[Martina] It's time for...!
[Both] Wonderful Adventure Now, Korea!!
[Simon] ...the Bakery Edition!
[M] So... it's a really bright day today!
[S] Oh, boy..!
[M] Um... I can't see!
I can't see~! I can't see~!!
Naa-na-na-na-naaa-na-naaa~!!
I can't see~! I can't s-.. I don't know if that's the words!
Anyways, it's really bright out!
[S] Yes!
So, first, the ground rules!
#1: We have to take a picture of us WANKing in front of Korean idols!
[M] #2! We're searching to find the most creative "Engrish"!
[S] And #3: We're gonna have a random WANK-off Showdown Challenge in which the loser suffers DIRE CONSEQUENCES!!
[B] MUAHAHAHAHA~~!
[M] ALTHOUGH, lately, everyone's been rollin' sixes, which... have had no dire consequences at all!
It's really cold out and I wanna let you know that I'm wearing ten million layers.
I feel like a child who's wearing a snowsuit.
Can you guys see where my-... ([S] Chubby!) ...look at the chubby!
This is where my sweater stops!
I just, li-.. I can barely move and turn my head! I'm gonna be like, "Hey, guys! What's that over there?!"
So, for today's adventure, we're going to be heading to a Korean bakery!
[S] ...and then we're gonna eat it all! Yup!
[M] That's the plan!
[S] I hope you like it! [M] Let's go eat Korean bakery foods!
[Both] NOMS!!~
[M] It's really cold out!!
[S] Okay, you stay here! I'll go get us some foods!
No! Don't run, kitty!
[M] It's a Winter-Time Kitty! That means he's really scared and cold and I wanna hug him and take him home!
And last time I tried that, I had to go to the hospital 'ca-.. from getting mauled from a kitten!
[S] ...for trying to give the kitty food! [M] C'mon, kitty!
[S] Throw it at him!
[M] Free noms! ^_^
[S, kitty voice] Aaaah! IS THAT TUNAS?!
[Both] Yaay! ^_^
[M] Good kitty!
Oh, my God. So sad...
[S] We gave the kitty some foods.
NOM-NOM-NOM-NOM-NOM!! :3
Just remember, kitty, who gave you that food!
Tomorrow, we demand tummy-touches!
[M] It's a "Strawberry Harmonica". Can we get it? Really?
[S] Well, we've gotta do it for-... FOR SCIENCE!
This is all for the video. It's not for US.
[M] We're doin' it for you guys!
<.
<..
<...
<...but why?! D: >
[S] So here we are at Paris Baguette. We're gonna try out a lot of the different foods here.
[M] Now we usually come to this one or to another popular one called "Tous Le Jours". <"Everyday">
They're kind of like a chain bakery that they have in Korea and it's the closest feeling we can get to having, like, a breakfast.
BUUUT, it's not quite what we're used to from home.
[S] It's a Korean take on French food, so it might not taste like what you're used to.
[M] If you come here and you say to yourself, "This is a French croissant!"...
...and you eat it and you're like, "this is really flaky! There's not enough butter in here..!"
Don't think of it that way! Think of it as Korean pastry that is its own, like, new genre of food.
[S] That would explain why there's so much CORN in it! [M] Yes! Anyways, we're gonna eat the food...
We're gonna give our opinions and tastes on it. And you guys can... enjoy via the camera?
[S] Oh, well! Let's try!
So the first thing we're trying here looks like a quesadilla, I think it is? Half for me, half for you!
On the insi-.. oh! There's a big hot dog. Okay...
[M] Oh, okay... surprise! There a hot dog in here!
There's a COLD hot dog in here.
I think that's... cream cheese?
[S] It looks like some mustard in there as well.
[M] Onions, cream cheese... oh! I've got peas. Hot dog... maybe some salsa?
Korea loves mustard and mayonnaise. [S] And sweet pickles.
[M] It's kind of like a... Mexican... American...
I don't.. I don't even know! [S] I'm gonna drop the hot dog part out.
[M] I'm... not a huge fan of this, I'll be honest.
[S] So, final verdict on that one:
Interesting experience! Not one that I'm gonna do again.
[M] I think that hot dog had a real good sneak attack quality, though. [S] It did!
[M] I did not see that hot dog coming, I'll be honest.
SHAZAM! I'm a hot dog!
[S] Next, we have a pizza bagel! Oh, boy! Is that corn..? I love having corn on my stuff(!)
[M] Bagel's not bad. It's pretty soft. [S] Mm-hm. That's cream cheese in there, right?
Something really sweet in there.
[M] So, this is essentially exactly the same as what we ate before, except it's got ham.
[S] But it's a lot better 'cause it doesn't have, like, all the mustard-mayo in it.
