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it's called the Cullen it costs a
quarter of a million pounds and though
it might look like an SUV
according to rolls it isn't an SUV no
this is an all-terrain high bodied car
so an SUV then and to all those people
saying should rolls-royce really build a
massive SUV I say why not
if anyone's entitled to build a massive
off-road tank it's them it's hardly like
their normal cars are small and dainty
is it furthermore 100 years ago Rosa's
entire best car in the world image was
based on building off-road vehicles
because there were no roads just ask
Lawrence of Arabia
and the Cullinan is a proper off-roader
it's got four-wheel drive it'll weigh
through half a meter of water it'll
realistically go anywhere you'd expect
your 250 thousand pound off-roader
to go but let's face it the Cullinan
owner isn't going to do any of that
they're going to drive around on road
from this very high driving position
wondering why everyone else looks a bit
poor
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and out on the road the Cullinan is
every bit as refined and imperious as
you'd expect from the world's most
expensive SUV
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listen to that the silence is just
glorious this is the most refined SUV
ever made you really don't even know the
engine switched on I mean driving on
this road now there's no suspension
noise no tire noise and the ride it's
just extraordinary it is so supple it's
like the road ahead of you has just been
resurfaced with marshmallows and like
every other luxury SUV out there the
Cullinan doesn't just do comfort it also
does power and it really is more than
powerful enough it has a twin
turbocharged six point seven five liter
v12 560 horsepower I'm not sure anyone's
going to be brave enough to really
hustle one of these though it goes
really really quickly
and it does a great job of hiding all of
its weight until you get to a corner
like that
and you are very aware of how heavy it
is let's be honest this isn't an SUV for
driving hard it's an SUV for wafting
along in glorious soothing silence and
for that the Cullinan is in the class of
its own
however it does have one teeny-tiny
problem it is to use a technical
automotive term utterly hideous to look
at I mean it's a little bit new London
taxi there it's a little bit Chinese
knockoff it's all bad I mean look at the
grille all that money that design team
but that's the best they can come up
with it just looks like they've taken
any old boxy SUV and just slapped a
grille on it and a flying lady where she
must be gutted and I know looks are a
subjective thing but this is just wrong
if I'm gonna get inside cuz it's safer
on my eyes it really is quite an
achievement
Rolls has somehow managed to build a two
hundred and fifty thousand pound car
that turns heads for all the wrong
reasons
Sorry Sorry
it's not my car
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but there's something much worse going
on here
the Cullinan should feel like the peak
of British engineering but actually just
feel cynical it doesn't feel like it was
created through passion or love or
innovation it just feels like it was
created to make money raw greed because
let's face it there are too many rich
people on this planet for this tasteless
car not to exist
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I'm an apologist for the motorcar fast
big inefficient I'll defend them because
I love cars and passionate about them
but I cannot construct a defense for
this car I'm in the flagbearer
for British engineering a Rolls Royce
and I'm ashamed to be in it
so if you want to experience a
world-class piece of British engineering
that doesn't make you know yourself you
don't want one of these oh no you want
one of these now that is British
engineering what's this the Brompton
folding bicycle what a machine
frankly it's a blessed relief
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