LET'S JUMP RIGHT INTO THE HEADLINES.
OF COURSE THE BIG NEWS TODAY IS THAT JOE BIDEN IS BACK AFTER
HESS CAMPAIGN AND HE FIZZ ELED OUT LAST WEEK.
BIDEN PULLED OFF A STUNNING SUPERTUESDAY COMEBACK WINNING
NINE STATES.
THIS MEANS BIDEN HAS A VERY REAL CHANCE OF BEING THE DEMOCRATIC
NOMINEE.
AND ONE THING IS FOR SURE WHEN IT HAPPENS, THOSE DEBATES
BETWEEN BIEDERN AND TRUMP ARE DEFINITE GOING TO NEED
SUBTITLES.
CAN YOU IMAGINE?
AFTER LAST NIGHT BIDEN HAS NOW SURPASSED BERNIE SANDERS IN THE
TOTAL DELEGATE COUNT BUT WHAT BERNIE LACKS IN DELEGATES, HE
MORE THAN MAKES UP FOR IN CRUMBLED CRACKERS IN HIS JACKET
POCKET.
>> BUT BERNIE SAND ARERS ISN'T COMPLETELY OUT OF THE RACE.
HE WON A NUMBER OF STATES, INCLUDING VERMONT, COLORADO AND
UTAH SO IT AT THE VERY LEAST WE KNOW HE IS A HIT WITH
SNOWBOARDERS, SNOWBOARDERS AND MORMON SNOWBOARDERS.
HERE IS HOW IMPRESSIVE JOE BIDEN'S VICTORY WAS YTERDAY.
HE WON FIVE STATES HE NEVER EVEN CAMPAIGNED IN.
RIGHT I KNOW BIDEN SAY FRONTRUNNER NOW BUT IT CAN'T BE
A GREAT SIGN THAT HIS NUMBER ONE CONSTITUENCY IS PEOPLE WHO DON'T
WANT TO SEE OR HEAR FROM JOE BIDEN.
(LAUGHTER) ALL JOE BIDEN HAS TO DO IS LAY
LOW IN SOUTH AMERICA FOR THE NEXT EIGHT MONTHS.
HE WILL BEAT TRUMP IN A LANDSLIDE.
BUT NOT EVERYBODY HAD A GOOD DAY.
THE CANDIDATE THAT HAD THE MOST DISAPPOINTING SLOWING WAS MIKE
BLOOMBERG.
DID HE SO POORLY HE DROPPED OUT OF THE RACE EARLY IN MORNING.
FIRST TOM STEYER DROPPED OUT.
NEW BLOOMBERG, BILLIONAIRES JUST CAT CATCH A BREAK THESE DAYS,
CAN THEY?
BLOOMBERG-- I KNOW.
IT IS HEART BREAKING.
BLOOMBERG SPENT HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS OF HIS OWN
MONEY ON HIS CAMPAIGN.
IT JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU, YOU CAN'T BUY THE AMERICAN
PRESIDENCY.
YOU CAN EAL IT WITH THE HELP OF RUSSIANS, BUT Y CAN'T BUY
IT.
PRESIDENT TRUMP OF COURSE WASTED NO TIME MOCKING BLOOMBERG AS THE
RESULTS WERE COMING IN LAST NIGHT.
THE PRESIDENT TWEETED THE BIGGEST LOSER TONIGHT BY FAR IS
MINIIKE BLOOMBERG.
700 MILLION DOLLARS WASHED DOWN THE DRAIN AND HE GOT NOTHING FOR
IT BUT THE NICKNAME MINI MIKE.
YOU GAVE HIM THE NICKNAME.
ST WASN'T JUST ASSIGNED TO HIM BY THE DISEM KRATS WHEN HE
ENTERED THE RACE.
HE DIDN'T LIKE DR OUTnd GO, I GET TO KEEP THE NICKNAME,
RIGHT?
TRUMP MOCKED MIKE BLOOMBERG FOR LOSING MILLIONS.
AND ST EMBARRASSING.
IT IS.
THE ONLY MORE EMBARRASSING WAY TO LOSE MONEY WOULD BE, I DON'T
KNOW, BARUPTING A CASINO.
MOVING ON, IN OTHER NEWS, A RECENT AUDIT REVEALED THAT
SCHOOL OFFICIALS IN ALABAMA SPENT $700,000 OF TAXPAYER MONEY
ON, GET THIS, ALCOHOL, ONLINE GAMBLING AND GENTLEMAN MEN'S
CLUBS.
STILL NOT AS WASTEFUL AS THE BLOOMBERG CAMPAIGN.
THE MONEY WAS SPENT AT A GENTLEMEN'S CLUB, LOCAL BARS AND
ONLINE GAMBLING, OR AS THE SCHOOL OFFICIALS CALL THAT,
BIOLOGY, SIRVEGS AND MATH.
THEY BLEW MONEY ON GENTLEMENMAN'S CLUBS.
THE ACCOUNTANTS BECAME SUSPICIOUS WHEN THE SCHOOL
OFFICIALS ASKED FOR ALL 700,000 IN ONE.
AND FINALLY, HERE'S THE STORY FOR ANY FREAK FLYERS OUT THERE.
AN AIRLINE IN NEW ZEALAND WOULD COME UP WITH A NEW WAY TO ALLOW
ECONOMY CLATION FLYERS TO SLEEP ON LONG FLIGHTS IN TINY BUNK
BEDS.
HERE SAY PICTURE HERE.
LOOK AT THAT, THERE THEY ARE.
ALL CRAMMEDOGETHER.
THERE IS OBVIOUSLY TINY BUNKER BEDS.
TINY BUNK BEDS SOUNDS WAY BETTER THAN STACKING HORIZONTALLY.
THE AIRLINE WILL NOW STACK YOU IN BUNK BEDS WHICH IS WAY MORE
COMFORTABLE THAN THE OLD WAY OF DOING IT, SHOVING YOU INTO AN
OVERHEAD COMPARTMENT.