And no random hot dogs popped up in here! ([M] Yeah!) I checked!
Pretty much everything you're gonna have in Korea, when it comes to savoury pastries, are gonna be sweet as well.
[M] If you buy garlic bread pre-made in Korea, it's got a sugar coat on it.
And this has got like that garlic on the outside and it tastes like sugar.
I haven't been able to get used to it. It doesn't taste bad, it's just that you're... shocked.
Because you're used to having all the savouries together.
Next, we're trying this little puffy sesame ball. It feels like it's hard on the outside...
...but it's actually pretty much empty on the inside.
[S] Well thanks for crumbling it all over me! [M] No problem!!
[S] It's totally hollow. [M] I know! That's what I tried to say to you.
[S] Wow. [M] First, when I had these, I was kinda like:
"Agh! I don't know!", but I actually really like them now.
And it reminds me of when you were a kid and you got those, like, half-cut gemstones?
[M] You don't remember them? [S] What..?! Half-cut gemstones?
[M] The outside is all like a normal rock and then, when you turn it over, on the inside...
...it's like a beautiful purple stone, or... [S] I never had that before...
[M] What?! You can see them at science centres and stuff!
[S] Who did science as a kid?!
I grew up in the hood, son!! [M] I did!!
You know what I'm talking about! [S] More like a basketball!
Oh, boy. The flavour is so... overwhelming(!)
It tastes the way a paper towel smells.
[M] Simon! It does not! [S] Smell it. Smells like a paper towel!
[M] It more like has a strong sesame seed taste so, if you don't like sesame seeds...
[S] You're picking out all the insides? ([M] Yeah! I'm mining it for its gold!) The outside isn't really any good.
Going back for my pizza bagel! [M] Probably didn't like my chewy bun!
[S] So, next, we're going onto the croquet which is filled with... SOMETHING.
This is potato and cheese. [M] Let's try it out!
[S] I never knew potato and cheese could be so sweet!
I do taste potato now. As soon as I got through the layer of sugar.
[M] It's a creamashed(?) potato.
I don't really taste any cheese in here. Do you?
It wasn't bad! I need some bacon and some cheese in there and it'd be delicious!
Don't we always want more cheese? [S] Of course!
[M] Next, we're going for the tapioca stick!
Tapioca, in my world, is a little tiny ball inside a pudding...
...and it's delicious. And my sister didn't like it because it reminded her of snot!
Like bubble tea! Just like those tapioca balls.
[S] But this isn't bubble tea. ([M] No!) This is a stick.
[M] I'm just gonna take a bite out of it! [S] No, just break it in half!
[M] No! Uh-uh! Hold on!
[S] How was it? [M] It's delicious.
[S] Is it? [M] Mm-hm!
Sucker!!
No, it's pretty good! [S] Yeah, it is!
[M] This is actually really good. [S] Tastes acceptable.
[M] It is good to me 'cause I like black sesame.
But you don't like black sesame. [S] You also like flavourless desserts!
Like... loaves and grandma cookies.
[M] What's wrong with grandma cookies?!
[S] They're disgusting. And angel-food cake! Who likes angel-food cake?!
[M] And ginger cookies... banana cream pies... strawberry pies... blueberry pies...
...custard... tapioca pudding... English trifle... lemon meringue pies...
Aaaaaaaaaand.... that's about it!
[S] And the last one is the granddaddy of them all!
I don't even know what this is called! [M] It was called a "strawberry harmonica"!
[S] It looks like a hot dog filled with cream and strawberries!
[M] That was my harmonica song!
[S] Woah! So... harmonic(!) [M] Do you know how hard it is to imitate a harmonica? Go on. Try. Go!
[M] No, my turn. Ready?
I don't know! This is like Spudgy tryin' to sing. [S] Mine's better!
Look at that. That's a hot dog bun.
[Both] I'll take that..!
[S] "Kai bai bo" for it! <"Kai bai bo" = the Korean "rock/paper/scissors"; same rules!>
[Both] Kaaai baaai BO!! <"Kai bai bo" = the Korean "rock/paper/scissors"; same rules!>
[M] You can keep it!
[S] ...it fell! DD: [M] You can keep it.
[S] It tastes like a hot dog... filled with cream... and a little bit of strawberry on it.
[M] Yeah. [S] That's it!
[M] This is the kind of thing children beg for when their parents're like, "NO!"
[S] I have never begged for a whipped cream-filled hot dog when I was growing up.
You have? [M] One of my local donut shops have, like, a hot dog bun...
...cut in half and it's filled with whipped cream!
That's exactly what it was! It didn't even have strawberries in it and I always wanted to try it!
I'm living a childhood moment!
I can't turn away from it! I know that my hips are like...
