The ultimate form of that is the double twist in opposite directions.
I know that sounds complicated,
and maybe that's not something that's applicable to all men
because maybe you can't necessarily get that far with it,
but if you can do a double twist with both of your hands
while you're giving a man a blow job,
that is one of the single greatest physical experiences
that you can give a man, most men.
An alternative to this, maybe if you can't do both hands or whatever,
is just taking a couple of fingers
and using a couple of fingers instead of both hands.
I can't believe that I just said this on a video,
but I'm doing this for you, ladies.
I'm doing this for you because this is transformative stuff.
If you can do this stuff for a man, just wait and see how he responds to it.
Now this is tip four.
Tip four for this is to explore his body
to find new sweet spots that he might not even know about.
Use all these different tools that you have at your disposal,
your fingertips, your nails, your mouth, your breath,
and just probe his body, touch different areas of him,
touch areas that you've never touched on him before,
and like I said, earlier watch his response.
His body can't lie to you.
The way he arches his back.
The way that he sucks in his breath.
The things he's doing with his face.
Each one of those is feedback for you on what's working or what's not,
and you can find new sweet spots on him that maybe he didn't even know about.
Again explore his body,
look for new sweet spots and then watch his response,
watch his reaction,
and really, let him know you're just playing, you just want to play with him.
You just sit back and relax, honey,
and that might be a little tough for a man to lay back and surrender,
but if you've cultivated trust with him
and you let him know that you're just committed to making him feel good,
he should be okay with it.
That's tip four is to really just make a man just surrender
and then explore and look for his sweet spots,
and then when you find them, really toy with them.
Like we said earlier, mix up sensations.
If he's got some weird spot on his side that is really sensitive
or maybe, I don't know, somewhere on his back or on his butt somewhere or whatever,
wherever he's got a sweet spot, once you find it,
play with it, toy with it, use different sensations, mix it up.
See what he likes, see what he doesn't.
He won't need to say anything.
You'll be able to tell from how he responds and reacts,
but the more you can mix up and vary sensations on a man,
the more happy he's going to be.
I'm just going to tell you.
This is the last way you can use touch.
This is the fifth way.
I'm glad you guys hung with me because we're getting there.
I always tell you, I save some of my most powerful stuff for the end of these videos
but the fifth tool, the fifth tip I want to give you
on how to use touch to turn on a man, and the last one,
is to take his hands and guide them to your sweet spots.
Take his hands and just place them on you where it turns you on,
guide his mouth to what turns you on,
on your body
because one of the greatest ways that you can use touch to turn on a man,
one of the greatest ways that men get turned on by touch is by turning you on.
Any man that truly cares about you and cares about your pleasure,
one of the greatest ways to turn him on is to show him what turns you on.
Again, it's so much sexier for a man
instead of being told by a woman, "Touch me here."
That's a very masculine thing to command a man to touch you somewhere.
That's kind of masculine.
That's depolarizing.
Instead of doing that, actually, take his hand right,
and then just guide his hand to that spot on your inner thigh
or behind your head or in between your legs or wherever it is.
You might have a bunch of them.
Grab him by his hair
and guide his face and his mouth down to your nipples or wherever it is.
You can have a bunch of different spots,
and then once he gets there,
give him that feedback that it is driving you crazy.
Arch your back, moan, give him all the indicators,
let him know that he's doing a good job because men really crave that.
Men crave getting that validation
and that acknowledgement that they're doing well.
Men love to be acknowledged for what they're doing right.
All this can happen without any actual verbal exchange.
That's the magic of it because touch is its own language.
If you're really present with your partner and you're doing these things,
you're touching him soft,
you're being subtle and nuanced to wake up the sensuality,
you're mixing up sensations, you're using breath instead of your mouth,
you're using your fingertips,
and you're using all and your nails and your teeth,
you're doing all these different things, and you're experimenting with hand twists.
If you're daring and if you're ready to go for this in terms of oral sex,
one of the most powerful things you can ever do,
and you're demonstrating that you're willing to explore
and look for his sweet spots,
and then once you find them, you mix up sensations on them,
and then that you will have the courage to really guide him
to explore and unlock your sweet spots, which I know you've got some as well.
If you can use touch this way, you can really turn a man on
and you can take your sex life
and your sensual life in connection with that man
to a completely different level.
I hope this resonated with you.
If you try these in the comments, let me know how it goes.
Let me know other techniques, other tools you've used on men
with touch to really turn them on.
I'd love to hear some of your own strategies.
Let's get a little talk going in the comments on this.
I'd love to hear from y'all on what has really worked for you,
and then let's all share information.
I'm all about spreading the love, you know what I'm saying.
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I'm posting new content every week.
Thanks so much for tuning in.
I will see you soon.
Bye-bye.