THIS IS ONLY OUR 15th SHOW, AND I'M PROUD TO SAY, WE'VE
ALREADY HAD QUITE A FEW PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES ON.
BUT WHO I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO SITTING DOWN WITH IS HILLARY
CLINTON.
SHE IS BY FAR THE ODDS ON FAVORITE TO WIN THE DEMOCRATIC
NOMINATION EVEN THOUGH HER PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN HAS HAD
MORE THAN ITS SHARE OF BUMPS IN THE ROAD.
FROM THE BENGHAZI CONTROVERSY TO HER PRIVATE EMAIL SERVER TO THE
PERSISTENT ALLEGATION THAT SHE'S LESS CHARISMATIC THAN A
70-YEAR-OLD SOCIALIST WHO DOESN'T OWN A PHONE.
(LAUGHTER) SERIOUSLY.
JUST GET A BRUSH, BERNIE.
THROUGH ALL OF THIS, HILLARY HAS REMAIN UNDAUNTED.
BUT WE MAY HAVE FINALLY FOUND SOMETHING THAT MAY DAUNT HER.
ACCORDING TO "THE WASHINGTON POST," WHEN CLINTON RAN FOR
PRESIDENT IN 2008, SHE WAS 5'5" ACCORDING TO A HEIGHT REPORT
FROM THE CLINTON CAMPAIGN.
BUT NOW NEWS SOURCES SAY HILLARY CLINTON IS 5'7" TALL.
THAT'S RIGHT.
HILLARY CLINTON HAS ADDED TWO INCHES, A TACTIC NORMALLY
RESERVED FOR GUISE ON "GRINDER."
(LAUGHTER) (APPLAUSE)
THIS COULDN'T BE ONE OF THOSE CLASSIC CASES WHERE A WOMAN HITS
HER 60s AND SUDDENLY GETS TALLER.
HAPPENED TO MY GRANDMA.
BY THE TIME WE PUT HER IN A NURSING HOME, SHE COULD DUNK!
(LAUGHTER) OH, NANA.
WELL, THIS COULD BE A BONA FIDE CONSPIRACY.
IT MAY GO ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP.
A TOP WHICH IS TWO INCHES HIGHER THAN IT WAS BEFORE.
BECAUSE THE CLINTON CAMPAIGN HAS REMAINED SILENT ON THE SUBJECT
AND APPEARS NOT TO HAVE SHARED HER HEIGHT WITH ANY REPORTERS OR
RESPONDED TO ANY QUERIES.
OH, SURE, THEY'RE HAPPY TO TALK ABOUT DEBT RELIEF OR RAISING
MINIMUM WAGE, BUT REFUSE TO TALK ABOUT IS HILLARY CLINTON TALL
ENOUGH TO RIDE SHOCK WAVE AT SIX FLAGS!
THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS!
SINCE 1900, THE TALLER GUY HAS WON THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION 19
TIMES, WHILE THE SHORTER CANDIDATE HAS WON JUST EIGHT
TIMES.
THAT'S ONE OF THE REASONS WHY, IN 1988, GEORGE H.W. BUSH SO
SOUNDLY DEFEATED GOVERNOR OF MASSACHUSETTS FRODO.
(APPLAUSE) THIS SENSATION OVER HILLARY'S
ELEVATION MIGHT BE THE THING THAT FINALLY TAKES HER DOWN, OR
UP.
WE DON'T KNOW AT THIS POINT.
IT'S BIGGER THAN ALL THE OTHER SCANDALS.
THIS HAS SERIOUS IMPLICATIONS.
WHAT ELSE IS HILLARY HIDING?
SHE SAYS SHE OPPOSEDS KEYSTONE XL, BUT MAYBE SHE'S HOLDING OUT
FOR XXL.
I KNOW A LOT OF WOMEN ARE.
A LOT OF THEM ARE.
(APPLAUSE) IT'S SO DEPRESSING.
LET'S BE HONEST.
WE'RE ALL ADULTS HERE -- EXCEPT FOR THE KIDS WATCHING -- AND WE
ALL KNOW HOW SHE BULL BINGED UP -- SHE'S JUICING!
IT WOULDN'T BE TOUGH FOR HER TO HIDE THE SIGNS OF STEROID USE.
NOT LIKE SHE'LL HAVE MOOD SWINGS, SHE ONLY HAS ONE --
WHATEVER THE FOCUS GROUP SAYS IT SHOULD BE.
(APPLAUSE) BIG FANS OF FOCUS GROUPS HERE
TONIGHT.
(LAUGHTER) EVERYONE RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT
HAS TO RIDE THEROID.
THAT'S HOW THE GAME'S PLAYED.
ON AN AVERAGE CAMPAIGN, THEY HAVE TO HIT TWO PAN CAME
BREAKFASTS, FOUR TOWN HALL MEETINGS AND A $10,000 A PLATE
DINNER.
DO YOU THINK THEY WOULD HAVE THAT STAMINA WITHOUT SOMETHING?
DON'T KID YOURSELF.
THERE'S A LONG HISTORY OF PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES BULKING
UP TO GET INTO THE OVAL OFFICE.
WE ALL KNOW THAT'S HOW J.F.K.
WON THE DEBATE AGAINST RICHARD NIXON.
(APPLAUSE) ALL RIGHT, THAT'S WHY THEY
CALLED HIM "JACK"!
(LAUGHTER) NOW, THIS COULD BE A PLUS.
BECAUSE IF HILLARY CONTINUES TO GROW, THINK HOW BIG SHE'LL BE
WHEN SHE FINALLY REACHES THE OVAL OFFICE, WE WON'T HAVE TO
WORRY ABOUT IRAN BECAUSE MEGA HILLARY CAN SWAT MISSILES OUT OF
THE SKY!
(APPLAUSE) I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HOW HEIGHT
GHAZI PLAYS OUT.