YEAH, MARTINA! EAT THAT CREAM-FILLED HOT DOG BUN!! (:<
But my heart's like:
DON'T DO IT, MARTINA! IT'S JUST A HOT DOG FILLED CREAM BUN!
And my mouth's like, "shut up and eat it!!"
[S] Okay, you're done. You're done! Drop it!! DROOOOP IIIIIIT!
Oh, God! Not on me!
I thought you would just drop it. [M] I tried to drop it, but you were taking my hand!
It's called "momentum"! Oh, right! Simon wasn't into science!
[S] Well, now that that's done with, I think we should probably-... zzzzz.
[M] It's so sunny!! Toasty!
[S] I feel like a kitten in the sun.
[M] Simon! We must.... get out of this sunlight square!
It's killing us!
[S] Snuggly! :3
[M] All the food and... sunlight is killing us! [S] Sooo warm on mah belly. :3
[M] We must go, Simon! [S] Huh..?
[M] Yes! Come on! [S] Wha' th-...? Is th'-..?
[S] So I've definitely found MY Engrish of the day!
"We are bread of love, fresh and sizzling from the oven."
"Strong outside, but soft inside."
"We represent sincerity, honesty...
...aaaaaand INTEFRITY."
[M] "Intefrity" 's a word! [S] What is intefrity?!
C'mon! "Intefrity"?!
That's a winner right there. You know this. Martina, you've got nothing on "intefrity".
[M] It's not a winner!
Well, I've chosen MY Engrish of the day:
"VARIETY NETWORK. HAIR CASTLE."
Does that mean it's like a castle made out of hair and you can... network? And watch TV shows?
I don't even know what it's trying to say!
I can't even begin to start--... [S] You're not really selling it as good as mine, that's for sure!
[M] Because you had the one interesting word!
Mine is an entire concoction of, like, words and sentences that just don't make sense.
[S] Wah-waaah. [M] Variety Network Hair Castle!
[S] So I have definitely got a winning team this time. Martina cheated when she picked all of B2ST
I'm gonna pick all of 2PM!!
Not just Nichkhun, not just Taecyeon...
Not just the other guys whose names I don't know, but ALL OF 2PM!
That's right!
[M] Okay, so I've chosen my idols! I'm going for two! I'm gonna go for...
...SIMON AND MARTINA.
[S] What the-...?!
[M] I think it's a pretty clear pick. Considering that we didn't actually know that this photo would be here...
...nor did we give permission to have it there. So I've just come up on a random photo of myself in public.
I think that's pretty fair! [S] Okay, number one...
[M] What're you gonna say? Gonna make fun of yourself?
[S] They're NOT Korean idols.
Aaaand... [M] We never said we had to be idols! We said Korean... icons! That's it!
[S] We ARE the icons of Korea! Wah-waaah!!
[M] Okay! So we're here at CocoHodo, the cutest word on the whole planet!
This is more traditional. It's red-bean paste inside a little pastry and then there's a big huge piece of walnut in it...
...which is super delicious! So we're gonna go there. I love CocoHodo!
Um, this is the actual size of the cocohodo.
No, it's really tiny! Now let's go get some!
Oooh, premium walnut pastry!
Okay, we got our bag! This is for ocheon..(?) (5000 KRW)! That's, like, around five dollars.
It's a lot! Can you see how steamy they are?
[S] Ooooh, steameh! ([M] 'Cause they're so fresh!) They're so steameh!!
[M] It's pretty cold outside, so we're gonna go on over to a coffee shop and enjoy our cocohodos and show you guys the insides!
Cocohodo...!
Okay, so they all come individually wrapped in these little adorable papers.
And--.. [S] They're just tissue papers. They're not that adorable.
[M] They're pretty adorable! I mean, like... [S] Well, look at that!
[M] ...someone took the time to twist that! [S] Look at that...! They've got holes and everything. It's so adorable(!)
[M] It looks like a walnut. And, when you bite it in half...
I thought it was chocolate the first time. I was like, "Oh, my God! Chocolate!"
It's red-bean paste. [S] And it has a little walnut in there, as well.
[M] You got the walnut..! [S] I'm doin' it for... educational purposes.
[M] So... we ate what we were supposed to talk about. [S] ...it was delicious!
That's all you've got to know!
So we've decided to do a COCOHODO challenge!
[M] So we've taken them and divided them evenly into sevens.
And we've written "S" for scissors, "P" for paper and "R" for...
...RATS! [S] Rogue!
[Both] Oh...
[M] Ruby! [S] Ronald... Reagan!
[M] Roadkill. [S] Rudolf..?
[M] Rambo? [S] Why does Rambo have that voice?
[M] Why does Rudolf have that voice?
[S] 'Cause Scooby-Doo said it! [M] Scooby-Doo! Of course!
