♪♪♪ >> AH, YES.
THANK YOU FOR THAT WONDERFUL SOLO, MELISSA.
LIFE IS, INDEED, A HIGHWAY. NOW, I'D LIKE TO ASK THE CLASS
OF 2021 TO RISE AS YOU RECEIVE YOUR DIPLOMAS AND A REMINDER TO
FAMILIES, I'LL BE READING A LOT OF NAMES, SO PLEASE HOLD YOUR
APPLAUSE UNTIL THE END. ♪♪♪
MADISON ABBOTT. QUINTIN ADDISON.
>> YEAH! >> THIS IS YOUR DAY!
>> AH, ANOTHER REMINDER, PLEASE HOLD YOUR APPLAUSE.
>> I'M NOT APPLAUDING, I'M YELLING!
>> HEY, MY BABY HAD A SPEECH PREPARED!
>> I'M SORRY, NO SPEECHES. >> WELL, YOU LET HIM TALK AS HE
WALK ACROSS. >> I'M SORRY, I CAN'T DO IT.
MICHAEL ALBRIGHT. >> YEAH, YOU DID IT!
YOU DID IT BOY. BOY, I SWEAR, WE DIDN'T THINK
YOU WERE GOING TO MAKE IT. >> NO, NO.
HE DIDN'T READ A SINGLE BOOK. SHOULD I NOT SAY THAT OUT LOUD?
>> PLEASE, LIKE I SAID -- >> MICHAEL!
MICHAEL, BABY, LIFT UP YOUR ROBE.
I BOUGHT HIM A WHOLE NEW OUTFIT AND HE UP THERE DRESSED LIKE
EVERYBODY ELSE. BABY, BABY, SHOW US YOUR NEW
BELT. I BOUGHT HIM A NEW BELT.
>> IT'S GUCCI. IT DON'T SAY IT, BUT IT IS.
MY MAN'S A BALLER. LOOK AT HIM.
HE'S GRADUATING MAGNUM, LIKE HIS FATHER, MAGNUM CUM LOUDER.
>> PLEASE, LET'S MOVE ON. DANETTA ANDREWS.
>> YEAH! >> HEY, THAT'S OUR LITTLE
COUSIN. >> YOU BETTER SMILE, GIRL, YOU
DID IT! OH, SHE'S EMBARRASSED BECAUSE
SHE AIN'T GOT HER ADULT TEETH YES.
>> GO AHEAD, SMILE, GIRL, SHOW THE WORLD THEM TIC-TAC TEETH.
>> SHE'S SAD BECAUSE SHE GOT MORE GUMS THAN SHE GOT TEETH.
>> LOOKING LIKE A LITTLE CAP AND GOWN --
>> OKAY, THANK YOU. LET'S KEEP GOING.
SIMON ALEXANDER. >> OH, OH, THAT'S MY LITTLE
GODSON. >> SIMON, MY MAN!
SIMON, HEY, SIMON! DO THE BACK FLIP!
BIG MAN, DO THE BACK FLIP. HE'S PROBABLY GOING TO DO A BACK
FLIP. >> WE LIKE TO CALL HIM
SIMON BILES, BECAUSE HE'S A GYMNAST.
>> HEY, HEY. THIS BOY NEVER STOP BACK
FLIPPING. THIS BOY CAN FLIP HIS ASS OFF.
WHAT? YOU SCARED?
OH, YOU GOING TO PUNK OUT? OH, DAMN, MAN.
ALL THAT BACK FLIPPING AND FOR WHAT?
>> YOU BETTER STOP PLAYING WITH ME!
HE MAKING ME LOOK BAD. I NEVER ASKED FOR A GODSON
THAT'S A NONFLIPPING LITTLE BITCH.
>> PLEASE, PLEASE, CAN WE KEEP OUR COMMENTS TO A MINIMUM?
WE'VE GOT ALMOST 200 NAMES HERE, SO --
OKAY. NOW, BEFORE I READ THE NEXT
NAME, PLEASE REMEMBER TO KEEP QUIET.
HERE WE GO -- LETICIA ALLEN. >> A WHITE GIRL NAMED LETICIA?
>> I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING. >> UPSET OF THE YEAR!
>> ONCE AGAIN, PLEASE, NO COMMENTS AND -- ESPECIALLY THESE
TWO FAMILIES OVER HERE. >> IS HE POINTING AT US?
I KNOW HE NOT POINTING AT US IN THIS DAY AND AGE.
>> TIFFANY ATWOOD. >> YEAH, TIFF!
>> TIFFANY! >> YEAH, BABY, YOU GRADUATED.
>> WE ARE SO GOING TO DAVE AND BUSTER'S AFTER THIS.
>> PLEASE, I JUST ASKED FOR SILENCE.
>> SORRY, SIR. SHE'S THE FIRST ONE IN OUR
FAMILY TO "GRADIATE." >> YEAH, WE'RE GOING TO GET A
BENTLEY! >> I HIGHLY DOUBT THAT.
>> EXCUSE ME, BUT OUR DAUGHTER GOT A PRESTIGIOUS INTERNSHIP
WITH MR. P.F. CHANG. >> THAT'S A RESTAURANT.
>> WELL, DID YOU GET IN? >> I'VE BEEN THERE, YES.
>> OKAY. SO YOU KNOW IT'S GOOD!
>> HEY, YOU REMIND ME OF THIS GUY BACK HOME WHO USED TO TOUCH
HIS KIDS. WHAT'S HIS NAME, TREVOR?
IS YOUR NAME TREVOR? >> THIS IS NOT A Q&A, SIR.
>> WELL, IF I'D KNOW NOBODY WAS GOING TO FOLLOW THE RULES, I
WOULD HAVE CHEERED. >> OH, SIR, SIR, GO AHEAD, THEN.
YOU CAN CHEER. HEY PRIPRINCIPAL, LET THIS MAN'
CHILD GO AGAIN. >> NO.
IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY. >> COME ON, MAN!
COME ON, MAN! COME ON, MAN!
>> FINE! MADISON ABBOTT.
>> WOO. >> GOOD JOB, MADISON.
>> NICE ONE. >> FOR REAL?
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? >> Y'ALL ARE EMBARRASSING.
>> BOO! WE FOUGHT FOR YOU.
>> BABY, YOU CAN COME LIVE WITH US.
>> THAT'S RIGHT, LITTLE WHITE BABY.
>> I THINK EVERYONE'S JUST FREAKED OUT BECAUSE THE
PRINCIPAL'S A KID TOUCHER. >> OKAY.
NO. YOU KNOW WHAT?
I THINK WE'RE DONE. YEAH, I'M JUST GOING TO ARRANGE
FOR THE REST OF THE GRADUATES TO GET THEIR DIPLOMAS IN THE MAIL.
>> I LIKE THAT, MAN. KEEPS THINGS SHORT.
>> I AIN'T EVEN MAD. GIVES US MORE TIME TO CELEBRATE.
>> GREAT IDEA, KID TOUCHER. NOW WHERE DO WE PICK UP THE
BENTLEY?