The "R" is for rock! ([S] Yes!) Okay, so what we're gonna do is we're gonna do the "Kai Bai Bo"; like rock/paper/scissors game...
...and we're gonna reach into the bag, hold one in our hand and we're gonna go, "Kai bai BO!" and we're gonna look at it.
And we're gonna keep our tally on a little piece of paper. [S] And the loser suffers the DIRE CONSEQUENCES!
[M] Unless they roll a six again.
[S] We won't let that happen this time! [M] Nope. We're gonna rig it to not have a six happen!
[S] We don't ever rig anything! [M] I know, but I really don't want you to get the six again!
[Both] Kai bai BO!!
[S] What do you have here..? R. ([M] Rock!) R. Damn! [M] Double rocks! So we get nothing.
[S] Okay...
[M] Okay, ready..? [Both] Kai bai BO!!
[S] What do I have here? [M] I have an S.
[S] S. Oh, come on!! [M] Oh, my God..!
[Both] Kai bai BO!!
[S] What do we have here..? P? ([M] I have R.) YES! One for me!
[M] How could you betray me, cocohodo? How could you betray me?
[Both] Kai bai BO!!
[S] What do I have here..? R? [M] Ummmmm.. looks like a P.
Yup! That's a P. ([S] That's not a P. That's an S!) It IS a P, see? That's. A. P. [S] Aaaghh, okay. Fine! I'll give it to you.
[M] What do you mean, you'll "give it to me"? That's a P! [S] I'll give it to Martina 'cause I love her.
[M] What do you mean, "give it to me"? There's not even anything-... okay, THAT'S an S. [S] ...okay, you're right.
[Both] Kai bai BO!!
[S] We have here... S! ([M] Ohhhh..!!) Yes!
[Both] Kai bai BO!!
[S] R! [M] R!
[Both] Kai bai BO!!
[S] P..? ([M] R.) Yes!!
([M] Ready?) [Both] Kai bai BO!!
[S] What do you have? ([M] P.) P. Yes!! Ohh, I'm so close!
[Both] Kai bai BO!!
[S] What do you have here? [M] S!
[S] P. Scissor beats paper. NO! [M] Yes! ^_^
[S] Tie game! [M] Oh, my God...
[S] Is that the last one..? [M] That doesn't make any sense...
[S] Yeah, 'cause we had 21.
[M] So then we've gotta dump 'em all back in and do one last game. [S] Okay. SUDDEN DEATH!!
[M] What is this? Only one-and-one? [S] Yeah, just one! Next one wins!
Next one wins. [M] You ready? I'm so scared, guys!
([S] Ready?) [Both] Kai bai BO!!
[S] R. ([M] Paper!)
[S] Ohhh, why..?!
Ohhhh, noooooo...!! I never lose rock/paper/scissors..!
[M] You guys might notice that we have new dice here!
That was childish!
Coco...! [S] It's a cocoNOdo now!
[M] Okay. Roll it! Don't throw it! I see your anger hand!
[Both] Two. [M] We know it's not a six!
Two:
Two: EATING
Two: EATING HANDS-
Two: EATING HANDS-FREE!
Yaay! Eating hands-free! [S] I don't have to eat hands-free...
[M] This time, I'm gonna choose something more difficult...
...because, last time, Simon got a cake which he ate like a duck!
[S] Well, what is there to eat here apart from cocohodos?!
[M] I got to thinking, what could be the most delicious thing for Simon to consume? [S] Yoooou shouldn't have..!
[Both] Ohhhh..!
[S] I can't eat that whole thing. I'm so full.
[M] Ummm... I'll let you eat until I feel you've eaten to the correct extent.
[S] Here we go..! [M] I'll just, uh... get some better views here!
[S] It's so dry!! [M] I know it's dry!
[S] I don't wanna do this anymore!
[M] Keep going!
Don't try and eat this like a duck, like last time!
I'm gonna allow you to stop here, Simon. ([S] Thanks...) I want you to have pity if I ever get something to remember this moment.
[S] So that's it for this week's--.. ([M] Eeeeee!!) Holy--... it's cold!! AAAGH!!
[M] Oh, my God, guys!! [S] It's REALLY cold!!
[M] Oh, my God. We had to come home! I could barely function anymore. I was like, "aaamurhguaaa!!"
So that's it for this week's WANKing adventure! [S] Don't forget to vote for the Engrish and the idol!
Last week, I wound up winning BOTH challenges with Se7en and the coffee shop one!
So that puts us square at 3-3. 'Cause I'm so awesome! [M] No! It was unfair because he KNEW we were going to Se7en's restaurant...
...so it was unfair. [S] meeh-meeh-meeh-meeh. You're a baby!